3x3 Meeting Method

Reach your goals in every meeting

You need to excel in difficult meetings? This 3-step guideline helps you to prepare, execute, and follow-up your meetings very effectively. The method is action- and results-oriented and above all, very simple to memorize.

Technological advancement is providing us with many tools how we can facilitate and improve our communication. Communication is getting easier, faster, and multi-device. For different communicative purposes we use specific tools, which support us in reaching out most efficiently. Email, WhatsApp, Facebook, LinkedIn, Yammer, Teams – every tool has its reason of existence and we use them virtuously and intuitively to communicate.

Still, when it comes to business and deal-making everything boils down to personal meetings. Human interaction in personal meetings is the foundation of any collaboration. In meetings we work out business plans, negotiate contracts, agree to like or dislike each other. Meetings are the milestones for driving co-operation of different parties on their way to identify common goals.

Unfortunately, business is often complex, and many times more than two stakeholders are involved. The icing of the cake are intercultural differences, language barriers and opposing interests which make meetings challenging.

After many years of practice in international business the author has identified a basic set of rules which can help everyone to reduce stress before and during meetings. If you follow this guideline you will be able to put yourself in the driving seat of every meeting, reduce tensions on both sides of the table, and reach your goals.

3-step approach to navigate through (1) Preparation, (2) Execution, and (3) Follow-up of meetings. Each step is again divided into 3-steps which will help you to maximize your results in every phase of a meeting.

1.    Preparation – ‘Maximize results & productivity’

Solid preparation is the ultimate fuel for best meeting results. Oftentimes, we are too busy to take the time to prepare a meeting. And that is exactly your advantage because the other side is as busy as you and, in most cases, shows up unprepared. This is your big chance: Show up well prepared.

Everyone recalls meetings in which you have not been prepared well enough. We said to ourselves: “We just go in, play as it comes and could re-work, if needed, afterwards”. Surprisingly, in many cases this approach works. You have been able to get through the meeting and nobody realized that you have not been prepared at all. Yes, all meetings can be executed that way. But did we maximize our return of showing up?

Too many people have realized that they do not feel bad, when they step out of meetings for which the only thing, they have prepared was their improvisation strategy. After the meeting, in the usual review conversation with their colleagues they say to each other: “That was a good meeting. Let’s move on. What’s next?” This could go on for a while, but that is not what you are paid for.

For what again are you exactly paid for? Definitely not for reaching the consensus with your colleagues on the fact that you had a good feeling while being together in the meeting. Remember, you are paid for generating results. The more effective every meeting is, the more results you can generate. The more results, the more productive you are. Less meetings and more results, this can propel your performance at work.

A thorough preparation of your meetings is the best guarantee to maximize results and thus increase your productivity.

1.1 Meeting presentation:

Start with asking yourself, what are the three main points I want to make/achieve in that meeting – and write them down. Also ask the other side what their meeting objectives are. This enables you prepare the right answers/solutions which are most relevant for them. A solid meeting presentation for e.g. a sales meeting consists of three parts: 1. Business review, 2. Business outlook, 3. Planned initiatives to reach the outlook. Each part of the presentation deserves your attention and your preparation. Always reflect on how the other side is evaluating the business. Put yourself in their shoes and anticipate their objectives of the meeting as precisely as you can.

1.2 Agenda:

Setting up a meeting agenda gives you the opportunity to compile your own topics and pro-actively ask the other side for their topics. Align the meetings participants and include them into the agenda. In case not all participants know each other, add job titles to the names to make roles more transparent. If you set up and distribute the agenda, you have the possibility to formulate the meeting objectives towards your needs. Compiling and sharing the agenda is also your first chance to establish yourself as the driver of the meeting. This is exactly the position which you intent to take over. Driver of the meeting not only with regards to operational execution of the meeting but also taking over the lead to drive results of the meeting into the direction you want them to go.

The 3x3 Meeting Method is a step-by-step guideline to help you take over the driving seat in your meetings.

Become naturally accepted as leader of the meeting by other participants. Drive the meeting into the direction you want to go and generate the best results for you.

