The 4 Ground Rules for Major Decision Meetings

The following is adapted from The Art of Alignment by Patty Beach.

You’ve made the big proposal and positioned your organization for a potential major change, but now it’s decision time. The meeting is scheduled and the players are in place.  Don’t walk into this critical juncture unprepared or your new initiative could fall apart. You need to understand and establish ground rules that will move your ideas from concept to completion.

Ground rules are recommended for any meeting, but they are particularly useful when you are dealing with critical decisions. When followed, the following four ground rules will go a long way toward creating the best conditions and psychological safety needed to bring your team together in alignment around a major decision. 

Rule #1: Balance participation.

In any meeting, make sure that no one dominates or hijacks the session. Set equal participation as a ground rule and make sure the facilitation process aligns with it. 

One challenge to balancing participation in a large group is the fact that people move at different speeds. Extroverts tend to express their views quickly, while introverts might take more time before sharing their views. If you aren’t careful, the extroverts and quicker processors will dominate the group. If this dynamic is left unchecked, you, as the leader, have marginalized the introverts and those who process ideas more carefully. Even if you have done this unintentionally, you will not reach true alignment without balanced participation. 

There are many techniques to maximize the number of voices in the conversation. In larger groups, I like to break them into smaller groups then ask for a representative to share the views of the small group. This allows more people to express themselves. If you are leading a virtual meeting (e.g., Zoom or Skype), you can give everyone a chance to contribute using the chat feature, then discuss the ideas starting with the most frequent theme shared.

Rule #2: There are no bad ideas.

One fear at play in any group is that of appearing foolish. Often people with great ideas withhold them because they worry they haven’t thought them out enough. If the team dynamic is adversarial, people catch each other’s mistakes and use them as opportunities to get a leg up on each other. 

Mistakes are also exposed in a psychologically safe environment, but instead of pointing to the error, we kindly offer additional information to illuminate the topic at hand. You can create a “safe-to-say,” non-adversarial force field that invites all ideas by stating the ground rule that “there are no bad ideas” and then support that statement with your actions. By inviting all ideas, you make it safe for people to freely share ideas that haven’t been exhaustively researched, and you let the group do the refinement. 

Rule #3: Say what you mean, just don’t say it mean.

It is vital to encourage everyone to share their ideas freely and frankly. That said, ask all to speak their mind with kindness. I like to set that up by setting the ground rule:

“Say what you mean, just don’t say it mean.” 

This phrase pretty much sums up everything you need to know about how thoughts should be shared. While we all intend to be kind, sometimes people are unaware that their sharing sounds aggressive. 

Once when I served as a school board facilitator, I noticed that a board member, Dave, was dominating the meetings. He was wicked smart and always prepared, but he was also an alpha type with a commanding grizzly bear presence. His bold statements in opposition to ideas came off as condescending and sucked the air out of the room. 

I intervened and said, “Dave, your opinion matters, as does that of everyone here. Could you please restate your point of view in a manner that might be easier to hear?” Dave followed suit with more thoughtful and kind viewpoints that ultimately helped the entire team to become more engaged and reach better outcomes. 

Rule #4: Honor confidentiality. 

If the topic being discussed is sensitive or could be misinterpreted by those outside the group, it is important to agree on confidentiality boundaries. Sometimes to create safety in the group, you need to set a very tight boundary and do that early in the process. 

If you find the ground rule has been breached, find out why and reestablish a new rule that makes sense for the situation at hand. Remember the famous Vegas tourism slogan, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?” You can use a similar slogan to remind people to hold tight boundaries around sensitive conversations: “What happens in the room stays in the room.” 

If the group is speaking about someone not present, be sure that what is said aloud about that person sounds much like what would be said if they were present. This serves to protect every person’s dignity and will go a long way toward establishing trust in you and the groups you convene. 

Stick to the Rules

Making major decisions can be a tall order in a multi-layered organization with the potential for many opposing viewpoints. When a decision is on the line in a meeting, establishing these ground rules up front will make it possible to bring your group into alignment when they come together. Place a high value on these rules so that everyone feels psychologically safe to be heard. 

Using this balanced and inclusive approach to meetings will help you reach the best outcome, placing you in a position of trust. It will also set a precedent for how your organization approaches and arrives at the major decisions of tomorrow.

For more advice on major decision meetings, you can find The Art of Alignment on Amazon.

Patty Beach is the founder of LeadershipSmarts, a consulting firm that transforms managers into creative leaders that build “teams on fire that never burn out.” Her approach to leadership development evolved over twenty years of designing award-winning programs for companies, universities, nonprofits, and government agencies. Before earning a master's degree in organizational development from Pepperdine University, and becoming an ICF Master Certified Coach, Patty was a geologist and manager leading initiatives in new technology and emerging markets in the energy industry. Patty and her husband, Roger Toennis, also developed the Versatility Factor assessment to foster gender-inclusive leadership that embraces both masculine and feminine values.