31 Ways to Improve Your Life and Leadership in One Month (Part 1)

Welcome to Volume 14 of The Future of Leadership, where I provide big ideas to grow exceptional leaders. Subscribe for future editions. And don't forget to sign up for my new leadership development course.

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Many years ago when I started to coach and train leaders to become the best versions of themselves, I had to learn to be the example and to walk the talk myself! The biggest obstacle standing in my way?

Me.

I had to learn to remove the barriers of hubris, self-centeredness, and instant gratification to eventually learn the success principles of mindfulness, emotional intelligence, humility, and Servant Leadership. (my biggest blind spot was seeing the world through the lenses of what's in it for me?).

Things have changed. I continue to evolve as a human being and I still make mistakes. But having adopted some new habits, which I am sharing below, have certainly helped in my own metamorphosis.

Before you scroll down, a fair warning: It's not about you. It took years for me to develop the understanding that life, and good leadership, are really about giving, service, stewardship, and meaningful relationships.

Side note: Many of these habits can be practiced in minutes per day. Others will require some courage and stretching as you pivot and acclimate. In the end, if you allow yourself the honor and space of personal growth, you will find more joy and success.

31 Activities to Improve Your Life and Leadership

Day 1: Do someone a"five-minute favor."

 Five-minute favors are selfless giving acts, without asking for anything in return from the people that you help. Examples of five-minute favors include: sharing knowledge, making an introduction, serving as a reference for a person, product, or service, or recommending someone on LinkedIn or another social place.

Day 2: Share a positive experience.

Studies published in BPS Research have found that sharing the good things that happen in your life is the way to happiness. It also helps to lift people up. In one study, participants that journaled and shared positive experiences with another person at least twice a week were more satisfied with life.

Day 3: Stop trying to be perfect.

We all have a tendency to work too much, misplace our life's priorities, and, ultimately, the joy that comes with it. It may be that unhealthy feeling that if we don't do something productive every day, we've somehow failed. So allow your perfectionism to rest. Slow down, and know that where you are, at this moment, is where you need to be. As you eliminate the need to strive and be perfect but continue to move forward with realistic expectations that things will work out ... things will work out. So surrender to the universe. When you do, you'll begin to appreciate and focus on other, neglected priorities that bring you joy.

Day 4: Give empathy a chance.

Empathy is a leadership powerhouse that anyone can develop, and it starts with thinking about other people's circumstances, understanding their pains and frustrations, and knowing that those emotions are every bit as real as our own. This helps you develop perspective, and opens you up to helping others, which also enhances your sense of gratitude.

Day 5: Have a calling. Now pursue it!

Remind yourself frequently that the purpose of your life is not to work 12 hours per day, five days per week for 30 years, then retire to a golf course in Florida. Your true purpose should be to discover your calling in life, basking in the joy of the journey along the way, one step at a time. In the end, your legacy is left to these two questions:

• What impact did I make on the lives of others?
• Whom did I serve and make better?

Day 6: Shine the light on others.

There's something magical that happens when we let other people have the glory. Reading this may bruise your ego, but when we shine the spotlight on someone else and let that person be seen, heard, respected, and considered special -- it becomes enjoyable to do so and gives us peaceful and quiet confidence.

Day 7: Give thanks.

I don't care what religion you come from, start your day by thanking your higher power for the things you take for granted. As it turns out, if you make more than $30,000, you earn more than 53.2 percent of Americans. If you make more than $50,000, you earn more than 73.4 percent of Americans. Feeling grateful now? Say a little prayer and give thanks, and then pray for those less fortunate than you.

Day 8: Practice patience.

Leaders with a high degree of emotional intelligence use their patience for advantage. They have the learned capacity to process a situation about to go south, get perspective, listen to someone they disagree with without judgment, and hold back from reacting head-on. In practicing the virtue of patience, it may mean making the decision to sit on your decision. By thinking it over things with a rational and level-headed mind, you'll eventually arrive at another, more sane conclusion. 

Day 9: Be the first to reach out after an argument.

The tendency for so many of us is to let resentment fester after an argument or misunderstanding, and then cut off the person from our lives until he or she reaches out to us with an apology. It's convenient. But it's also just plain dumb. You lose a friendship or great work connection because your ego has to have its way. Instead, be the first to reach out to make amends, even if you're the one that has to apologize. That humble act will do wonders; the other person will soften, apologize, and allow you back into his or her life.

Day 10: Have boundaries.

The most effective leaders I've coached have a simple schedule. They don't take on more than they can handle. They live according to their values and purpose. They have strong boundaries around what comes into their work and life. And they have no problem saying no. If something doesn't serve you, if it has little value, and if it doesn't make you better tomorrow than you are today -- simply say no.

Day 11: Show genuine enthusiasm for other people.