1.3 Internal alignment:

Make sure your team and your superior are informed about the meeting date, place, participants, and the planned contents. Share the agenda and your meeting presentation internally – before the meeting – and request for further input or comments. Bosses and colleagues could add valuable input to your preparation. Use this chance to improve your meeting presentation and how to deal with difficult topics. Regard their input as opportunity to optimize your preparation as well as to broaden your horizon and to learn.

2.    Execution – ‘Taking the driving seat’

Are you a natural born salesperson with killer instincts? A die-hard negotiator who brings home the toughest sales meetings and always returns as the winner? Continue reading and you will significantly increase your chances to become more productive, more likely to reach your goals and to increase your work performance.

If you have invested time and effort to prepare a solid presentation for your meeting you are now ready to take over the driving seat in the execution of the meeting. Follow these three simple phases of the meeting to steer the conversion and drive it to success.

2.1 Introduction:

Use small talk for warm-up. The person who leads the small talk is quickly and intuitively accepted by the others as leader of the meeting. There are many sources on the web which could help you to improve your small talk skills. Everything can be learned, and practice will help you to become more familiar with small talk. Your main goal should be to position yourself as naturally accepted leader of the meeting. You are the one, who ends small talk and starts talking business – another signal that you are the leader of the meeting. Be careful to find the right timing for this switch. Since you have compiled and shared the agenda, you deserve to kick off the meeting. Start with sharing today’s meeting objectives, this is a clear statement that you are an organized and well-structured conversation partner. This again will help you to stay in the lead.

2.2 Main part:

You are well prepared since you have taken the effort to prepare a meeting presentation. Try to present your charts first. This prevents you from not having been able to show your slides, once the time is up and the meeting is over. Your presentation will serve as your guide throughout the meeting and will help you to make your three main points. You will also tackle the other sides’ points which you have identified in the preparation phase.

Throughout the meeting, allow for questions, objections and discussion. You are driving the meeting, not dominating the meeting.

Make notes throughout the entire meeting. This will help you to stay in the driving seat until the end of the meeting and even afterwards. Too many people do not take notes. They rather rely on their memory or that the other side will do the job. Your notes will also help you to successfully steer the last phase of the meeting.

2.3 Outro:

Whatever the contents/topics of your meeting have been, and how heated the discussion was, main aim for this phase is a friendly end. Now, your notes which you have taken throughout the meeting will help you to also drive the final phase of the meeting. Again, you will show your determination and structure – which most participants of the meeting willingly will rely on. Summarize the meeting by starting with the topics of consensus and accordance. Recapitulate the agreed next steps (who, what, until when).

Do not forget to ask if you have missed any important points, and if there is a common agreement on your summary. If necessary, amend and correct – also in your notes. You may not have reached an agreement in the positions, but at least you have an agreement on how to proceed from here. This is the perfect timing to end the meeting.

3.    Follow-up – ‘hard & fast’

The follow-up is the most underrated phase of a meeting. Usually the parties are happy that the meeting is over, and the focus is shifted on the next item on the schedule. If you just go from meeting to meeting without any or without enough focus on the follow-up, you will never be able to maximize your results.

The follow-up is the most crucial part to ensure your effectiveness and to drive the business in the direction you want it to go. The final three steps of the 3x3 Meeting Method will show you how you do not lose traction and spirit of the meeting. But before we go into further details of each phase, remember one important punchline: The follow-up must be ‘hard & fast’. ‘Hard’ in terms of being relentless and insisting that each side delivers on what was agreed in the meeting, and ‘fast’ with regards to a short-term action from your side after the meeting.

3.1 Meeting minutes:

No one likes to write the meeting minutes. Ideally, the participants agree at the beginning of the meeting who takes over the responsibility to write and share the minutes. Usually, no one wants to take over this dull task. Therefore, it either remains totally unconsidered or it is delegated to the person with the lowest rank in the hierarchy. In most cases, the decision on the minute writer is made at the end of the meeting – which is the worst timing for it. Trying to compile all important points of a meeting retrospectively is a quite difficult job.

