33 Insights from the Duet Voices: Issue 6

The new format Duet Journal newsletter contains 33 quotes of the week from the Duet Voices - 100+ leaders from wellness and coaching.

I have simplified this newsletter format as I will be starting another on Tuesdays. Something that combines my past and present, with a bit about journaling.

The Duet Voices are amazing. Enjoy!

Let me know which quote you enjoyed in the comments!

My Fave Five:

“She sat at the back and they said she was shy, She led from the front and they hated her pride, They asked her advice and then questioned her guidance, They branded her loud, then were shocked at her silence, When she shared no ambition they said it was sad, So she told them her dreams and they said she was mad, They told her they’d listen, then covered their ears, And gave her a hug while they laughed at her fears, And she listened to all of it thinking she should, Be the girl they told her to be best as she could, But one day she asked what was best for herself, Instead of trying to please everyone else” (first half of a poem by Becky Hemsley)?Elaine Champion

“Who do you think you are?” Six words that can cut us down in seconds. Have you ever… Heard that said about you? Thought you’d heard it? Said that to yourself? It sucks. It hurts. It’s like a dagger to the heart. Thinking logically, you know you’re … Great at what you do. Needed & wanted. Respected. Unique. Loved. But these words said out loud or internally can have us breaking down and questioning everything. And oh hello, here comes our old enemies… Imposter syndrome and self-doubt. The inner voice takes opinion as fact, and we tell ourselves that we’re… Over-confident & arrogant. Unworthy & replaceable. Unlikeable & unlovable. You go from “I know my strength” to “I must be something different.” Enough. You are whoever you want to be. You can do whatever you want. You can be whatever you want. You can pivot whenever. You are uniquely you. Laura Joy

Apparently only 10 people will cry at your funeral... Ten people. If you're scared to show up as yourself in this world because of what others may think, this should be your biggest wake up call ever! You're on this planet to live your life on your terms. Do not carry the weight of other's opinions... Do not worry about trolls or haters... because they won't be the people crying for you. Look after your loved ones, look after yourself and show up in your beautiful, unfiltered glory! And if you're slightly feral, you get double bonus points!?Rhoda Cameron

If I could sit down with my younger self, there is so much I’d want to share. I'd take her in my arms and hug her, showing her how to caress and comfort her body, how wonderful to be touched for soothing, not for giving. I'd show her how to project her voice, reminding her she isn’t here for entertainment, or to please. I’d tell her that “no” is a full sentence. I'd sit down with her and write, teaching her the language of self-compassion, so she could self-motivate and inspire through encouragement rather than self-criticism and shame. If only. If only we weren’t taught covertly, overtly, so many rigid unspoken rules about who we should be, how we should look and how we should act to avoid rejection. Tara O’Donoghue

The biggest mindset shift for leaders? It's not about you. Yes, obvious, I know. But I mean on a deeply, almost metaphysical level. When we zoom so far out that we're a tiny speck of dust in a massive universe, things look very, very different. Coming back down to earth you realise that if Betty in procurement thinks you're a d**k because you tried to negotiate a pay rise for your entire team and you got a bit passionate... It doesn't really matter. (You're a good boss.) Now go get a snack. Tanya Edgar

“Perfect is the enemy of Done." Hands up if you've ever postponed a dream waiting for that elusive "right" time? Let's be real: It'll never feel 100% perfect. There will always be something… A course to finish. More experience to gain. The stars to align just so. But the fastest way to succeed? Start now. Figure it out as you go. You can't learn to swim by reading about strokes. You can't master a new language without speaking it. You can't reach career goals by staying stuck in neutral. Jill Avey

Gallup’s 2024 “State of the Global Workplace” report paints a sobering picture and calls for urgent action: 41% of employees report high levels of stress, and poor management is a major contributor, increasing stress by 60% compared to effective leadership. 20% of employees feel daily loneliness, with remote workers being the most impacted by isolation. Only 34% of employees are thriving in their overall well-being. A staggering 62% of employees are disengaged at work, costing the global economy $8.9 trillion. Paola Brignoli

