4 Factors That Influence The Likelihood of Divorce

As a divorce lawyer, I am privy to many stories of what caused the breakdown of a couple's marriage. It is often not one single event, but a series of events over time that pulls two people further and further away from each other. For some couples, the pulling apart seems inevitable. For others, the distance is far more mournful because I think some basic early intervention would have done wonders. Every couple is different, but what follows are 4 main reasons I have observed for couples divorcing.

Poor Communication

I am surprised by how many couples text each other to discuss major issues. It is one way to avoid conflict, but conflict should be dealt with in a healthy way.

When it comes to marriage, communication is key. Poor communication often leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance. The longer the misunderstanding or unresolved conflict lingers, the wider the emotional distance. Make a conscious effort to set aside time to talk at the same time each day so it is part of a routine. Try to find a quiet time when neither of you is rushed for time and a comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted.

Financial Secrets

Research indicates that roughly 70% of couples report financial issues as a source of stress in their relationship. Whether as a result of different spending habits, debt, or job loss, money problems can create serious tension within a marriage. Usually, in a marriage, one person is a spender and one a saver. This becomes a problem when one person becomes controlling and not willing to partner with their spouse for any form of compromise.

Couples should regularly review and adjust their budget based on their household income and expenses. Should partners have separate bank accounts, it is important to establish boundaries and expectations over the spending of those funds sooner rather than later.

Infidelity

Cheating or emotional affairs have a profound impact on a union. Indeed, many marriages do not survive infidelity; the erosion of trust, emotional pain, and sense of betrayal and resentment are often too much to bear. With one in five divorces occurring as a result of infidelity, it goes without saying that such behavior should be avoided at all costs.

Lack of Intimacy

We tend to emphasize practicality and stability in marriage over emotional or physical intimacy. But, a lack of intimacy is a major factor that leads to divorce. It can result in feelings of loneliness, emotional disconnection, and dissatisfaction, causing partners to feel unvalued and unheard in the relationship. Over time, this emotional disconnect can create an irreversible rift that many marriages cannot withstand.

I strongly encourage individuals to try couples counseling or discernment counseling before seeking legal help. That said, if divorce is inevitable, do not feel shame. Over time, some partners simply evolve in different directions, leading to a sense of incompatibility or loss of shared interests. Should you have any questions on the divorce process, I am happy to serve as a resource: [email protected]