4-Step Strategy to Persist Through Failure

How do you turn setbacks into stepping stones to success?

1 word—4 steps.

The 1 Word: TIME

When you’re in the moment, it feels like everything is falling apart. Understand that, with TIME, you gain perspective to realize that today’s setback is not the end. It's the beginning of what could be tomorrow’s success story—if we seize the opportunity.

The 4 Steps: T-I-M-E also gives you a powerful 4-step strategy to persist through failure.

T: Take full responsibility for your situation.

Our human nature reaction is to blame someone or something else. And, in some cases, we might be justified. But being “the victim” only makes you feel powerless to change your circumstances. So, think about the things you could have done differently and acknowledge your part in the situation. Then you’ll feel empowered to take positive steps toward improvement.

I: Imagine possible solutions.

“Imagine” is the operative word here. During the moment, you might be thinking, “There are no solutions! I’m stuck!” But when you “imagine,” you put yourself in a more resourceful mindset to break the negative cycle. You might say to yourself, “Okay, maybe there aren’t solutions right now. But what if there were? What would those solutions look like? What are the possibilities?” Now your mind is free to think creatively to generate the ideas you need to succeed.

M: Move!

So often, when we’re in the midst of a setback, we just want to ball up into a fetal position and sleep. But it’s precisely when we feel the sting of failure that we need to build momentum toward our goals. For example, after I imagined possible solutions and mapped out a plan, I wrote a personal contract that I signed, outlining all the steps I was committed to doing each day—e.g. wake up at 5 am, get out a certain number of pitches, reading certain books, etc.— to improve my situation. I then shared that contract with my wife Jennifer to help hold me accountable.

E: Enlist the help of others.

This is a crucial step because, after a failure, you feel so alone. Sometimes, that is of our own doing because we isolate ourselves. And in other cases, we feel ostracized by people who seem to enjoy that we’ve been knocked down. Cut out those critics and negative influences from your inner circle and surround yourself with the people who believe in you and want to help you succeed. I would not be where I am without Jennifer, my family, and the mentors in my life who have continually encouraged me to get back up.

The Caterpillar and the Butterfly

There's a metaphor that has meant so much to me during my darkest days and helped me persist through struggle.

It's what I call "The Caterpillar and the Butterfly."

I think of the caterpillar inside the chrysalis or cocoon.

The caterpillar is in absolute darkness, but it still works each day, throughout the day, to push against the walls of the chrysalis with the hope of one day breaking free.

Then one day, it happens.

After weeks of struggle, the caterpillar is able to pierce a small hole into the chrysalis. And not long after, it breaks free as a completely new creature with wings.

It was inside that cocoon, where each day the caterpillar struggled in darkness, pushing against the walls of the chrysalis, that it transformed into a butterfly, having built up the strength it needed to fly.

So often, when we're in that moment of failure, we feel like we're in this oppressively dark place with little hope of breaking free.

But if, by faith, we commit to persist and push against that barrier—each day, throughout the day—we will eventually be transformed with the strength we need to achieve massive breakthroughs in our lives.

As with the Caterpillar and the Butterfly … It’s in the struggle that we build the strength to fly.

Sean M. Lyden is CEO of Lyden Communications LLC, an Orlando, Fla.-based consulting company that helps entrepreneurs increase sales through storytelling.