4 Easy Ways to Kill Trust - Part 2 of 2
“Technique and technology are important, but adding trust is the issue of the decade.” — Tom Peters, Business Author & Thought Leader
NOTE: This is Part 2 of a 2-part post. If you haven’t read Part 1 check it out here.
Part 1 posed the question, why would anyone want to intentionally kill the trust that is so critical to business and personal success and relationships? And pointed out that all of us from time to time fall into four communication behaviors that do just that, sometimes without our conscious awareness.
In Part 2 we explore the final two of the four trust-killing behaviors, CRITICISM and MOTIVATION, (with Oxford Dictionary definitions and my own added interpretation):
CRITICISM (noun): the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
For me, the big operative word here is “perceived” faults or mistakes. WOW, that’s all about someone else’s judgement based on their own experience and mindset; and in my experience that can come with a ton of baggage! And criticizing someone, only serves to build up their defenses and make it even more difficult for change to take place, right?
MOTIVATION (noun): the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way
Well here’s another one that was difficult for me to find fault with in 1983, and may be still difficult for readers to understand why motivation would erode trust. What Peter and Claire meant in this scenario was motivation that comes from external sources, especially within organizations and their practices to “get employees fired up about something”.
Having spent 30+ years in the sales profession, I know this kind of external motivation all too well, and to be frank, it can really kill trust with your client in an instant. Think for example of the times you have been on the buying side of a transaction, and the sales person is suddenly introducing what seems like an arbitrary time-sensitive deadline to get you to “buy now”.
Of course, promotional sales must have a start and end date and that’s all fine as long as the ground rules are set in advance and are adhered to. But if you are suddenly hearing about some new deadline that doesn’t seem to have a logical reason beyond the sales person’s desire to “close” the deal sooner, that could really damage your trust of the salesperson, right?
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