#4. The Power of a Mother's Love

“When you are going through hell, keep going”. Winston Churchill

A notification would pop up on my phone when I was going through tough times.

This was one of many classic quotes Mum would send us. Now, we sit around her bed as she takes the final passage, reading the quotes she once sent us. There is a profound clarity in these moments, a quiet realisation that the only thing truly matters is each other. No matter how difficult the journey may be, in the end, nothing else matters. The love we give, receive, and hold onto defines our legacy.

From outback Queensland to Brisbane, she studied under the sheets of her bed in the dorm holding a torch at the Royal Brisbane Hospital to become a nurse. There, she found her best friends and met my dad, sneaking out at night. Recently, they received a letter from the King, the Governor-General of Australia, the Governor of Queensland, various Federal and State Premiers, and local Council members congratulating them on 60 years of marriage.

As a witness to their long union, it was sacrifice and dedication to the relationship.? They worked side by side running the Pharmacy in Nanango. Mum would often kick him when he was rude to the customers. Mum would listen to everyone and smile, and their business was built on Dad’s business and savings skills and Mum’s compassionate chit-chat capability.

What Mum wants you to know:

My job is to make you financially independent.

Work hard, and the rest will follow.

Mum’s generation of women were not allowed to pursue careers or be financially independent. Mum worked because my Dad was a small business owner. She comes from Frazers and Gordon clans. She is tough as boots and resilient. Life is short. Enjoy yourself, don't sweat the small stuff, don't harbour, keep moving forward.

We descend from Alexander Fraser/Frazer. Richard Frazer, born on May 26, 1866, in Yass, King County, NSW, was the second child of Alexander and Martha. He moved with his family to Charleville at 12 in 1878. Initially working for the railways in Quilpie, Richard opened his first butcher shop there before returning to Charleville to start another one.

On December 2, 1903, he married Elizabeth Selina Britcher at All-Saints Church in Charleville. The couple had seven children: Richard, Henry, Martha, Albert, Leslie, William, and Ernest. In 1918, they moved to Augathella, where Richard built a new butcher shop, which remained in the family, operated by his grandson Cedric in the 1990s. They also welcomed a daughter, Gladys, their last child, in Augathella.

In addition to the butcher shop, Richard constructed a café and boarding house in Augathella, which Elizabeth managed. Elizabeth passed away on February 17, 1928, at age 42, leaving Richard to raise their young family. Richard died in Augathella on August 11, 1945, at 79. His daughter Glady May Frazer (Mum's mother) married Roy Alexander Gordon (my grandparents). The rest is history!

We descend from multiple generations of hard-working women and men. Without them, I would not be here and have the opportunities to go to University, do the work I love, and raise a family. Every generation of women before me did not have the same opportunities – I am so grateful for their sacrifices, grit, and “going to University” attitude.?

When I welcomed my first child, my mother stepped in to care for him for 13 weeks throughout that first year, allowing me to attend international conferences and pursue my career as a neuroscientist. While my family struggled to understand my decision to leave pharmacy—a profession they viewed as ideal for women! She didn’t want to be called Grandma; instead, her grandchildren affectionately named her Behar, a title she loved.

I watched each grandchild express love, sharing how kind she had been, especially when she gave them Tim Tams for breakfast. Despite the ups and downs we faced, the disagreements and mistakes, all of that faded away. This moment is a beautiful reminder that we all journey to the same destination regardless of our paths.

Mum wants everyone to know that if things are tough, keep going, stay strong, and things will improve. You are stronger than you realise; life is short, and the only thing you leave behind is others.

Thank you, Mum. We love you.

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