I have been having a number of conversations about the challenges faced by folks who have been laid off. There are so many feelings of overwhelm, disappointment, confusion and even numbness. Many folks even share, they have been in this space more than once throughout the span of their career. For many, like myself, it is the first time and a very foreign experience and certainly a sense of discomfort that is unfamiliar.
So what does one do during such a period of transition? Here is what I have found helpful:
- Rest! Take the time to actually reconnect with yourself and engage in spaces and activities that allow for you to rest. It will feel very irresponsible at first, as you say to yourself, "I need to grind and make connections and find a new job. After all I have bills that keep coming!" However, what you realize when you actually take the time to Rest, is how caught up and conditioned you have been for so many years, to be working and pushing against your own personal boundaries of wellbeing, and getting nothing in return aside from two weeks vacation a year and maybe, just maybe 10 days of personal leave. When you add this up, this is 20 working days in a year that you get as "rest from work"...Hmm.
- Re-Evaluate! Do you remember who you actually are without a work title or task list for managing your team and portfolio? If I were to ask you, "Who are You?" How would you respond, without telling me what you do as a professional? I find this to be such a difficult thing for individuals to do, because what this society prides itself on, is having people define themselves based on their professional duties and organization's objectives and goals. Not knowing who you are at your core, your authentic self, is a very unfortunate thing and for many of us, our jobs condition us to forget; in the name of compliance. This is why I am all about BOLD authentic identity. Very few spaces have the capacity for this, which is why people need to stop saying, they wish to be their whole self at work...NEWS FLASH! Work does not want your full, authentic and whole self. It just wants the portion of you that will easily comply/conform and meet the outcomes for the benefit of the company. Mind you, there are spaces, VERY few, that have come around or are taking steps to value their staff and such an approach yields profound outcomes both mentally for staff and production wise for the business.
- Release! There are going to be moments of absolute frustration or dismay and in those moments, you will have to allow. As uncomfortable as it will be (speaking from experience) those are moments when you will want to avoid the thoughts and feelings. In these moments, Release. Some people say they have screamed, cried, or cooked. I like the cooking personally, as a foodie. I also encourage taking walks, dancing, exercising (something that gets you sweating) to really get things out of our system. Another recommendation is writing. Write out your thoughts throughout the day. It can be short statements about how you feel in a moment or it can be a long reflection piece, looking at how you got to this space and what it is feeling like for you. All the things, as I would say.
- Re-Engage! Get back to what it is that makes you light up. What makes you feel good? For me, I enjoy learning. So preparing things to facilitate for others or designing solutions to different problems helps me to feel creative and energized. And it actually is pretty easy for me which reminds me, when I am in that space of ease or flow, then I am aligning. What makes you feel like this? Can you make this something that not only allows you to get through this current phase but also bolster what it is that you step into next? Think about things that make you spark and feel good and craft a description of how you would want to do that each day and who you want to help and how you want to be compensated and where do you want to do this type of work? Craft as you Re-Engage with your spark and your "jam" as I like to say. You can also spend time developing your new job search strategy based on what you have crafted, now that you have specific things you know you need to feel good about what you do on a daily basis for your career, not just your job.
I hope these quick 4 R's will help you to move through this period, as they have helped me. Now I will remind you, brain fog is real! And you will not feel good everyday and your thinking will be scattered and emotions low. That is ALL normal and welcomed, despite the deep discomfort. However, like my dear aunt told me today, what is for sure, is that this is going to pass; her words were "There is no greater truth than all of this will pass. You just have to go through." So, feel the feels, reach out to folks who can genuinely support you during this time and keep yourself forward facing always!
Drop me a line if you need to at [email protected] or in LinkedIn messages.
