3rd Commandment - Take Care of Each Other

In August of 2006, Iva Turner, then the head of the Upper School at Gilman, stood in front of a group of brand new teachers - me included - and said, “We hired you because we know you will be good teachers, not because you are already good teachers.? You have a lot to learn, and you’re going to make a lot of mistakes.? Know that I will ALWAYS have your back.? I will not let students or parents push you around.? So please, do not put me in a position where I have to defend you for something I shouldn’t.”

I’ve been writing about the 4 Commandments of Broughton Football and how they relate to culture and organizational health.? This is a story about the Third - and most important - Commandment: TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.

A few days after this meeting with Iva, I began my teaching career.? I taught three sections of ninth grade English at Gilman, an all boys independent school in Baltimore, MD.? I had very little idea of what I was doing, but I loved the kids, loved teaching, and loved coaching football in the afternoons.?

A few weeks into the first semester, “Meet the Teacher Night” approached.? Most of you are probably familiar with this.? Parents show up in the evening and walk through their childrens’ schedules, spending ten minutes with each of their teachers.? Every school does it.? But I had never been to one, and I went into it without much of a plan other than to tell the parents all about myself and how much I enjoyed teaching their sons.? As a result, the sessions consisted of me saying things like:

• I love teaching your sons.
• I went to Tulane University and played football there.
• I was a very good student, but I took only one English class in 4 years, and I never took an education course.
• I only decided to become a teacher a few months ago after reading a particularly compelling book about the football team at Gilman.
• When asked by one parent about the grammar instruction in class, I responded that I couldn’t remember ever learning any formal grammar rules in high school, so when I had questions, I would ask Liam, a ninth grader in my class who seemed to have mastered all the grammar rules in middle school, if not earlier.

In other words, the overriding message that came across to parents that night was that I had no clue what I was doing and was in no way qualified to teach their sons.? Nevertheless, all of the parents who introduced themselves were incredibly friendly, and I left that evening thinking things had gone exceedingly well.

When I saw Iva in the hallway before school the next morning, she asked me how Meet the Teacher night had gone.? I said something like, “It was great.? Everyone involved with this school is so nice.”? She looked at me quizzically and responded, “Let’s go to my office.? I need to talk to you for a minute.”

I was so na?ve and clueless that I walked into her office thinking that she was going to congratulate me on crushing Meet the Teacher Night and ask me for the secrets to my success.? Instead, she said, “Chris, I received some complaints from parents last night and this morning.? They’re worried that their sons won’t receive an adequate education in English class this year.”? I was stunned.? She went on, “Some of them are upset about spending $30,000 on tuition only for their sons to receive an English teacher with no experience, no preparation, and no training.? One couple is demanding that I switch their son out of your class immediately.”

Before I left, Iva said two more things to me that I’ve never forgotten:?

1. “You can be honest and open without sharing everything about yourself.”
2. “I hired you because I know you’re going to be a great teacher. ? I also hired you knowing that there will be a lot of bumps along the way, especially in your first year.? Remember that I will ALWAYS have your back.? I’m not going to let any parents push you around, and I am not switching anyone out of your class.”

That year was indeed full of mistakes, but it was also one of the most fun years of my life, and I improved immensely as a teacher (thanks in large part to a tremendous mentor, but I’ll save that for another post).? On the day of the final exam, one of my students handed me an envelope.? Inside was a note from his parents.? In the note they revealed that they were the parents who had demanded their son be taken out of my class after witnessing the train wreck that was my Meet the Teacher Night presentation.? But, they went on to say how thankful they now were that Iva denied their request.? Their son had been at Gilman since kindergarten, and my English class was the best class he’d ever had, and I’d sparked a love of reading in him that wasn’t there before.? Iva’s faith in me, a faith that she wisely explained to me on day one and proved to me a few weeks later after Meet the Teacher Night, had been justified.

I spent nine more years at Gilman, and I improved as a teacher every year.? But I also continued to make mistakes, often in front of the entire school while trying to get a laugh at assemblies.? Whenever I crossed a line, Iva would show up in my office later that day and coach me up.? Never once while receiving critical feedback from her did I feel threatened or defensive.? I KNEW that she had my back.? I KNEW her feedback would make me a better teacher and leader.? And I KNEW she cared about me and was Taking Care of Me (3rd commandment).

Gilman is a truly great school, with great administrators and teachers.? I loved working there.? It always felt like family.? And that all hinged upon my faith in my colleagues.? I knew they had my back, and they knew I had theirs.? We were committed to taking care of each other.? We could take risks and strive and grow without fearing that the rug would be pulled out from underneath us.

Iva Turner is the best boss I’ve ever had.? She created the conditions that allowed me to become the very best teacher I could be and to have an absolute blast doing it.? If you’re a leader, and you want your organization to thrive, your first priority must always, always, always be to take care of your people.? Follow the third commandment.