33 Insights from the Duet Voices: Issue 13

This Duet Journal newsletter contains select snippets from what 33 Duet Voices (leaders in wellness, coaching, and careers) have posted on LinkedIn this week.

A concentrated dose of inspiration.

There might be something in there that changes your day.

Before we get into the insights,

Would you like to know how anonymous journaling can benefit your business?

How you can help yourself and your colleagues (present, past, and future)...

My fave five

?Whenever we face a big change or challenge, discomfort creeps in. But here’s the truth: Feeling scared doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It just means you’re stepping into something new. Turn it into a confidence boost: 1.) Use fear as a signal for growth. When something feels intimidating, it’s because it’s new. Rather than seeing this as a roadblock, view it as a sign you’re moving forward. 2.) Separate fear from capability. Fear is natural, but it doesn’t mean you lack the skills. Remind yourself that discomfort is part of the process, not a reflection of your ability. 3.) Focus on small wins to build confidence. Break down big changes into smaller tasks. Every small success along the way proves to yourself that you can handle it. 4.) Remember past wins. Reflect on past moments when you conquered challenges. Knowing that you’ve navigated uncomfortable situations before can remind you of your resilience. 5.) Accept the learning curve. New challenges require new skills. Embrace the learning process, understanding that confidence grows with each step forward. Beth Hocking

From Deep Breathing to Soft Breathing. Soft breathing automatically provides depth. These days, we are a bunch of “neck breathers”, while our primary breathing muscle is the diaphragm. Learning to expand your rib cage 360° allows for better lung expansion. Soft, diaphragmatic breaths use less effort, prevent strain on the neck and shoulders, and help maintain natural, relaxed breathing throughout the day. Studies show diaphragmatic breathing enhances oxygen exchange, reduces cortisol levels, and supports parasympathetic activation for better stress management. Support your posture with breathing practice. Hedi Shah ??

If you’ve ever felt paralysed by the need to "get it right," you're not alone. I'd often find myself re-working things, even though no one else would probably ever know. The off switch wasn't activating! Neuroscience shows us that perfectionism isn't about high standards. It's about fear and control. Personally - I've had to work hard to know when enough is enough, and be kinder to myself. Here are 4 neuroscience-backed steps to escape the perfectionism trap: 1.) Reframe failure. The brain thrives on learning through trial and error. Mistakes are feedback, not final. 2.) Shift focus to process: Engaging in small, manageable steps creates dopamine rewards, reinforcing motivation. 3.) Practice self-compassion: Self-criticism activates the stress response, but self-kindness activates the prefrontal cortex, enhancing problem-solving. 4.) Create psychological safety: Take action in low-stakes environments where mistakes are allowed, encouraging risk-taking and growth. Sophie Fraser

The gentle embrace of autumn, speaks of timeless wisdom. As the leaves turned into shimmering shades of amber and gold, falling gracefully to the earth, they show the beauty of letting go. Its shifting colours, an echo: In every ending lies the seed of a new beginning, of a new cycle that mirrors the tenacity of the human spirit, unbridled. Autumn, with its cool air and crisp mornings, invites acceptance, compassion, self-love: Human emotions often buried under the burdens of the unconscious mind. It reminds us of the patient endeavour of transformation, neither immediate or visible rather of the gradual unfolding of potential. In the heart of autumn, a truth akin to the invincible summer within: Resilience is not merely surviving the storms, but thriving amidst change. Monica Dettori

Some honest truths about mindfulness practitioners: We get anxious, suffer low moods and are just as vulnerable as any other person. We can be pretty mindless, rushing around like every other person. We can be quick to judge or otherwise form opinions of others, just like any other person. The difference? We tend to notice these things as and when they arise. In simply noticing things as and when they arise, we honour what it means to be human. We also begin to act more skilfully, with discernment. With acceptance. Curiosity. Letting things be. So don’t let yourself think that practicing mindfulness is representative of some utopian vision of a perfect world. Rather, acknowledge your humanness, with all its perceived imperfections and be open to whatever arises. The choice then is yours, and that is where the full potential of your human nature lies. Scott Robinson

