365 Days Values Living

“Daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about the hard things”. ?- Brené Brown

After reading Kristen Hadeed’s article titled 365 Days Alcohol-Free, I thought to myself, “What could I do for 365 days in 2021 that would challenge and grow me?” 

Since 2010, the start of my personal growth journey, I have learned to live with more intention. What that means is taking the time to self reflect at the end of the year and from those reflections, create my vision for the following year. This annual tradition has allowed me to learn and grow in ways I could have never imagined.

In November 2019, I created my biggest vision yet for the upcoming year 2020. Instead of a year-end reflection, I reflected on my whole life in its entirety and came to the realization that it was time to move on from SPARK Creations & Company Inc., a training and development organization that I co-founded almost a decade ago, that inspires people and leaders to create meaningful cultures and workplaces. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. However, when I visualized how I would end my professional career, I was ready to take everything that I have learned from partnering with 100+ organizations in 7 industries, and see what is possible again in creating impact from the inside of an organization.

Then COVID-19 arrived. My vision was simply a printed canvas board that I hung up on my home office wall. I looked at it from time to time while I became more resistant to any thought about my vision and goals. As the news continued to encourage and then enforce physical distancing, I could only focus on the moment of the day. “Keep breathing” was my new mantra. Consequently, as the weeks of uncertainty with the virus grew stronger, I began to reconnect with my personal core values. From past experience, I knew that my values would help me navigate my emotions through the pandemic and keep me grounded. As a result of living my values almost daily throughout this past year, I became stronger and more resilient.

So my vision and theme for 2021 are to continue to build my resilience fuelled with infinite love, which means living my values for 365 days. Rather than giving up something for the year, I am making a promise to myself to intentionally exemplify my core values every day. How will I live my values for 365 days? Let’s start with defining what values are and why it matters.

Why Values Matter

It’s no secret to those that know me well that values are a significant part of my life. I define values as what matters most to us and what we stand for in life. Values are innate and are a part of our being, and as we go through life, we uncover what we hold true to our hearts. Because values are non-negotiable, we generally have an emotional reaction when our values are misaligned. Therefore, values are like guideposts that help us make choices that feel good and are good for us.

The first time I rediscovered my values, it changed everything. I gained the confidence and courage to speak up at work, especially when I did not agree with a decision or wanted to share a different perspective. My newly found voice led me to a promotion to a senior executive role as Vice President of HR. I then started a side hustle that turned into a company (SPARK Creations) with 7 team members. I also called off my wedding that could have been a second failed marriage (I didn’t know my values the first time). Knowing I could make choices for myself was a result of finally understanding my values.

It was so life-changing that Rediscover Your Core became our flagship workshop for all of our training sessions at SPARK Creations. It’s one of the key elements that I start with when I’m coaching and guiding individuals, teams, and organizations to lead and live more authentically. In my new role as Head of HR, Vancouver and Los Angeles at DNEG, the first team building activity I shared with my team was on defining their personal core values.

What if I don’t know my values?

Not knowing our values is like traveling without a map. We will eventually get to our destination and sometimes with the help of others providing directions. However, it may take a little longer to get there. Having the ability to clearly articulate what we value in life makes it easier and faster to make decisions and build trust and connection with ourselves and others. If I know what matters most to you and you know what matters most to me, then we can respect and honour each other wholeheartedly. As a result, we co-create belonging together.

Now before I can start living into my values, which Brené Brown, one of my favourite thought leaders today, defines as “we do more than profess our values, we practice them”, I need to clearly define what my values mean to me and how these values show up as behaviours. 

If you’re ready to define or refine your personal values, watch this or read Brené’s Dare to Lead book and the chapter on “Living Into Our Values”.

Operationalizing My Values

In order to design activities that would support me to live into my values daily, I completed the activity in Brené’s Dare to Lead Read-Along Workbook on Page 30 to guide me on operationalizing my values. For each value, I have created a value statement and three behaviours - how these values show up for me. I also share an example of a time when I was fully living into this value in 2020.

My five core values are the following:

Value 1: Strong Heart

Value Statement: Choosing to love me first so I can love others more completely.

Behaviours:

• Creating space for self-care
• Taking the time to rest and rejuvenate
• Practicing self-compassion and self-trust

Example: I completed two 100 day wellness challenges (thanks Caroline Stokes for leading these groups) and two 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs with Imagine Mindfulness.

Value 2: Love First

Value Statement: Leading with love and loving by example.

Behaviours:

• Choosing love over fear
• Being accountable to myself and others
• Leading with an infinite mindset

Example: I patiently waited 10 months for the ideal role to make the transition from entrepreneur to in-house HR leader with DNEG. It was worth the wait!

Value 3: Guardian of People

Value Statement: Ensuring everyone I meet feels seen, heard, and cared for.

Behaviours:

• Listening with an open heart
• Creating opportunities to elevate others
• Sharing my love and appreciation

Example: I started mentoring again with Dress for Success Vancouver and also three new individuals during the pandemic. I became stronger lifting others up!

Value 4: Connecting Humanity

Value Statement: Cultivating belonging moments.

Behaviours:

• Elevating the BIPOC community as an antiracist
• Developing my cultural intelligence
• Sharing my personal story and the life stories of others

Example: I started my life long journey as an antiracist for our BIPOC community by educating myself in Black American and Indigenous Canada history as well as amplifying our Black and Brown voices in our community.

