3.2.1.GO!

3.2.1.GO!

You Thought I’d Go Silent Today? Think Again!

Afterword: A New Beginning

You might have expected me to go silent today, but that’s not my style. After 21 days of guiding you through the essential psychosocial competencies, it’s time to reflect on what you’ve learned and what comes next. This isn’t just the end, it's a new beginning, a moment to pause, assess, and plan your next steps.

I am eager to discover your feedback and experiences...

We all know that personal growth is essential, but let’s be honest, change can be daunting. The journey through these 21 competencies hasn’t been easy, and making lasting changes can feel like an uphill battle, especially when the process feels tedious. But what if the path to growth didn’t have to be so hard?

Think about it. Imagine trying to break a deeply ingrained habit, it’s tough. But now, picture adding something positive that you actually enjoy, like applying your favourite perfume after a shower. You don’t do it because you have to, you do it because it makes you feel good, confident, and ready to face whatever comes your way. The scent lifts your spirits, so you keep a bottle handy, whether at your desk or in your bag. The same principle applies to personal growth. When the change is something you look forward to, it becomes a natural part of your life.

Why Positive Habit Creation Works

Focusing on eliminating bad habits is exhausting and often leads to frustration. But what if, instead of fighting to remove a negative habit, you introduced a positive one? When you focus on adding positive habits, you align your actions with what you naturally desire. This is the essence of positive reinforcement. When something feels good, you’re more likely to stick with it. Just like reaching for that bottle of perfume to brighten your day, positive habits gradually crowd out the less desirable ones, leading to lasting change without the struggle.

Choose Just One: Start with What You Love

Out of the 21 psychosocial competencies, pick the one that genuinely excites you, something that feels more like an opportunity than a chore. Or, choose a competency you’re already good at. Building on existing strengths can be incredibly motivating and can help you create momentum.

Here’s How to Start:

  1. Identify What Brings You Joy: Look through the 21 competencies and find the one that appeals to you the most. Which one sparks excitement or curiosity? Which one would you love to develop further, just as you’d enjoy applying your favourite scent?
  2. Visualise the Benefits: Imagine how your life will improve as you develop this competency. Picture yourself enjoying the growth process, experiencing the positive changes it brings, much like the boost you get from wearing your favourite perfume.
  3. Start Small and Build: Begin with a small, manageable action that fits easily into your daily routine. Make it simple, enjoyable, and rewarding. Use the SMARTER framework:

Specific

Measurable

Actionable (max 3 steps)

Realistic

Timebound

Exciting

Relevant (to your life, role, situation, overall goal)

As you see progress, increase your commitment.


Example: Developing Empathetic Listening Skills

Imagine choosing to develop Empathetic Listening Skills (Competency 15). You’ve noticed that when you genuinely listen, your relationships deepen, and you feel more connected. You’ve even heard people say you’re good at it. This isn’t something you’re doing out of obligation, it feels rewarding to understand and support those around you.

How to Create a Positive Habit:

  • Start Small: Dedicate just 10 minutes each day to practice active listening. During this time, focus entirely on the person you’re speaking with, resisting the urge to interrupt or offer advice. Simply listen.
  • Make it Enjoyable: Create a comfortable setting, whether it’s over tea with a friend or a quiet moment at home. Make the practice something you look forward to.
  • Celebrate the Wins: After each interaction, take a moment to reflect. Did you learn something new? Did you feel more connected? Recognise these small victories, they’ll keep you motivated.
  • Journal Your Progress: Use my 321 Method to reflect daily. Write down three things you learned, two things you liked or disliked, and one thing you’ll do from now on. This practice will reinforce your new habit and highlight your growth.

The Ripple Effect of Positive Habits

When you develop a competency you’re passionate about, it feels less like work and more like a rewarding journey. Over time, just as your favourite scent becomes a part of your daily routine, this new habit will influence other areas of your life. You might find that as your empathetic listening improves, you communicate more effectively (Competency 16), and your social bonds strengthen (Competency 17).

The EXO 3.2.1. GO! Exercise

Let’s dive into the exercise I share with all my clients, students, and even family. I recommend doing it every day, even multiple times a day.

Three: What are the three things you’ve learned from my last 22 articles on the Psychosocial Competencies?

Two: What are the two things you liked and two things you disliked? (Find the things you liked first, I’ll explain why later*).

One: What is the one thing that has or is about to change thanks to what you liked, disliked, and learned?

GO: So what? Now what? (What’s your next step?)

This exercise helps you gain Self Awareness - Self Knowledge (Competency 1) and Self Awareness - Mindful Awareness (Competency 4). It encourages you to pause and reflect, recognising what you’ve learned today or in any given moment. It also sharpens Self Awareness - Critical Thinking (Competency 2), helping you assess your experiences and their impact on you.

It fosters Constructive Decision Making - Responsible Choices (Competency 7) and Self Regulation - Goal Achievement (Competency 6), allowing you to think about how micro-moments can be managed and how you can influence your future by managing impulses (Competency 5).

*Science says we (humains) tend to see the bad things more easily so I challenge you to force you to identify a minumum of 2 things you like BEFORE you allow your mind to go to the dislikes.

Final Thoughts

Let's decide change doesn’t have to be painful or tedious. By focusing on positive habit creation, you can make the process of developing the 21 psychosocial competencies enjoyable, sustainable, and deeply fulfilling. So, pick the competency that excites you the most, start small, and let positive reinforcement guide your journey. When change feels good, it sticks, and that’s how you’ll thrive in all areas of your life.

We’re in this together, and I know you can do it. But if you want to make this journey even faster and more impactful, book a session NOW with me or one of Positive Performance Coaches for an Eye-Opening and Transformative Coaching experience. Let’s make growth not just possible, but pleasurable.

Take care,

Krumma

PS: click here for the free mental fitness app that might change your life and your relationships https://positive-performances.passion.io/



Marc Lalvée

Responsable du département des collections chez SCBD Université Sorbonne Paris Nord | Santé mentale en BU (formé PSSM) | D.E. "Mondes religieux, la?cité, sociétés" EPHE-PSL (IREL)

3 个月

Interesting resources and points to discuss with friends, family, colleagues regarding Competency 13 (Regulating stress in daily life) and Competency 14 (Ability to cope with adversity) and the "window of tolerance" mentioned here for example : https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

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