Food has the power to influence your mood for worse of better, While it perfectly normal to go for comforting foods in this time of the year, it is important to learn to make intelligent choices. If you suffer from SAD you might be experiencing more carbs and sweet cravings, because your body is trying to increase serotonin in the brain and as a result of disrupted circadian rhythms and low energy levels. So, you need to outsmart your body. Go for foods that support your stress response and thyroid like foods rich in magnesium, vitamin B6, vitamin A, zinc and selenium. Choose proteins and some healthy fats in the first part of the day, to support neurotransmitter production and reduce sugar and carbs cravings. Seasonal foods like pumpkin, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, nuts, some read meat, avocado, sardines, raw cocoa powder and dark chocolate. Do not forget Vitamin C, that is important for energy production: so berries (fresh or frozen) and agrumes of any kind. Claudia Armani

At the workshop we delved into the concept of work-life integration—where work, interests, family, and self-care harmonize to energize and uplift us. Why is this shift to integration important? 57% of people would turn down a job if it harmed their work-life balance (Randstad Workmonitor 2024) 70% of employees with poor work-life balance experience burnout (HBR). Companies that support work-life balance see a 20% jump in employee satisfaction and loyalty (Workplace Trends Report 2024). We all know the demands of work and life are real. It’s hard enough to fit it all in, let alone feel truly fulfilled. My approach: Find Your Sweet Spot. Set Boundaries that Work. Make Your To-Do List Work for You. Nurture Physical and Mental Energy. Paola Elena Brignoli

What’s more important to you - money or time? What would you wish you had more of on your death bed? The fact is, we often waste time trying to save money. We put off spending on our wellbeing because we can’t justify the cost. Yet investing in our health buys us what we desire most. Time. So, of course money isn't evil. It can buy us better health, freedom and shared experiences with loved ones. We need to spend wisely. I’m at the stage in my life where I simply won’t scrimp on investing in my health and well-being. It’s a non-negotiable. Because designer handbags and shoes are utterly meaningless compared to spending extra quality time on this earth with my loved ones. Rhoda Cameron

I feel that the timing of our greatest impact emerges as a "dance" - an amazing interplay between what our spirit wishes to do in this human life and also how the Universe and other influences (including what our soul signed up for to experience in this lifetime) are shaping what we're focusing on and endeavouring to create. And the dance also involves our willingness to do what we're called to do. I've seen some of my own past lives and believe with all my heart that there is much more going on with every life we have, than meets the eye. I had secret, unnourished longings to make a big positive impact when I was young, but I didn't heed them. Mostly, I didn't listen to those longings because the training I received in growing up was about taking what seemed to be the most "secure, safe path." That did not work out for me, at all. It was only when my life delivered a huge "breakdown" experience at age 41 (right after 9/11) that I said "enough!" I'm taking the reins now and doing all I can to create more meaning and to be helpful to others, with the time I have left here. Kathy Caprino

Decision fatigue is when you become physically exhausted, get a bit of brain fog or you just feel a bit fried because you’ve been making so many decisions. I know it well because I felt it every single day for a long time. A study in Columbia University says the average person makes almost 500 decisions a week. And it’s probably more if you’re a Dad! Every time you’re making a decision you’ve got to use a bit of willpower to activate it. And it’s like a muscle. Yeah, if you work on it, it’ll get stronger. But work a muscle too hard and it blows out quickly. So that’s why I created the Prime Time Protocol. It helps me segment my thinking, combine my decision making and gives me the systems and structures to run on autopilot. To ultimately think less and do more. Steve Cardwell

