33 Things I wish I Knew when I was Younger

I have been reflecting a lot this week about my professional and personal growth. There were a lot of mistakes I made. I would be a billionaire if I were paid a Euro for every one of them. These mistakes also gave me experience for life. That's why I don't regret any of them. There were some mistakes that happened more than once and caused unnecessary suffering. Sometimes I was blind, ignorant, or stubborn!

Today I share 33 things I wish I knew when I was younger.

Younger means from when I was in high school to just a few months ago. It's never too late to reinvent yourself!

I've tried my best to keep it simple and light. According to my definition of light, I mostly succeeded. However, I started this newsletter to help people become comfortable looking into their shadow sides without judgement, but with curiosity. We are often made to feel wrong for our past mistakes, for things we don't like about ourselves or for things we have done that we aren't proud of.

This is one of the leading causes for invisible suffering which keeps us below our fullest potential in life.

It is my hope that my reflections to my younger self will provide those who need it with a template to integrate their shadow sides, stop feeling guilty or stuck in emotions of shame and live life with less emotional baggage.

"Nadja, why are you writing to yourself and not to us?''

Advice is mostly about having a conversation with our past selves converted into 'How to live your life' for others. It's not about telling people what to do, but creating aha moments that resonate with them.

Hopefully, reading my reflections creates a space where you can reflect with curiosity instead of judgement.

Let's dive into it!

1. Pay less attention to other people's opinions and more attention to your own. You matter, your voice matters. You're important, no matter how young you are.
2. Be humble. Don't try to know it all, and don't assume you know everything. Learn when to speak up, and when to sit in silence and take it all in.
3. Forgive yourself for not telling your dad everything before he died. You're his offspring, he loves you no matter what.
4. Let people underestimate you. Your mission is not to impress people. Your mission is to help people. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Be your truest self, my dear.
5. Study self-regulation in detail. Not everything or everyone who shines is actually bright and worthwhile pursuing.
6. Read the f*king manual, please! You wasted so much time by being stubborn instead of just reading the instructions.
7. Harassment at work is not OK. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, no matter your status, function or background. While I am proud of how you have healed on your own, I wish you had sought help and spoken up.
8. Know the difference between attachment and love. When you are loved, you are accepted for who you are, regardless of your flaws. Love doesn't try to change you, it just loves you. Attachment tries to control and change who you are so it can feel better about itself.
9. Forgive others, many people who have hurt you didn't mean to. Hurt people hurt people. Let it go, release and move forward with more wisdom.
10. Forgive yourself if you've hurt someone with your words or actions. You acted out of wound, not worth. You do better now that you know better.
11. When people show you who they are, believe them. The first time, not the 29th time!
12. Making mistakes is okay. Feeling embarrassed for a while is okay. Dwelling on your mistakes is not OK. Get back up and keep going. The mistakes you make in life are your stepping stones to a more wiser life.
13. Not all women who claim to be feminist actually care about equal rights or building a brighter future for younger women. Learn about the Queen B syndrome and pay attention to character, not gender.
14. Declutter your environment, in your home and in your office space. Your brain will thank you for it!
15. Not everyone will be happy for your success. Some will even rejoice in your failures. That's ok. With age, you will learn to like people in smaller doses.
16. Don't be afraid of NOs. They're a great motivator for your growth. It only takes one window to open up no matter how many doors closed in your face.
17. Don't lose faith in the goodness of people. Not everyone you will meet has an agenda. The more you learn to trust yourself, the more peace of mind you will have.
18. When people walk out of your life, LET THEM GO. Respect yourself enough to never chase people who don't see your value.
19. Let your personality shine. Those who are blinded by your light can buy a pair of sunglasses. Those who suffer in the dark will feel inspired to shine their own light.
20. You're a strong person. As soon as you thought you couldn't handle more, life threw you more bricks and stones. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you kept getting up. However, just because you are strong, it does not mean you don't deserve help. Ask for it sooner.
21. You should never feel ashamed of who you are and what you stand for. It's not about you being better than anyone else, nor is it about anyone else being better than you. Everyone is on their unique journey in this life.
22. Stop overthinking. I repeat, stop overthinking. Trust Nike and Just Do It.
23. You will work with men who will try to put you down. Close your eyes, breath and remember the power that resides within you. No one can make you feel less without your permission.
24. Read more books. It's okay to read more novels and romances than self-help books. You don't always need to grow yourself.
25. Don't believe everything you see on social media. Many people try to keep up an appearance as a means to feel that they are enough, as a means to increase their cashflow and as a means to fit in with the latest trend. Don't judge them, and don't follow their footsteps either. Be true to who you are.
26. It is your character, not your body, that makes you beautiful. Don't let the bullying of the past define your idea of beauty. In a world where appearances seem to matter more, let your character shine even more.
27. Fall in love with the simple things in life. Real magic happens when you find peace within yourself, not in faraway exotic places. When you feel lost, tired or alone, come back to the home that is within you.
28. It is ok to rest. It is ok to stay in bed for hours and sleep in. It is ok to feel bored. It is ok to just be. We are called human being for a reason. Find your balance between action and rest without guilt.
29. Go the extra mile, underpromise and over deliver. Become excellent at your craft. People notice excellence. People notice the extra mile. Work from your heart and people will fall in love with your mission.
30. Never try to convince someone of your side of the story. Sometimes people will go at great lengths to see and feel what they want, so they can stay comfortable with their perception of truth.
31. Build a strong foundation of self, and become the sun. When you are the sun, you no longer depend on outside conditions to make you shine. You can do that all on your own.
32. When you set your prices, double them. When people ghost or refuse to pay you your day rate, stand your ground. There are people less qualified than you who charge 3x more than you. Focus on adding value, and money will flow.
33. Appreciate more. Say thank you more. Thank you for waking up. Thank you for having a roof over my head. Thank you for clean water. It is the simple things that we take for granted that are someone else's dream.

Hopefully my 33 reflections inspire you to let go of what you should have done, did not do, or think you still need to do.

It can be hard to reflect and make sense of our experience and deal with uncomfortable emotions at the same time.

When you do go on this internal journey, you'll find freedom in knowing you did your best with what you knew and you can always try again.

Let go, forgive, and rise with courage.

Thank you ?? ????