The 4 P.M Reflection Question

Let me start with 2 questions: Do you ask yourself enough reflection questions? Are you asking what on earth are reflection questions?

Well, questions which trigger an inward thought process where you throw light on your own thoughts, feelings (yes, 2 very different things) behaviors, needs, perceptions, biases etc. These are questions which help you understand yourself better, call out your BS & get into a habit of critically evaluating yourself, instead of blindly & conveniently thinking I am right. Reflection questions are typically asked after an activity is deliberately experienced; it is the key to maximizing learning in the school of experiential learning. So naturally, reflective questions lead to a lot of learning, realizations, empathy & at the far, dark end, self-criticism!

Some Reflective questions to frequently ask could be:

1. What am I grateful for today?
2. What do I do that makes me feel valuable?
3. What puts me in grief?
4. Why do certain challenges/fights reoccur in my intimate relationships?
5. What do I call as my values & counter values?

You get the drift… Google for more information.

So, What is 'The 4 P.M Reflection Question'?

As she sat repairing her sewing machine late one night, my mother said “so every day during my 4pm evening tea, I ask myself what is the new learning I have had today. It could be anything, yesterday I learnt a new raaga, today repairing this sewing machine, day before was new rava dose recipe…” It blew my mind so much, that for once I actually put down my phone & listened to my mother! What she said & did made absolute sense. That is personalized kaizen in action. Continuous improvement & growth! This is how she makes meaning during lockdown!

Human beings have the singular ability to enrich learning through reflection, journaling, committing something to memory, setting goals and motivating oneself. Making self-learning a habit isn't only about professional growth. It is also not just the romantic idea propounded by 'wise uncles' in family gatherings; "everything is learning opportunity, ma". Learning, especially reflective learning, propagates growth - cognitively, emotionally & even spiritually.

Today, the privileged lot that sits at home face a unique problem - Excess exposure to news and social media. Social media has door delivered addiction to people of all ages. Look around your families, we don't need any other validating data! Countering this numbness and disconnection with the self is possible through an actively cultivated learning habit. Making time to build a skill & practicing it requires us to create a space outside of mindless digital consumption.

So here are my two cents on building a habit of continuous & self-learning:

1. Set a time to ask this key question everyday – “What did I learn in the last 24 hours?”
2. The daily learning need not be a whole new topic, it can be (a) continuation of previous learning, (b) practice of a newly learnt skill
3. You do not need a teacher or a classroom to learn something new. Google, experimentation, online courses, things in your house, grandma’s wisdom… a million sources to learn, for the seeker!

Invite you to start asking the 4p.m reflection question; it will trigger two things - a daily practice of reflection & the learning bug. Because as the great saint A.Einstein says, “Once you stop learning, you start dying”.  Let's find time to live a little, every day.

PS: Learning of & spreading fake news strictly does not fall under the category of the 4p.m ritual. It has its own category called ‘Regrets of the Day’!