Meeting minutes should be an action-oriented summary of the meeting. The meeting minutes are another great chance for you to really drive the meeting and its outcomes to your best possible advantage. You have decided to take notes throughout the meeting anyway – remember point 2.2? – most likely nobody will reject your offer right at the beginning of the meeting. “Is there anyone who wants to write the minutes? Otherwise, I would offer to do it and share my notes as summary with everyone after the meeting”. You hardly will get any opposition and most people will happily take your offer. This officially makes you the note taker. Nobody will look at you critically, why you write everything down as if you are a taking transcript of the meeting. The contrary is the case, they will look at you pitifully – because you have to do the painstaking work. The good thing is, now you can ask questions of understanding throughout the meeting just to make sure you have understood everything correctly for the minutes.

Since you will be the author of the minutes, you decide on the structure and the contents – this will again help you to better achieve your objectives. I strongly recommend to purely focus on decisions made, activities agreed and next steps. ‘Who does what until when’ – should be your mantra. If any topics were not formulated specifically enough during the meeting, use your minutes and draft a proposal on what you think would work best.

Share the minutes with all participants. Do not forget to also attach your meeting presentation. In your email ask everyone for comments, corrections or amendments – in case you forgot anything. You will see that rarely any opposition will be raised. And even if you get feedback appreciate it and accept the additional input.

3.2 Your to-dos:

Meeting results usually come along with work which is done after the meeting. This is exactly the work which drives outcomes and generates business results for you. Get your to-dos done quickly and thoroughly. Create full transparency on the status of the to-dos and inform the other side about the completion of the tasks allocated to you. This is the best way to remind everyone else on their open to-dos. You could even add a hint in your email: “Could you please provide xyz as agreed in the next steps.” This can help you to bring the other side to focus and prioritize on their to-dos. Play all balls out of your court and then start chasing the other side to accomplish their open points.

3.3 Their to-dos:

Before, during and after the meeting you have shown how important the meeting and the discussed topics are for you. You have been well prepared. With your meeting presentation you have actively steered the meeting to the best possible result. You have taken over the dull task to write the minutes, and you have quickly delivered on your to-dos. This all reduced the workload for all other participants to a minimal amount. Until now, their only investment was to show up and meet with you. They might not care about this imbalanced distribution of work, but they might realize that until this point a lot has been accomplished of what was decided in the meeting. This should propel them now to deliver on their outstanding to-dos in order to move forward.

If this is not convincingly enough you will take out your last weapon: Remember, your follow-up is ‘hard and fast’. Now comes the ‘hard’ into play. You will remain a pain in their neck until they have delivered to their promise. Always try to remain hard in your position, but soft in your tonality. There is a German saying: 'The grass does not grow faster when you pull it.' Take into consideration that everyone has her/his own set of priorities. Your friendly reminders will not bring you much sympathy, but they will eventually help you to increase priority for the agreed to-dos.

Also remember, you are not paid for collecting sympathy points. You are paid to deliver results and if this includes other people to get moving, then you need to push them into the right direction. Be relentless, with your reminders when deadlines are missed. Avoid asking for delivery and setting new deadlines. This will only increase resistance and further reduce the spirit of collaboration. Instead, use the force of self-set deadlines. Ask the other side until when they would be able to deliver. This self-set deadline is harder to be missed, because they have given you their word.

There is always the possibility that certain to-dos are not delivered and your hard and fast follow up does not bring the desired results. There is usually a reason for it if the other side does not stick to the agreed plan. You need to get clarity on these reasons in order to overcome the resistance. This is a good timing for a follow-up meeting which finally could be the key to success. After the meeting is before the meeting.

Good luck with your next meetings. 

About the author:

Hanno Wilczek serves as Regional Director EMEA in the leadership team of the Dornbracht Group, a manufacturer of luxury design bathrooms and spa solutions. He is specialized in leading international teams to develop and execute growth strategies in challenging B2C and B2B market environments. Hanno Wilczek's Performance Leadership approach is based on results-orientation, continuous improvement, and analytic management tools. Hanno Wilczek is 42, married, has two children and lives in Frankfurt am Main, Germany.