Many of us have heard the saying, "Knowledge is power," but the real impact of knowledge only unfolds when it's applied and shared. As an introvert, it can be easy to fall into the habit of keeping your thoughts and ideas to yourself, especially in environments that reward those who are more outspoken. But imagine: The missed opportunities. The innovative solutions that never saw the light of day. The collaborations that could have taken off. The personal growth that might have occurred if you had voiced your opinions more often. For many introverts, the hesitation to speak up isn't due to a lack of valuable insights, but rather down to fear of being misunderstood or overshadowed. Sarah Bryer

Have thoughts like these? “I must be the best at what I do and be outstanding or I just won’t bother. Thoughts get in the way of actions. I am worthy only if I am successful and others think highly of me. I feel empty and depressed inside but I don’t dwell on this or talk about it. I don’t like closeness or intimacy as others may see that I am not as perfect as they believe me to be. Peace and happiness are short lived and dependent on brief celebrations of achievement. You can be successful, but be unfulfilled or happy. Lose touch with deeper feelings and sense of self. Lose ability to connect with others.” Please, talk to someone about burnout and your mental health. Krissi Carter

You may be finding yourself at a crossroad in your leadership journey, and perhaps you are not sure, confident or have enough trust in yourself to accept the invite and take the leap. Instead, you feel the pull to go back to what feels comfortable: Your inner wisdom is nudging you to push through resistance and join the dance. Only by embracing the resistance, can you develop a deeper knowledge of what is happening beyond the visible, to let go of old paradigms and transform your relationship with the change challenge. Monica Dettori

“You need to push yourself more” is keeping you from making real progress. You're saying yes to every opportunity, scattering your attention like confetti. You're juggling multiple projects, drowning in overwhelm. You're using shame and guilt as motivators, perpetuating a cycle of never feeling good enough. Sound familiar? For years, I believed success meant pushing myself to the brink. It cost me my mental health, time, and ironically, my progress. I thought more hours equalled more success. I was dead wrong. The reality is… It leads to burnout, overwhelm, and wildly inconsistent results. Christian Ehmen

Anger is actually a mask. It’s covering up wounds, limiting beliefs and trauma that are waiting to be healed. Anger is like a bright flashing neon sign telling you that you have work to do! So instead of running from our anger or believing that the fuel for it lies outside of us - because of a world event or because of what the in-laws have done or because someone cut your car off at the intersection - go within, work out what’s happening for you and focus on that. Because the world will keep doing its thing. It’s our job to manage our emotional state and wellbeing. Nobody controls that but us. Donna Elliott

How well do we know ourselves and our bodies, and use that data to track what works and what doesn't work for us? Then ensuring that we have the energy and disposition to achieve the things we set out to do. So, in a world that is data obsessed right now, what data do you collect about yourself? Do you know what you need? I don't think a lot of us do. I don't think we pay enough attention to ourselves or give enough thought to being intentional when it comes to our performance in work or life. Gemma Ellison

3 types of change you need to know about. When you work directly with the subconscious mind to upgrade blocks, limiting beliefs and unwanted automatic behaviours/habits, three types of change can happen. Immediate: You feel a massive shift right away - immediate changes in your physiology, thoughts and behaviours right in the session. Incremental: You see consistent shifts every day, or over time. Retroactive:You don’t see the shifts right away and then one day you suddenly look back and see all of the things that are different in your life. Sophie Fraser

There are currently 5.7 million unpaid carers in the UK. There are also 1.3 million "sandwich carers" in the UK. Here's a simple breakdown of who these carers are: Who is a Sandwich Carer? A sandwich carer is someone who works full-time while also caring for both their children and elderly parents, grandparents, or other older relatives and friends. A sandwich carer could also be a parent who is caring for their children with disabilities or special needs. Who is an Unpaid Carer? An unpaid carer is anyone who looks after a friend or family member who can't manage without their help because of illness, disability, mental health issues, or addiction. Silvia Freeman

"How long can we really continue to blame Covid for poor behaviour from students?" A year or so ago, a teaching professional said that we should stop using Covid as an 'excuse' for the changes being seen in school: absenteeism, impulsivity, emotion dysregulation, mental health challenges and lack of concentration. The thing is - the covid pandemic has had a significant impact on the structure and function of our brains. But, brains are adaptable and with the right research, plus support from government, education and workplaces, we can help to proactively improve brain health at any age. Naomi Glover