If a colleague or employee shares good news or a win, there are many ways in which you could respond. One response might be, "That's fantastic! I had no doubts you could win over that customer with your hard work. Let's celebrate and get some pizza and beer tonight." Scientists call this active and constructive responding (ACR). An ACR response shares in people's joy and excitement and shows genuine interest and curiosity. By doing so, you'll maintain strong personal relationships and feel more positive.

Day 12: Have a positive outlook.

People with a good amount of emotional intelligence hold a positive outlook: They see the good in people, situations, and events. In turn, this is a valuable skill that can build resilience and set the stage for innovation and opportunity.

Day 13: Surround yourself with smarter people than you.

If you're a smart person (and I trust that you are since you're reading this list), you want to view yourself as a small fish in the great big pond of life -- seeking out connections from others further down the path from which to learn. So, here's a question: who are the people of influence in your life? Invite one of them to coffee (in-person, not virtual), and learn something new from this person. It will make you better, and he or she will appreciate the chance to pay it forward.

Day 14: Start a gratitude journal.

Psychologist Shawn Achor told Oprah that you train your brain to be optimistic if you do this for 21 days in a row: Each day, write down three new things you are grateful for. And while you're at it, journal about one positive experience today. Achor also told Oprah that if you spend two minutes per day journaling about one positive experience in the past 24 hours, it allows your brain to relive it, and teaches your brain that the behavior matters.

Day 15: Don't be afraid of making mistakes.

Look at mistakes as a part of life which can provide awesome learning experiences. But first, you have to have the courage to examine them. Learn from each mistake that you make. You'll grow as a result.

[Continue the list in part 2]

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Podcast Highlights

Every week I feature a conversation on the Love in Action podcast with global influencers and thought-leaders.

On episode 75, I sat down with Dr. Stephen Trzeciak, Chief of Medicine at Cooper University Healthcare, and Professor and Chair of Medicine at Cooper Medical School. He is the bestselling author of Compassionomics: The Revolutionary Scientific Evidence That Caring Makes a Difference. His research on compassion has been featured in prominent medical journals, including the Journal of the American Medical Association and the New England Journal of Medicine.

Highlights from our conversation:

• Stephen’s mission is to make healthcare more compassionate through science. “I ended up coming to the conclusion that the most pressing problem of our time is the lack of compassion,” Stephen says. “And I believe that transcends almost everything that we’re seeing in society today.”
• Physicians miss 60-90% of opportunities to treat patients with compassion.
• Compassion improves patient outcomes.
• Depersonalization, a major indicator of burnout, is associated with medical and surgical errors.
• People who have more compassion are more resistant to burnout.
• Forty seconds of compassion was all it took to make a measurable difference in the anxiety levels of patients who had gone through cancer.
• Helping others helps you become more successful. On the other hand, people who are only focused on themselves are more likely to be depressed, anxious, unfulfilled, and unhappy.

Listen/subscribe: Apple Podcast | Spotify | Stitcher | Download

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News, Trends and Insights

Why we need more laughter at work: Humor can alleviate stress and help managers be more respected and approachable, say Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas of Stanford University's business school. They outline four humor personality types along with ways to keep humor from becoming offensive or self-deprecating. [Full Story: Nir & Far blog]

Pandemic self-care for CEOs: Harvard Business School professor Boris Groysberg and colleagues look at the tactics and techniques that business leaders are using to manage stress during the COVID-19 pandemic. [Full story: HBS Working Knowledge]

Supporting Black Employees in 2021: Maybe your company has supported Black-owned businesses. But Tony Bond, Chief Diversity & Innovation Officer at Great Place to Work, takes it a step further with actionable advice on how companies can shift culture to support Black employees. [Full story: Great Place to Work]

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Top 3 Most Read Inc. Articles

The most globally-read articles from my Inc. column. This week, check out:

• Warren Buffett: Investing in Yourself Is the Best Way to Find Success. Here are 3 Smart Ways to Do It [read article]
• If You're Too Scared to Do These 5 Things, Your Leadership May Be on Life Support [read article]
• Why Do People Leave Their Jobs, Exactly? The Entire Reason Can Be Summed Up in a Few Sentences [read article]

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Don't Forget!

My purpose is to help leaders grow and thrive. Find out how my new virtual leadership course can help you, or your leadership team, create high-performing teams.

At your service,

Marcel

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About Marcel Schwantes

Marcel Schwantes is a speaker, executive coach, leadership advisor, podcast host, and syndicated columnist with a global following. His work has been featured in Inc., Time, Business Insider, Fast Company, The New York Daily News, CNBC, Forbes, and others. Marcel trains leaders worldwide through his signature course, "From Boss to Leader." He speaks on the human side of work, and how cultures of care, connection, and people-empowerment power companies to outperform the competition.