4 Loving Ways To Speak To Your Inner Critic
Luann Horobin, BAHS, MCC
Executive & Leadership Coach | Career Acceleration | Mindset Transformation Consultant | Vertical Development | ??Advanced NLP l? Creating New Conversations & Realities | ??Get What & Where You Want, When You Want
Something useful for your inner critic …
Letting go of negative self talk has been showing up a lot and it’s a big part of the workshop I’m preparing on the 4 steps to go from ‘Fed Up To Fired Up’.
? This week I was asked, ‘how?’
???The answer: love your inner critic. How?
It all starts with embracing all parts of you, even the critical ones.
?Past moments of hurt, shame, judgment, rejection cumulate to beliefs and stories that form your inner critic.
?Too…. Loud, quiet, attractive, ugly, old, young, rich, poor, big, small, stylish, drab, funny, serious.
?All the “wrongness” forms the inner critic that conditions us to be and do certain things to meet the demands of our parents, friends, environment and secure safety, love and belonging.
?It’s often thought to push it away, since it stems from wrongness, but this only makes it stronger as the beliefs that run these programs are 90% of the mind, and the conscious decision to stop it is 10%.
This explains why 'what you can't be with is what runs you.'
Emotional pain cannot kill you but running from it can.?Instead, allow, embrace it, love it.
?Here’s 4 loving ways to speak to your inner critic which changes your self-talk and your life.
?Pleasure.
Trauma is often the source of the inner critic, which is painful in our bodies, so we zone out, our mind wanders as our body doesn’t feel safe.
When it’s unhappy, try doing something you like, as 'I get that I’m not doing what you want. Let’s take a break and go do something satisfying.' Your pleasure is a doorway to joy.
?Practice.
Practice being your own best friend and cheerleader, repetition makes it more real.
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Hey, you talented human. You’ve got such great empathy! Did you see how you made that person smile? Keep on beaming, the world needs your light!
?Curiosity
Get curious about what your inner critic wants you to do.
Hey protector. I sense you want me to do something to feel safer. If you can tell me what that is, I’m willing to give it a shot!???
It’s hard to run a race if you don’t know where the finish line is.
?Boundaries.
When it gets harsh, listen to what it’s trying to protect you from and set your boundaries. Boundaries you have for yourself are just as important as the ones you set for others.
Listen, inner critic, I know you’re trying to protect me, but you’re hurting me. I’m not available for this conversation. If you have something constructive, I’m open to hearing it to learn and grow.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of kindness.
???Since old beliefs and stories are the root of the critic, the key to lasting change is when the programs that run them are changed.
??Self talk either helps or hinders your ambitions. Your ambitions are too important to waste time feeling powerless to overcome transition challenges.
Every day another career/life changer turns transitional pain into transformation power. Check out this really nice place on the internet: masteringyoursavvy.
Check out the workshop on 4 steps to go from Fed Up To Fired Up, Oct. 20th @10:30 a.m. MST
Register link is in the comments.
Always in your corner, not going it alone, helping you bring your dreams and ambitions to life.,
Empowering You to Step Into Your Kingdom // Kingdom Builder // Running Enthusiast // Whiskey Drinker // Practitioner of Wordle //
2 年Luann Horobin, BAHS, MCC, I love this. Very insightful.
TEDx Speaker | Founder & CEO at Jesse Johnson Coaching, Inc.
2 年Great article, thanks for sharing!
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2 年Your workshop looks interesting, Luann! Thanks for sharing this advice: "??Since old beliefs and stories are the root of the critic, the key to lasting change is when the programs that run them are changed. ??Self talk either helps or hinders your ambitions."
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2 年How can you NOT get excited over the title of this workshop, Luann Horobin,? So empowering and looks to be an impactful event! ??
CEO EIG Global Trust Ltd. Chief Operating Officer at TAG Partners Ltd.
2 年What a great post Luann, so many positive points and a great read at the start of the week. Thank you.