Going Through the Motions at Work? It's Time to Find Fulfilment and Inspiration. Ever feel like your career lacks direction, or that despite your talent and hard work, something just doesn't feel right? That "something" could be the missing piece: your Core Gift. Your Core Gift is what makes you uniquely you—your secret sauce, the offering only you can bring to the world. It's how you make an impact and truly help others. Camilla Hasloch

When I knew I was ready to progress in my career, I used to: - Work longer hours to get more done - Hope that I'd get noticed doing a great job - Volunteer for extra work or special projects - Pray that my boss recognised that I was ready - Browse the job boards on LinkedIn without a strategy. When that didn't work out for me, I took matters into my own hands - Stopped waiting - Started taking action - Got clarity on my next step (and why) - Created a strategic roadmap to get there - Did great work AND advocated for myself - Stepped up my networking, internally & externally - Had direct and productive conversations people that could help. Beth Hocking

It sometimes feels like we men have been conditioned to sacrifice ourselves. "Just do it" "You're a man, aren't you?" "Stop being a baby about it" So we do the thing, not because we want to, but because we don't want to be shamed, guilted or coerced for not doing it. And that ain't right. But what should you do in these kind of situations? Doing the chore, so it's done? Or rest, because self-care is important too? I'm telling you to, whatever you choose to do, do so for the right reasons. Live intentionally. Matti Kleikamp

Leading by example also applies to vulnerability: opening up when things are tough as well as celebrating the small wins. Success can be defined by as many different ways as there are people on this Earth. But what is for sure is that what’s impacting it is your leader, coach and support system. It is by nurturing psychological safety that true leaders stand out. Because human resilience means finding a sustainable way of working. Awareness is also key. When you start questioning yourself about the work you need to do in your self-development, you’ve already done 70% of the work. Mouna Laaragat

Many times, you held back from an opportunity. Because of a belief that you weren’t capable enough. We all have limiting beliefs; – need to be perfect before stepping up – feeling too inexperienced – not smart enough. These beliefs build invisible walls around us, keeping us small. I was once told, “girls can’t do 3 sciences.” That wasn’t my belief, but my teachers! If I had accepted it my dreams and entire career would have been different. I would have been living someone else’s future. We all carry these beliefs from society, institutions, or even our own insecurities. They aren’t truths—they’re barriers. What if you reframed “I’m not experienced enough” to “I’m not experienced enough yet”? Rachael Lemon

At 900 km/h, standing still wasn’t an option. Inaction wasn’t passive—it was a decision with consequences. This crystallised my approach to leadership and decision-making. Yet, too many still view risk management as merely a safety measure, a way to avoid mistakes. Risk is the engine of progress. The worst decision isn’t getting it wrong - it’s doing nothing. Here’s what bold leadership demands: 1. Inaction is never neutral: It’s choosing to let the world move past you. 2. Failure to act is worse than making a mistake: Mistakes fuel progress; inaction suffocates it. 3. Risk is not just for emergencies: It’s a core leadership skill that drives innovation, growth, and lasting impact. Paul Littlejohn

Self-doubt may just be your hidden superpower. But most people see it as a weakness. How to leverage 3 key impacts of Imposter Syndrome: 1. Better Preparation: That nagging voice? It's your secret weapon. Self-doubt drives you to over-prepare, leaving no stone unturned. You become the most knowledgeable person in the room. 2. Continuous Improvement: Your imposter feelings fuel an insatiable hunger for growth. You're constantly learning, evolving, and sharpening your skills. This perpetual development cycle sets you apart from the competition. 3. Feedback Seeker: Your uncertainty makes you a master collaborator. You actively seek input, fostering stronger team relationships. This openness to feedback accelerates your personal and professional growth. Andrea J Miller

Ever wondered why you keep falling into the same patterns, even when you know they're not serving you? Patterns start as conscious choices driven by rewards. Over time, these patterns become ingrained, optimizing our neural pathways to the point where they run on autopilot. While this efficiency can be useful, it also means we often lose sight of the consequences these patterns bring. The trouble is, as patterns become unconscious, we focus more on their rewards and less on their negative impacts. This can lead to a sense of powerlessness, where we feel the consequences without seeing the pattern. Adam Quiney

