35 life and career lessons at 35

Today I turned 35. It’s a transition year — old enough to have experience and still young enough to not know what I don't know (yet).

These are my 35 top lessons from the past 35 years.

Although some of these are well-trodden platitudes, they’re the ones that have particularly impacted my life and career (and, let’s face it, there’s a reason they are platitudes).

1. Success is a choice - how much do you want it?
2. Doing nothing is a choice, too — possibly the hardest to make! Being “busy” isn’t the flex it seemed at 21.
3. There is no right answer to most of the tough questions. Life isn’t a test. There's no scantron. The sooner you realize there isn’t a right answer, the sooner you can let go of past decisions.
4. There are three great skills that trump all else: Sales, writing, and speaking (read: Communications).
5. You will always be happy you said yes to the event you don’t want to attend.
6. Say yes to one more glass.
7. Build a loyal following by leading with generosity in time and energy (note this doesn’t say “big following”).
8. It’s ok to eat by yourself (sorry Never Eat Alone fans).
9. There’s been too many times I’ve wished I spent more time just hanging out. Despite knowing the game isn’t a competition to be the busiest, it may always feel like it is. For better or worse.
10. If it is important to you, you will make time for it.
11. The work will save you. Or, as I learned it, take care of the work, and the work will take care of you.
12. Don’t rush. Experience matters.
13. No one else cares as much as you.
14. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
15. Fractional efforts lead to fractional results.
16. Prioritize people, even when it’s harder than doing it yourself. 95% of the time, working with, through, and for people is the secret to success (see also: if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.).
17. Say yes and figure it out.
18. Also, mental note: Learn to say no.
19. Tell a good story. It matters more than most else (Also see: You can’t rush experience).
20. You will outpace old friends, and old friends will outpace you. It doesn’t change your friendship.
21. You will regret the things you never did more than the things you did and failed.
22. You will become who you surround yourself with. It’s real, for better and for worse.
23. You can’t be a prophet in your own town (see: Luke 4:24).
24. You only go around once.
25. The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The second best time is today.
26. Certain jobs will be inherently “cool,” and it’s easy to get lost in the halo effect of the job. The sooner you can separate yourself from the job, the more you’ll realize what matters (see: No one cares as much as you).
27. This isn’t permanent (or: This, too, shall pass).
28. Quitting has a great cost, though there is also an opportunity cost to not quitting. What is the marginal utility of another day invested? Another month? Another year?
29. Yet, err on the side of perseverance.
30. Life’s barely long enough time get good at one thing. Be careful what you get good at.
31. Success is at the intersection of what you’re good at, what you’re passionate about, and what you’ll be paid for.
32. Worrying is preparation.
33. Ask. Ask for what you want. Ask for what you need. It’s true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
34. More is not more.
35. Embrace uncertainty. All the best opportunities have come from uncertainty.

Are there any that particularly resonate with you? Anything to add?

Leave it in the comments below.