32. Milestones and Man in the Arena

32. Milestones and Man in the Arena

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Created with Stable Diffusion, prompt "Neurodiverse Person in the Arena"

Every April 1st I take stock to reflect on my journey to date.? This year represents the 40th anniversary of the day I arrived in California.? My personal milestone day.?

I vividly remember the drive across the country in a “drive away Chevette” that I did not own. I drove across the whited plains of the heartland, getting out of the car to see if the driver of a flipped-over tractor-trailer was okay, only to fall down because I was standing on a freeway of pure ice in a white-out storm.?

The Chevette barely had enough power to make up and over the Rockies.? But, evidently, enough power to get a speeding ticket on the way down somewhere in Colorado. The State Trooper didn’t appreciate my humor that a Chevette couldn’t physically exceed the speed limit, as he took my last $200 in cash as payment for an on-the-spot ticket.?

The moment I never forget is crossing the Arizona border and seeing the Welcome to California sign.? Walking in LA, from the Missing Persons, literally started playing as if ordained from a higher order.? That song has now been played more times than I can count. It always transports me back to that moment.? To that feeling of accomplishment for going for it.? My childhood dream was to be Walt Disney and here I was crossing into the home of Disneyland.??

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Created with Stable Diffusion, prompt "Welcome to California" in Andy Warhol style

The irony of April 1, other than being April Fools Day, is how many other times that date has shown up in my life.? A move from LA to Chicago found us landing in our new house on April 1.? A move from LA to SF on the same day.? And most recently, the move from SF to Napa on the same day.?

Today (April 4), my brother would have turned 72.? And, so it goes, another April 1st becomes a memorable milestone that ushers in a new leg of the journey - being the lone remaining offspring from my immediate family.

Milestones and what we do to celebrate them are critical timepieces that immortalize who we are and what we have become. We need to make time to honor them.? To embrace them.? To respect them. To reflect on them.? For they represent the mosaic of our life.?

Forty years of reflection brings me to the cherished quote from Theodore Roosevelt, delivered during his speech Citizenship in a Republic on April 23, 1910, at the Sorbonne in Paris.? This passage from that speech later became known as “The Man in the Arena”.?

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”? – Theodore Roosevelt

This brings me to current times and recognizing the power of narratives.? The one we tell ourselves about who we are and the other is the one that leans into the legacy we hope to leave by the company we keep, the deeds we have accomplished, and or the impact we have made during our time on earth.??

President Roosevelt delivered this observation so brilliantly 113 years ago when he spoke about standing strong when tested. We are certainly being tested again in 2023.? The world seems a bit uncertain and shaky at this moment, but we have been here before.? The anxiety of living in times of change is what begs us to dare greatly.??

For Now, is not the time to be a timid soul or a critic of others who are attempting to make change happen.? Now is the time to be the change you want to see.?


NOW (How you are realizing this today)

  1. What is your milestone day?
  2. How do you honor it???


NEW (How you will realize this tomorrow)

  1. Take your milestone day and turn it into a new memorable milestone by the end of the year.?
  2. What lessons can you turn into change for good?


NEXT (I see a world in which)?

I see a world in which knowing your Narrative Worth will become the most important intangible asset you will ever own.??


The Payoff??

The anniversaries of your life are important milestones to be appreciated and celebrated. Harness the power of your achievements to ground your purpose for what you are capable of doing. Being a person in the arena is our opportunity to show up and be accounted for. We collectively need that now, more than ever.??


Follow me on LinkedIn. Or DM at tobin@thenarrativeplaybook.com for more information.

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Thanks for reading and if you like what you are reading, please share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues.?

Roger Atchley

Owner at Phoenix pest services

1 年

Toby, I've known you for 50+ years now, and you still amaze and inspire me to this day! Thanks for everything you do

Barry Kibrick

Host/Producer-Between the Lines with Barry Kibrick

1 年

Toby, you are one of the wisest men I know now, next and then!

Love the story. It reminds of a 21 year-old freshly minted from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, who landed on Victory Blvd. in Burbank. A day reporting to Lockheed as one of 56 graduates. It was a stretch. Thank god for the homestyle cooking from the restaurant down the street. Marge, the waitress in her 50's liked me. She added ice-cream to my pie. No charge. No one cared about my race, sexual orientation, or if I belonged. Life was up to me. Still sounds pretty good.

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