39 Lessons in 39 Years.

Yesterday was my 39th birthday. Yes, you read that right - I am 3-freaking-9 and to celebrate, I am going to share a little of what I learned in my 39th trip around the sun.

It has been an enormous 12 months in the most wonderful way.

Let’s go.

1. Say YES more. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it seems like a bit of a stretch. Say yes to things and figure out what happens next. Because I said YES, this year I have done the following:

Run a marathon. Been on stage at Moulin Rouge in Melbourne. Started new businesses (watch this space!) Started recording a podcast. Joined a netball team. Been front row at the Australian Open. Spoken on stage with Mike Michalowiz, become IG friends with Andrew Daddo. Been to Perth, Sydney New Zealand, Gold Coast, Adelaide… just because I’ve had the opportunity.

2. Take your health seriously. Between my thyroid and my kidneys this last year, my body is giving me a run for my money. You better believe I am taking all the supplements, speaking to specialists eating better and moving my body more than ever before. ?

3. People tell you who they are all the time. Believe them.

4. Spend time with your family. Or whatever ‘family’ means for you. I am lucky to have my parents still with me and I’m grateful I still have them. None of this is permanent. I’ve buried more people than I should have in 12 months.

5. Ask your friends for help when you need it. Airport pickups if they offer. It’s a way better experience than an Uber. Use their talents and skills. Get them to help with projects. Get them to help when they offer. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience to get to work with your friends.

6. The older you get; the more people need the people you knew when you were younger. Go to their kids birthday parties. Go to the footy grand finals parties in their backyards. Go to high school reunions. It’s pretty wonderful.

7. You will get exactly what you need. Sometimes that will be very uncomfortable.

8. Friendships change Don’t expect that every friendship you have will stay the same. Sometimes you change and sometimes they change. Sometimes they aren’t good for you. Sometimes you will drift and come back together. You will drift and you might come back. Overall, things will change. But please remember:?you should never apologise for outgrowing people who had the chance to grow with you.

9. You need to go all in on your dreams. No safety nets. You need to TRUST yourself. This is more a reminder for myself than you but here we are.

10. Alcohol isn’t helping. ? While I would not call myself ‘sober’, I certainly am not drinking anymore and I am much happier for it. It was a simple call for me, I was losing days following having a few drinks because I didn’t feel well enough to do anything and I would lose HOURS watching Netflix, eating junk food and was a version of myself I didn’t like very much.

11. Your Neighbours can end up being your best friends. If there were some MVP awards for neighbours, I would have this in the bag. They took me to the ER. Delivered flowers, cooked meals, groceries, medications and lollies for me on a near daily basis for a month there. It was all very accidental. These micro 5 minute conversations over the course of years really changed everything.

12. You don’t need to tell people what your next move is. ?

13. Micro learning can change everything.

I do Duo Lingo every single day. I do Wordle and Worldle. I read 5 pages of a book every day after lunch on my coffee table. One lesson. One page. One Wordle. They don’t mean anything – but every day for a year is 365 days is HUGE progress. ??

14. Work travel flipping sucks I’m sick of pretending this isn’t true. Don’t get me wrong there are amazing moments - climbing mountains, hikes, meeting great people, seeing new places – but… it’s working in airports, not choosing your own accommodation, eating terrible food in airports and missing your life at home. ??

15. If nothing else – just WAIT If there is a few summary of the lessons from the last few years, it’s patience and learning to wait. Things are bad? Just wait. Things have never been better? Just wait… Heartbroken? Just wait.

It will get better and it will get worse and it will change– time is your greatest ally. Just wait.

16. How someone treats you is how they feel about themselves.

17. Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

18. Leave yourself alone.? Just for a little bit – stop criticising yourself or berating yourself. You need to be your own biggest supporter.

19.? I left some people in the last 12 months and that was incredibly painful to do. I pray for them every day. I pray for their mum, their kids – I pray for the person they have become. At night, when I hand the prayers to God, I say, 'Make sure they get there safely but don't tell them who it's from.'

I can still love them and not have them be part of my life anymore.

20. Intentionally act like the person you want to become.

Next time you are feeling out of it, or lazy – channel ‘That Girl’ energy and make a pretend game and do what she will do. You will 100% get more done.

21. YOU NEED TO SHOW UP AS HER - BEFORE YOU BECOME HER.

This remains SO true. This will hit some harder than others, but I think we all need to be reminded of this at some point - you need to show up as her HER before you become HER. You have to show up as HER on the days that you don't feel like HER. You have to show up as HER when the whole world tells you that you aren't HER. You have to be HER. Then you will be her.

22. Did you save money this week? Move it so you can't spend it.? 1% into an investment account. Don’t look at it.

23. The only people who get upset about your boundaries are people who directly benefit from you not having any.

24. At some point, you will need let go of your old self. At some point in your life, you will realise that the old version of you is not helping you move forward, and you will need to let your old self go. Saying goodbye to your old self is really hard.

They are the person who got you where you are. They are one who got you to hell and back and made sure you survived. That version feels like a bad ass. But that version of you who got you here needs you to let go. You need to purge the identity they held and come into the new person you are.

You worked so hard to be this version, and you deserve to thrive during this time.

25. After a lot work, I genuinely don’t give a f**k what other people say about me.

26. Creative work can be just as rewarding as your career. In very related news, my show is on at Melbourne Fringe Festival from 15-20th October if you’d like to come. It’s about female murderers. ?

27. Applying for business awards is super fucking tedious but you have to do it.

28. Sunday Scary Reset Every Sunday I go through a really difficult process of setting up my life for the next week. I check the following: - Do I have food in the fridge and cupboards - Have I cleaned the house and done the laundry for the next week - Skincare – Self care time scheduled in- Diary up to date – Work squared away. And I go and actually do it.

No more scaries.

29.? Set timers for all your social media.

No more than 30 mins a day on each of the accounts. For some of you, that’s 2 Hours! You’ll be fine. Retrain your brain.

30. It’ll pass.

It does.

31. Soul Exploration. When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life – it’s that one of your core needs isn’t being met and it is usually exploration. Everything about your life and even your body grows – and your soul needs growth too. The only way you get it is by moving or something more than what you are doing now.

32. I would also pick the bear

We answer from experience, to women this is not just metaphors.

Forensics show in every case a bear was not the cause.

33. ?I will romanticise my life Matthew I caught up with a friend from my past life of law enforcement for lunch around Christmas time. We had lunch and I paid with a voucher that the owner had given me previously. He walked me back to my apartment and started asking me when I was going to ‘get a real house’ and ‘real job’. Just because my life doesn’t look like a traditional 9-5 with a husband and 2.5 kids, ?doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely incredible. This is my life and I will romanticise the hell out of it.

34. If it’s not THIS, it is something BETTER. Once I believe this, I stop attaching to the outcome I wanted and knew it was for something better.

35. You will ALWAYS need to do what is best for you. Even when it feels awful.

36. “I am the backup.” I work hard because I have no one to fall back on. I can’t make a mess of this.

37. If it’s not fun – I’m not doing it. It doesn’t mean I don’t take it seriously. I just don’t know when it became mandatory for it all to be boring. I want to have fun doing it.

38. I’m ready to meet the love of my life now. It’s taken a while to get here. But yeah. I’m ready. Send your single mates my number.

39. I am SO excited for the next 12 months.

JA x