#38 Listening: The Art of The Unspoken Love Language

Good morning,

I hope you're ready to start on a week full of good news. You deserve it!???

Last week, something quite lovely happened. Someone told my sister that they saw me as a really good listener. (thank you ??) It got me thinking about the ways we express love and connection.?

I've written about the "5 love languages " a few times already, and while I hold that concept in high regard, I've come to believe there are more languages, some hidden in plain sight. One of my personal love languages? Active listening.?

It's beautifully straightforward. When I listen and try to understand someone without weaving my narrative into their words, that's my way of saying, "I care." And when I find myself on the other side of that conversation, I feel genuinely cherished. ??

I'm starting to believe listening is a love language in its own right, just as vital as any other.?

But -active listening-, like any language, is a skill to be honed, not just an innate gift. ??

Receiving that compliment about my listening skills triggered some reflection: am I listening as actively as possible? ??

And I'll ask you that question, too. Are you??

I would like to challenge you to actively listen more today. Even if you already consider yourself a good listener.????

What works for me: When someone speaks, I try to shift my focus solely onto them. I hold back the urge to interrupt and instead rephrase what they are saying and ask if I'm understanding them correctly. It's a way not only to demonstrate that I'm fully present but also to encourage the speaker to open up more.?

You're possibly thinking --> "If I'm thinking about how to listen, I'm not really listening." Well, I agree! But it's like flexing a new muscle at the gym; it takes practice to get stronger. Rephrasing does help to stay in the moment.?

Another piece of the puzzle? Let your phone take a breather (pinky promise - it'll survive without you ??), close those extra tabs on your computer, and lock eyes with the person across you. By minimizing distractions, you'll go deeper into the conversation and remain fully engaged.?

And last but not least!

Instead of sticking to plain old yes-or-no queries, trigger your inner curiosity with questions like "What," "How," "Why," or "Tell me about." For example, "What inspired you to feel that way?" or "How did you navigate that tricky situation?" These questions invite the speaker to share their thoughts and experiences in vivid detail, helping to foster a more profound dialogue. ??

How active listening helps me?

• It strengthens my relationships: Listening builds trust and empathy, laying the foundation for strong personal and professional connections.?
• It enhances understanding: Improved listening skills allow me to step into others' shoes, reducing misunderstandings and potential conflicts.?
• It boosts Problem-Solving: Sharpening my listening abilities lets me extract crucial information, making me a more adept problem-solver and decision-maker.
• It fosters Learning: Active listening serves as my key to absorbing fresh ideas and insights, nurturing both personal and professional growth.?
• From a marketing perspective - it really helps me understand a brand better - what is the tone of voice - is it a formal or an informal brand? What kind of words does it use - does it have more of a female energy or a male energy - what kind of person would the brand be to go to a bar with on Friday night - etc?

So, are you ready for a week of strengthening your listening muscles? I'm ready for it.?

Love you lots,

Issy???

PS/ For the Dutch/Flemish readers - I went to the book launch of 'Zelfzorg voor Ondernemers ' by Gert Gijbels & Elke Struys - an interesting take on how to better care for yourself as an entrepreneur, with very actionable tips & and tricks.?