Value 5: Dancer of Life

Value Statement: Creating WOW experiences.

Behaviours:

• Going above and beyond
• Finding magical moments in the ordinary
• Keeping it light with fun and play

Example: During the pandemic, Trent and I created weekly themed dinner parties for just the two of us. I also held my first Zoom birthday party on April 8, 2020 with 25 of my closest friends and we danced together.

Living Into My Values

Now that I have defined my values and behaviours, it’s time to come up with daily activities that will bring my values to life. To fulfill my 2021 vision, I will commit to making the following inspired actions a daily practice for 365 Days Values Living.

Strong Heart

• Meditate for a minimum of 10 minutes
• Workout for a minimum of 30 minutes
• Practice gratitude and visualization

Love First

• Express empathy and compassion
• Strengthen curiosity by continuing to learn, asking more questions and self-reflecting
• Pause before reacting or responding

Guardian of People

• Be fully present and actively listen
• Coach and support the development of others starting with my HR team, the Leaders and teams at DNEG
• Take the time to understand the specific appreciation languages of those I interact with and share more love

Connecting Humanity

• Increase self-awareness and commitment as an antiracist by continuing to educate and share the learning
• Co-create belonging through storytelling
• Continue to support and amplify the voices of our BIPOC and underrepresented community

Dancer of Life

• Celebrate often especially the small stuff
• Share random acts of kindness
• Integrate fun and play whenever possible

Staying True To My Vision

Over the years, I’ve experimented with a few methods for staying on track with my vision and goals. From reading books like Essentialism and Deep Work, to attending workshops with Tony Robbins and Kristin Constable, and leading fifteen SPARK Weekend Retreats, I’ve learned that we are all different and the only way to discover what works best for each of us is to try the tool and then reflect on our experience. 

Here is my personal strategy to fulfill my vision of living my values as a daily practice for 365 days.

Strategy 1: Create a Trust Agreement. A Trust Agreement is an understanding and commitment to building a trusting partnership. Usually, I create Trust Agreements with others. However, I also believe that trust starts with us, which I refer to as Self Trust. To create a personal Trust Agreement, reflect on the following questions:

• What does trust mean to me?
• What does it mean to trust myself?
• What will having full trust in myself give me?
• What can I create for myself and others when I trust myself completely?

Then write a list of affirmations or words to hold yourself accountable to your building trust for yourself. Here’s an image of my Trust Agreement.

Strategy 2: Write a clear and inspiring vision and then share it. One of my key learnings on visioning is the power of visualization, which is a technique that uses visual imagery to communicate a message. When we are able to articulate our vision in words and images, and can imagine our vision as if it has already happened using our five senses, the process of reflecting and choosing what to focus on is part of manifesting our dreams. I have written my vision in various ways including vision boards, The Painted Picture, vision statements, and through blogs like this. I’ve also led visioning workshops using the Act As If technique or what we renamed as the DeLorean Effect (inspired by the movie Back to the Future), where leaders and their teams role play in a future date and time as if they have achieved their vision. Writing our vision makes it real and it’s a great tool to reference daily and throughout the year. What also fuels my motivation is to share my vision with others. Sharing my vision publicly makes me feel uncomfortable, which for me, means that I’m on the right track.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” - Oprah Winfrey

Strategy 3: Design and consistently follow a daily ritual. Starting our day off right is a key element to achieving our vision. This past year when I started my new role at DNEG, I decided to stop my morning ritual. Without this time and space to get grounded, I was not able to manage my emotions and said yes when I really wanted to say no. I ended up working longer hours and weekends for the first two months. The result? Burnout. As soon as I restarted my morning ritual, I could breathe again. My energy came back. I was no longer working from an empty cup. It’s taken me 10 years to fine-tune my daily ritual. I’ve tried rituals inspired by other people to design the program that works best for me. Take the time to reflect on these questions and start developing a ritual that works for you. My current morning ritual is below.

• Describe a time when you felt you were in the zone. What happened and how did you create that moment?
• What time of day are you most productive?
• What are your strengths?
• How do you want to feel when you have achieved your vision?

Strategy 4: Surround yourself with other values-driven individuals. As much as it may look like I’m always on the right path, I too, have off days. This past year was especially harder being away from family and friends. To get through these low days, I ask for support from those that know me and want the best for me. I call these people my love circle. When I feel triggered or lost, I simply pick up the phone and ask for support. There’s strength in asking for help and as humans, we are stronger together.

Strategy 5: Practice self-compassion. Even if my love circle are there to lift me up, love starts with me. Living my values is a full-circle experience. It’s not about perfection, it’s about allowing myself to just be. I will wake up every morning with the intention to live my values every day and that includes knowing and feeling what is best for me at this moment. And that is infinite love.

No one could have predicted 2020. And frankly, 2021 will be much of the same as we go through the second wave of the pandemic.

What I know for sure is that living my values will give me the strength to endure and adapt to what life gives me, and my vision of 365 Days Values Living is the key to making 2021 a loving and fulfilling year.

Special thanks to my love circle (you know who you are) for sharing your love and strength during 2020.

Let’s make 2021 another unforgettable year!

Love,

Lorie

#365daysvaluesliving #resilience #infinitelove

Resources:

Year End Reflection

New Year Intentions

SPARK Creations Resources

Dare To Lead Hub

Dare To Lead Read-Along Workbook