The 4 Most Annoying Salespeople

Sales is Critical to our Economy

I get that - I really do. As a matter of fact, my first job out of university was in Sales. So I probably "get" it better than most people who get cold called at the office. Now that I think about it, perhaps it is due to my Sales background that I get so annoyed with BAD salespeople (like someone who used to wait tables in college and is super hard on waitresses now).

Bad salespeople are driving me crazy - worse, they are costing themselves and me time (and therefore money)!

And yes, I do mean bad salespeople. They are not good at their jobs, and lately, many don't seem to care enough to get good at it.

Why not just hang up, you ask? At home, I might. But, at work ... I don't just hang up the phone because - well - that's rude & unprofessional. It surely gets tempting when 1 of these types call me, though!

The Types

1. The Noob ... who pretends to be experienced

Everybody has to start somewhere. I know I made some pretty dumb mistakes when I was first selling, but I was honest and upfront with my potential customers that I was new at the game. That gave me a little more wiggle room for errors (and honestly, I probably got some pity sales right at the beginning).

But new sales people who don't even understand their own product, let alone the wider market, and pretend that they do ... this is not a recipe for success. Especially when they try to snow the potential customer; if I know more than you do about the topic, you will not fool me with this approach.

If you are new to sales, new to the industry you are selling into, and/or new to your specific product, then be honest about that. Say something like "Listen, I am new at this game, but I believe we have an exciting package we can offer your company. Anything I can't answer for you, we can bring in the right experts." See? I'm already liking you better!

Learn from your potential customers as they give you useful tidbits that you can use with your next customer. This is not "cheating", as one noob recently lamented to me: it is smart. You don't get to your Gladwellian 10,000 hours by not learning!

Also, I beg you, learn the basic terminology of the product space in which you are selling. I will never buy from a salesperson who doesn't understand the most basic level of what I do. Even better if you can use your newly-minted knowledge to teach me something exciting & emerging!

2. The Activity-Based Seller

One of the first things I learned when I started selling was "it's a numbers game". For my industry at the time, the ratio was 10:3:1 (10 Prospects to 3 appointments to 1 sale). However, I didn't begin making any money until I learned that getting rid of the "No" answers as quickly as possible was the key to those numbers.

When you call on a company, in this information age, take at least 1 minute to do an internet search. Find out what they do and how they do it. Many B2B companies do not even have call centers, so realize that if what you sell is software for call centers, B2B probably isn't fertile ground for you to try sowing your seeds!

If I tell you I don't have a call center, don't keep trying to tell me why I need your call center software. It is a waste of your time and mine. You can't change me into a "3" when I am one of the 7. And you certainly aren't going to get me to the "1", because I don't need what you are selling. Finding appropriate prospects is critical!

Way back when we used to use the terms Suspect and Prospect to differentiate between Suspect (who maybe had a need) and Prospect (who we knew did have a need). Maybe that concept needs to be resurfaced in the ABS selling systems.

3. The Weird Speech Pattern

Lately, I have been getting a lot of calls from people who are clearly in call centers ... somewhere in the world. I don't love call centers, but I guess they are a necessary evil in today's world.

What I will not tolerate, though, is people who appear to be speaking phonetically from a script and may not have any idea what they are actually saying (nor what I am replying).

The other thing which is an enormous pet peeve (like, it is a baby elephant-sized pet peeve) is the nasally speaking voice that many younger women are adopting. WHY?!? It is irritating; it does not make you sound smarter or more cultured. It does make me want to hang up that phone as quickly as possible. (Side note: also skip the vocal fry, please!) It also makes it very difficult to understand what you are actually saying, so I have no idea what you are trying to sell me.

Finally, if English is not your first language, and you are selling to those for whom it is: please try to get your accent intelligible. I am genuinely fed up with people who call me (unsolicited) and get frustrated with me for not understanding their thick accent. (Side note: I worked at a multinational for nearly 2 decades. Many of the people I worked with had very heavy accents, from literally all over the globe, so I am GOOD at interpreting accents ... the problem in this case is not me.)

4. The Lazy "Relationship" Salesperson

This person has been taught that building a relationship is key, so they will claim to have done the research. They may have even done a cursory search, but they didn't really "take in" what they read.

I had a call this week from someone who claimed to have found me via LinkedIn. I have learned to say "Great! What struck you about my profile that prompted this call?" If they have no answer, we are done.

In this case, it was worse; so much worse (but kind of funny).

Here is how it went:

• Salesman: "I've always wanted to work with XYZ"
• Me: "I don't work there any more"
• Salesman: "But I just looked at your LinkedIn profile; you need to update it" (For the record, it is up to date).
• Me: "Didn't you reach me via the Reception desk?"
• Salesman: "Yes"
• Me: "What company did she say when she answered the phone?"
• Salesman: <pauses> "Yeah I think the letters she said were different. That's weird, huh?"
• Me: "So, how did you reach me?" (Now I am curious about his thought process)
• Salesman: "I looked up NewCo online"
• Me: "So..." <the light finally dawns for the salesman>

There was SO MUCH wrong with this conversation (like, him telling me to update my profile - even if that were true, it is not appropriate). But at the end it stems from a lack of attention to detail, which is a dis qualifier in a sales person, in my book. And if you're calling me, it is my book that matters.

If you want to sell via relationship, you have to be authentic, and honest. If you have to internet search to find out how to fool people into thinking you are, don't waste your time.

Who gets it right?

The better conversations are ones where the salesperson:

• is in it for the long term. There is one sales person I have known for several years. Although I have not yet placed a PO with her, I will someday, because she has been cultivating the relationship - and adding value to my workday - for years.
• has a pleasant phone manner and speaking voice. I can tell if you are tired, stressed, annoyed, or bored. My first sales manager once told me "People can tell if you are picking your nose on the phone." While more colorful than I would normally be, it does make the point clearly.
• understands what I do, at least the basics. If you do not know the elementary terminology for my field, you are not going to sell to me.
• has some notion of what my company does, at least as a rudimentary level. If you can't figure out from our web site (or can't be bothered; I don't really care which) that we manufacture metal buildings & related components, then I am done talking to you.
• has dug into their own offering to be able to explain various use cases for it. If you can show me a way to use your product that may not have occurred to me, then I am going to listen a lot longer!
• lets the conversation go when they realize that their offering is not a good fit at this time, but asks if they can send across contact details. I have an extensive file of sales calls who ended their contact right. I keep them on file in case I ever need their offering! The ones who have committed any of the above sins get filed in the Delete folder (I also don't accept their LinkedIn invitations, but I do with the ones who handle themselves well).

So please, sales people, do yourselves and us a favor. Take a few minutes to make the sales call worthwhile ... or don't make it at all.