This weekend, my 3-year-old taught me about leadership and bravery. Her swollen, bruised, purply black little finger had her crying hysterically all night, yet she faced the A&E visit with courage. She looked up at the X-Ray machine with awe and demonstrated a level of bravery that even adults would find difficult. As leaders, we often overlook the power of vulnerability and mindfulness in tough times. Just like my daughter, embracing our fears and being in the moment can lead to profound growth… p.s. How do you practice mindfulness in moments of crisis? p.p.s. She has sprained her finger badly but no broken bones. Krissi Carter 嘉敏兒

We don't procrastinate because we are lazy, we procrastinate because we are trying to avoid the feeling the task is associated with. Try breaking down the task into smaller, less daunting actions that feel easy. For example: Instead of walking in and asking your boss for that pay rise; Draft an email appointment to her/him asking for a meeting. Write some points you want to make during the meeting. Practice saying it with a trusted friend. Write down some of the questions you think they will ask you and prepare the answers. Not so daunting now, is it? Elaine Champion

Here's a little something for you to muse while you have your Thursday morning coffee... That shadow in the pic (there was a pic with a shadow) isn't me, right? It's a projection of me. And it changes depending on the light, the angle, etc. Depending on where you look at it from, it will appear different to you than it does to me. This is quantum physics 101. So then... the shadow is cast by 'me' - but it's not me. 'Me' is not the shadow. How I operate my physical body will change the shape of the shadow. It is created by me... but it / I will never BE the shadow. ?You've seen the cute YouTube vids of kids chasing or running from their shadows, (seriously if you haven't grab another cuppa after this and watch - super funny!) and do they ever win and catch their shadow - NO! ?That would be ridic and it's funny to watch because you know they never will. OK - Why TF am I telling you this?! Well here's the thing... This is exactly what I see happening when I see people struggling with their results - in ANY aspect. They look at the result and think it's who they are. The debt. The job rejection. The relationship breakup. The client saying no. The weight gain. Those things are NOT you. They're the shadow. Yet you're chasing after them. They're the illusion, the projection and just like the shadow, everyone will see it differently. Dr Donna Elliott

Limiting beliefs affect your confidence and can really restrict your ability to reach your full potential and shine. Self-Doubt: if you believe you're incapable or unworthy of success, you’re less likely to pursue opportunities or push yourself to grow. Fear of Failure: the assumption that you will fail or that success is unattainable causes you to hold back from trying or committing fully to new endeavours. Negative Self-Talk: thoughts like “I’m not good enough” become internalised, shaping how you perceive yourself and limiting your ability to project confidence. Reduced Motivation: if you believe your efforts won’t lead to positive outcomes, you may lack the motivation to take action. Perceived Lack of Control: when limiting beliefs dominate your mindset, you may feel powerless to change your circumstances or influence outcomes. Gemma Hogan - Coach / NLP Master Practitioner

Some conversations create tension unintentionally at work, while others lead to cooperation. It can come down to one simple shift: changing from “you and your” or “you and you” language to “I feel, we, and us” language. Why this matters: When people use “you and your” language, it often feels like blame is being placed directly on the individual. A Better Way: Shift to ‘I Feel, We and Us’ Now imagine using language that expresses how you are experiencing the situation rather than placing the blame. Here’s how it looks: Instead of saying, “You need to improve your time management,” try, “I feel that we’re facing challenges with time management—how can we improve this together?” The phrase “I feel” focuses on your personal experience rather than blaming the other person. This helps reduce defensiveness because it frames the issue as a shared concern rather than a personal attack. When you follow this with “we” or “us” language, it brings a sense of collective responsibility, inviting collaboration. Marc Hogan MSc, EMCC SP

This weekend I went foraging. We learnt all about plants and mushrooms, may sound lame, but it got me thinking… Mushrooms in nature are like workplaces and colleagues: Two mushrooms can look the same and one is toxic, the other a delight aka) looks can be deceiving. There’s never one mushroom, always multiples aka) teamwork makes it happen. Some mushrooms grow on decaying wood aka) bad bosses breed bad cultures. Watch out for the prettiest mushrooms, they’re often the deadly ones. Oh, and if you’re a leader with a ‘mushroom’ that you know is feeding on your team and bringing the toxicity level up to max … sort it … maybe the mushroom needs another environment. Laura Joy