What on earth is DNF? I didn't know either until about 2016. I started running and realised that it meant Did Not Finish. I prefer to take it to mean Did Not Fail! Because failure is not trying. Failure is not learning from a mistake. Failure is creating the blockages in your mind. I know, I still do this sometimes because nobody is perfect. But it's how we reframe our thought patterns and behaviours, repetition really helps! Remember when you first tried to ride a bike? You kept trying, didn't you? How can you fail when you tried. So DNF is about not failing because you actually started. Getting past that first discomfort is often the most challenging. Fiona Ratic

To be somewhere you have never been, you must do things you have never done. And that is f*cking scary. It means making changes to your environment, network, actions and mindset. It means pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Accepting vulnerability and discomfort as part of the process. Even those who have worked in change for almost a decade (like me) struggle with it. It won’t be a surprise to anyone who knows me well that I have paid public speaking in my sights for 2025. Something I haven’t done that much of. Not something I’ve ever been paid to do. Something I’m pretty nervous about. Yasmin Sampson - Da Rocha

You don't hold your posture, your posture holds you! You constantly fight gravity - the more efficiently you fight it, the better you feel in your body, the more equilibrium you experience and the more your performance sustainably increases. Your posture is responsible for how stable you feel as you fight gravity. The better your postural alignment, the more efficiently you will manage the weight of your body and the better you can lift weights and build strength! Hedi Shah

"Movement is healing". We’ve been conditioned to be afraid of our backs. The language we use around pain—and the beliefs that come from them—have a massive impact on our recovery. It’s normal to feel back pain. 84% of people experience it in their lifetime. What isn’t normal is the fear we’ve been taught to associate with it. We need a new narrative, one filled with hope and reassurance. With the right support and a community to lift you up, you will be okay. Narinder Sheena

Too much stress could lead to an irregular heartbeat. A new study suggests that high levels of stress may increase your chances of developing atrial fibrillation. This is a common heart disorder that occurs when the upper chambers of the heartbeat chaotically and out of sync with the lower chambers. While AFib itself isn’t usually life-threatening, it can lead to serious complications like stroke and heart failure if left untreated. Chronic stress is known to activate the body’s “fight or flight” response, leading to surges in stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this constant state of arousal may cause electrical and structural changes in the heart. Nicole Valens

Here are 5 tips to help your child enjoy reading: 1. Start Early: Introduce books when they are babies. 2. Be a Role Model: Let them see you reading often and show them reading is fun. 3. Make it a Routine: Consistency builds habit and reading doesn’t just have to be saved for bedtime. 4. Create a Reading Space:?A cozy corner with good lighting and comfy seating can make reading inviting. Keep books within reach. 5. Let Them Choose:?Visit libraries & bookshops. Relate books to their interests.?Reading does not only need to involve books – it could be the back of a cereal packet, instructions to a game, recipes, etc. Rachel Vecht

Know that you are the awareness beyond the thought/emotion - see it, and deal with it from there. To explain: let’s break it down to something simple. Nobody is one emotion their entire life, are they? Nobody gets stuck in happiness and never feels sad ever again for example. So, you cannot be the emotion. It has to be transient, right? It comes and it goes. Might come back again many, many times but even then, there'll be the briefest moment where you're free from it. So you must be that which experiences the emotion, not the emotion, i.e. the awareness of it. Steve Ware

Oaks cast acorns, some fall close and are shaded by the parent tree. This shade isn't so great - it hampers their development, essentially until the parent tree dies. Leaders that hamper development do something similar. Creating frustration, exits, loss of talent and then leaving a vacuum and disorganised free-for-all when they leave, however that may happen. The saplings in the semi shade get nurtured, protected from some elements, exposed to enough to enable growth. Offered a share of the light to grow strong and ready to step up an do the same when the time comes. Rachel Woods

What’s your greatest fear? Some may say death, others will say public speaking (yes, seriously, it appears that more people are afraid of speaking in public than of dying). I disagree. It’s fear of judgment. We are sacred to be judged by others. We are scared that they will think less of us. But mostly we are scared that they will judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. If this resonates, you’re probably like I was: sabotaging yourself. Stop thinking that you can’t do something. Start thinking that you can learn to do it. Small change of words, big change of mindset! Kick your judge saboteur out of your head! Karine Zbinden

Having been an HR Ghostwriter for a decade until 2023, I am now encouraging people to find their voices rather than lend them mine.

Thoughts make more sense when you take the time to write them down.

When you share your journal (anonymously) with another person, it has more impact.

All the best, Parzival11