38 Lessons In 38 Years...

As I celebrated my 38th birthday this year I took the time to reflect on some of the key lessons I have learned and wanted to share five of them here…

1. I’ve learned to be vulnerable. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be vulnerable and you will feel incredibly uncomfortable. Thinking about the definition of vulnerable as being ‘exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally’. Is it any wonder most of us are so fearful to be vulnerable?! The process will leave you feeling raw and naked. You will want to run for the hills or hide in a cave. You may even want to bury your head in the sand. But do it anyway. It will open your world, your connections and your growth to another level.
2. I’ve learned that I am an introvert and I am okay with that. I don’t need to be around people all the time. I love my own company and have NEVER felt lonely by myself but have often felt alone when with the wrong group of people. I now recognise that I need to ALWAYS factor in time for myself, to rest and recharge by myself so that I can give my full energy to others that I serve, I am in relationships with and interact with. 
3. I have learned that this present moment is all that truly exists. All those concerns and plans about the future, the replaying of things that have happened in the past, it’s all in our heads. It serves no purpose other than distract from fully living right now. I’m learning (it’s a work in progress! Perhaps a lifetimes work?!) to let go of all that, and stay focused on what I am doing, right at this moment. Eckart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’ which I read this year really brought this message home to me – I can not recommend it enough. It’s a life enhancing & life changing book. 
4. I have learned to surrender expectations. When we have an expectation of something, a person, an experience, a holiday destination, a job, a book , a film – anything really – you are putting it into a predetermined, pre-judged box that has very little to do with reality. You are setting up an ideal version of how it should be and then trying to fit the actual, raw, honest reality into this ideal box. You will be disappointed. Instead, I try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.
5. I have learned that Eleanor Roosevelt was SPOT ON when she said ‘small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.’ I understand there is value in gossip – it can help you make friends and you can bond over something very quickly, but that is not how I choose to live my life. If I am in company and the only thing to discuss is other people, for me that is a sure sign that I have outgrown the relationship and the dynamics of that person. I want to discuss bigger issues – world affairs, spirituality, books, ideas, that’s what gives me energy and makes me feel good. Gossiping is the equivalent of consuming junk food, it may feel good in the moment but always feels greasy, uneasy and uncomfortable later. 

If you have enjoyed these you can read the other 33 lessons on the blog > https://www.asianwomenmeanbusiness.com/38-lessons-in-38-years/