We talk about transparency and communication, mutual respect and support… But is that really the norm which we’re heading towards? “I’m transparent” - but cannot give the full picture to the team. “I communicate” - but when triggered clam up and shut down. “I respect others” - but don’t push my buttons. “I’ll be supportive” - as long as it is reciprocated. True values are not conditional. Read that again. True values are not conditional. So, what is it for you then? Do you have it in you to show up as your best self no matter what is thrown at you? How do you practice that? Mouna Laaragat

Breaks are not a distraction. They’re a chance to reset attention and incubate ideas. Play is not a frivolous activity—it’s a source of joy and a path to mastery." (from "Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things" by Adam Grant). It's well worth remembering the many positive ripple effects of taking breaks: Increased focus & clarity, stress relief, health and wellbeing. When we don’t take breaks: 1.) Poor decision making. The ripple effect is a gift we Do Not want to keep giving to ourselves, others, and the projects we are working on. 2.) Mental fatigue. Consider the link to low self-management and emotional regulation; this could look like explosive meetings, reactive responses, and lots of time cleaning up the mess. Is it worth it? 3.) Resentment. Of self and others, ruminating on the stories that feed this which causes distress, eroding health and wellbeing, on every level. Pollyanna Lenkic (She/Her)

For too long, leadership has been defined by aiming for perfection—meticulous planning, risk elimination, and avoiding mistakes at all costs. But today’s fast-paced business environment doesn’t allow for rigidity. The real world is unpredictable, and no plan survives unchanged once it meets reality. The flaw in traditional thinking isn’t just that it’s slow—it’s that it’s inflexible. It assumes that thorough planning can prevent mistakes, but mistakes are inevitable. What matters isn’t avoiding them; it’s learning from them faster than anyone else. Leaders who cling to traditional approaches often find themselves reacting too slowly to market shifts, customer demands, or competitive threats. In contrast, leaders who embrace iteration create systems that are flexible, resilient, and continuously improving. Instead of fearing mistakes, they leverage to build momentum. You stop waiting for the perfect moment and instead start creating better outcomes through continuous learning. Paul Littlejohn

Today I want to highlight a charity that I care about very deeply (and am proud to be on the board of), Apart Of Me, which helps young people who have lost a parent or close relative, or have someone important in their life with a terminal illness. At the core of what Apart Of Me does, is their multi-award-winning therapeutic game, which was co-created by experts in child psychology and bereaved young people. It translates bereavement-counselling techniques into a magical 3D world and most importantly, is totally free to use. Childhood bereavement is associated with a number of negative outcomes for those affected, particularly when their grief is left unacknowledged and unprocessed. In the UK alone, 25% of under 20s who take their own life have experienced childhood bereavement, while 41% of young offenders have lost a parent. Amy McKeown

Stop trying to predict what AI will do to your career. That's the wrong approach. Prediction is passive. Creation is powerful. While others are debating AI's impact, leaders are actively shaping how it transforms their work. They're not waiting to see what happens. They're deciding what happens. The tools are here. The knowledge is available. The opportunity is now. Your skills aren't becoming obsolete. They're becoming the foundation for something greater. Think of today's AI revolution like the early days of the internet. The biggest winners weren't the predictors. They were the builders. The future belongs to those who shape it. Not those who wait for it. What future will you create? Andrea J Miller, PCC, SHRM-SCP

