4 Questions To Ask A Mentor

“A good coach will make his players see what they can become rather than what they are.”

 – Ara Parseghian

In a prior article we went over proven ideas on how to find a mentor. This time I'd like to share with you some simple yet useful questions you as a mentee can use in your very first conversation with a mentor. These questions are designed to break the ice, accelerate your knowledge of each other and, perhaps most importantly, help the both of you quickly figure out if this will be a good mentoring match.

These questions are merely a starting point. Each can and should spur further questions and conversations.

Here we go:

1. Have you mentored before? - It's extremely beneficial to find out if you are working with a first time mentor. If so, I'd start off by thanking them for participating in what should hopefully prove to be a fulfilling experience! Then I'd spend a little more time ensuring you are both on the same page about mentoring "ground rules" such as required confidentiality and time commitment expected of each other. If you are with an experienced mentor, I'd focus additional questions about what worked particularly well (and what didn't) with their past mentees.
2. Have you ever had a mentor? - This is a great thing to find out. If this person has had mentors of their own it demonstrates that they take career and personal growth seriously. That's not to say that mentoring is the only way for growth. However working with a mentor who themselves have felt the positive impact of this activity will make some conversations easier. I'd dig deeper and ask them about the mentors they say had the greatest impact on their careers and why. As in question #1, you should also dive into what worked for them as the mentee in those sessions as well as what didn't to better ensure a smoother relationship.
3. What are some topics that interest you? - The agenda for mentoring conversations need to be brought by you as the mentee. It is the mentee's responsibility to bring up topics they care about. Wouldn't it be interesting though to find out early on what common interests both you and your mentor share? Those areas could be used as a blueprint for your first set of sessions. When I'm asked this question my answer is: 1. communication; 2. confidence; 3. influencing. These are challenging skills to develop especially earlier in one's career and to improve upon as that career develops.
4. How can I help you? - This question strongly reinforces the notion that a mentoring relationship is ultimately a two-way street. It also demonstrates that the mentee recognizes he/she should offer something of value back to the mentor for their time spent. That keeps the goodwill going. The mentor may not have an answer immediately. Should a request ever come, as a mentee I would do my utmost to honor that request.

There you have it. Four straightforward questions to get you started. I hope you use this list as a jumping off point to delve deeper into whatever areas will be of value to you.

Enjoy your journey!

“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.” – Japanese Proverb