The 4 F's of an Effective Apology

Too often a transgression creates a constraint in a professional or personal relationship that hampers the results and daily experience, which often can be both productive and enjoyable. We are sometimes willing to sacrifice value and growth because of a felt attack on our efficiency, pride, or role. I don’t like other people not acknowledging that I am right, but is it worth the time, money, and resources to wait around for someone to acknowledge that I’m right before I act?

In our programming from friends, family, and society, we’ve been trained to participate in drama games. Games are played because there can be a payoff, it transfers responsibility from actions to drama, and it avoids the real issue, which often is hard to talk about. Some people may play drama games because they feel like they’re stroke deprived and need some bolstering of their ego. Others play games to get close to people without risking intimacy. Overall, games are a way people try to get what they want instead of asking for it.

If you want to stop participating in the games that you’ve allowed yourself to play or move past games effectively to get back to productivity then read this post and follow my formula for an apology that will build trust and allow a conversation about the actual issue, rather than participate in drama. Remember: drama exists to avoid responsibility.