The struggle to ask for help. It’s something I know well, both personally and professionally, and it’s a challenge many of us carry. In our culture, we’re taught that strength means handling everything ourselves, that independence is paramount, and that asking for support might mean we’re failing somehow. We should be strong, independent women. It’s how we’ve been raised! These messages of independence, deeply ingrained from a young age, shape how many women approach their personal and professional lives. And even though I teach and coach on these very concepts, I’ve often found myself hesitating to ask for what I need. Is it fear of rejection? Or that internalised conditioning whispering that I shouldn’t need help? Whatever it is, I feel it too. If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for help or found yourself downplaying your needs, remember that reaching out can be one of the most empowering acts you can do. Michelle Minnikin

17-19 years trapped in negative thoughts and imprisoning behaviours" (avg. time women spend in a lifetime focusing on diets to shrink). Trading a year of life to fit societal pressures. Our most precious asset, time...frittered away on the nonsensical messaging that has been imprinted on us since birth. We can break free, from food morality, purity culture and feeling that shame and torture of. "I must be doing something wrong" You ain't. Talking helps. Changing your behaviours will change your mindset and your life. Let’s leave no BODY behind. 95% of diets fail (when they have a focus to shrink you). Tara O'Donoghue

Your anxiety isn’t the problem. Your fear isn’t the problem. Your sadness isn’t the problem. Your anger isn’t the problem. Your emotions AREN’T the problem. The problem is your resistance to feeling them. And the more you resist feeling them, the stronger the hold they have over you. So if you want to find inner peace, if you want to reduce the hold your emotions have over you: You have to expand your capacity to feel them and process them. Alex ?stergaard

Top 6 discoveries that have the power to change your life: 1.) Who You Listen to Matters. Most “success experts” don’t apply what they preach. Real change starts with seeking guidance from those who have achieved what you desire. 2.) The Teachability Index. Success isn’t just learning new skills; it’s about being willing to change. Ask yourself: What am I willing to give up to grow? 3.) Mastering Thought Over Technique. The “how” is only 0.1% of success. Focus on clear goals and positive thoughts—they are the real drivers. 4.) The Four Levels of Learning. Growth goes from not knowing you don’t know to mastery. Recognize your stage and commit to progress. 5.) Association with Achievers. Surround yourself with those living your dreams. Their mindset and habits are contagious. 6.) Your Wish is Your Command. Every wish can come true with the right mindset and actions. Remember, your thoughts are the blueprint of your reality. James Peters

Do you feel uncomfortable about sharing your accomplishments? You’re not alone. Many hesitate to talk about their achievements, worrying it might come off as bragging. But here’s the truth: if you don’t communicate your value, others won’t see what you bring to the table. I recently worked with a senior leader who knew he needed to speak more about his accomplishments. His mindset was, "Isn't this expected?" Well, actually, while it is expected, not everyone delivers. Prospective employers needed to know how he delivered value. And if he did not tell them in a resume or interview, how would they know? So, stop seeing it as bragging. Think of sharing your achievements as simply communicating your value. When you talk about your successes, you give others a clear picture of your capabilities. Then they will know how you can solve THEIR problems. Shelley Piedmont

The thing making it hard to trust someone else’s process is the lack of trust in our own. “I should know better. I should be better” All of us have a process, and what makes it so challenging to have grace for your process is that you have a belief and expectation that you should be able to do better than your current process. Your process is how you get from here to there. You struggle to have grace for other people’s processes because you struggle to have grace for your own processes. The grace for your own process is the heart of all transformational work. Adam Quiney

It's not that the keys to success don't work. They fit the lock just fine... but most people never get around to implementing them. And maybe, if you're reading this, you've noticed that in your own journey so far. So. Who are these precious few? And how do they do it? How do they break free from the cycle of perpetually wanting the thing, investing in the thing, desperately trying to figure out the thing, being on the brink of the thing - to actually creating it? What marks them out as different or special? Well - nothing. And everything. Because the only difference... is that they're subconsciously ready for the thing. It's more than a wish or desire. It's part of their identity. On the deepest level. They are completely aligned at their core. So nothing stands in their way - no trauma, no blocks, no lack of self-belief. Their path to creation is clear. All they have to do is take the action they know they need to take. Put the key in the lock and turn it. One click at a time. And they do. Abi Rogers

Strategies to improve your visibility in the workplace. 1.) Engage in cross-departmental projects. Gain exposure to new ideas/practices building relationships with different colleagues. 2.) Share your success. Communicate your achievements and those of your team. 3.) Network actively. Attend workshops, seminars, company events and social gatherings. 4.) Seek leadership opportunities. Get on the radar of senior decision makers. 5.) Mentorship. Find someone within your organisation to help you (and promote your visibility). 6.) Present your ideas. Don’t shy away from sharing innovative ideas in meetings. 7.) Ask for feedback. It shows a willingness to learn and grow. 8.) Be consistent and reliable. Delivering high quality work and meeting deadlines establishes you as a reliable team member. Rosalinde Rosado

Community is a powerful thing. Especially in a job search. ?Earlier this month, I shared I'm an "aurora chaser" - part of a growing group of curious individuals determined to see the Northern Lights. ?Here's the thing: I didn't find the aurora on my own. I'm part of a burgeoning community of like-focused people who share information, encouragement and, most importantly - intel on where and when it's likely to spot the dazzling pillars of beauty. I'm always amazed at what evolves when people gather to watch a Northern Lights "show" - regardless of background, perspective or experience, people are just happy to unite with one common purpose: awe over this natural phenomenon. Jobseekers - you are also part of a community. You can collaborate to find work – for yourself and others. Michelle Schafer

Dealing with Discomfort. We often recreate our past by unconsciously following familiar patterns. They don’t serve us any longer, but they’ve become a habit. We were taught to avoid discomfort or stay schtum when things get tense because ‘good girls are polite and don’t cause trouble.’ So when we encounter tension, conflict or challenge, instead of leaning into it, we can revert to these old, automatic responses that let us offload the discomfort. This can lead to: 1.) Putting others’ needs first at the expense of our own 2.) Suppressing opinions, or withdrawing from confrontations to keep the peace 3.) Not sharing successes, ideas, opinions or redirecting praise. These comfort-driven choices feel safe, but they keep us stuck and often frustrated. There’s a shift that comes when we stretch our emotional bandwidth by learning to hold and process tension. This ability enables us to face high-stake situations with curiosity, calm, and clarity, rather than defaulting to old, conditioned habits. Claire Sewell ??

Do you ever feel like your mind is constantly running a marathon? From the moment you wake up to the time your head hits the pillow, your thoughts just won’t switch off. The never-ending mental to-do lists, the pressures from work, home, and life—it’s exhausting. I used to feel this way too. Between managing my business, family, and everything else, I felt like my brain was always on overdrive. Then something shifted. I discovered one simple technique that has completely transformed how I handle stress and overwhelm. It’s not a quick fix or a magic cure, but it works! From as little as 5 minutes, my breath meditation series can help you shift your mind from chaos to calm. It’s designed for instant relaxation and clarity, perfect for those stressful moments. Lisa Winn

Most people are wrong about public speaking. They think it’s about delivering a talk on a stage in front of hundreds of people and going viral on the internet… Well, that is public speaking too, but of a very advanced kind, not the one most people will be called on to do! I you: manage a team - have a boss and the occasional 1:1 - give a tour of the offices to colleagues from out of town - say a few words about your colleague at their leaving / retirement do - share some information in a team meeting - make a sales pitch - answer an inquiry over the phone, etc. You are public speaking! Be – clearer - more impactful - more inspiring. Connect better with your audience. Karine Zbinden, Ph.D.

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Having been an HR Ghostwriter for a decade until 2023, I am now encouraging people to find their voices rather than lend them mine.

Thoughts make more sense when you take the time to write them down.

When you share your journal (anonymously) with another person, it has more impact.

All the best, Parzival11