#31 How Bob & Doug's "Great White North" Hockey episode inspired Trump's interest in CDN (a satire)
How Bob & Doug's Great White North inspired Trump's interest in CDN:
In order to explain the three dimensional chess that determines President Trump's foreign policy one has to consider the backstories that inspire him and his key advisors. The following of course is a speculative scenario that is hoped to help explain the logic behind the current economic war with Canada. Please note that while the names are real their words are entirely fictional. To set the stage a meeting is taking place in the Oval Office between Don, Elon, JD & Marco. Elon leans over and whispers in Don's ear.
Don: Marco could you go to the cafeteria and get me some KFC.
JD: Elon and I wanted to show you a video that we think may help solve one of the key problems you have with the US Don, that being there are just too many black and brown people in the US right now. So let's watch this video that helps us understand Canada it is called "The Great White North". And you know they don't call it the "Great White North" for nothing!
The group then watches the video.
Don:Elon you are half Canadian, are all Canadians this stupid.
Elon: Well it is true that most CDN men are obsessed with only two things, hockey and beer, and they are particularly happy when you combine both of those things at once!
JD: That's right to get the right racial balance in the US, we just have to figure out a way to take Canada over.
Don: Nope I don't like that idea, I would sooner have folks from Norway emigrate to the US.
Elon: Sorry chief we ran an algorithm of Norwegians and none of them want to emigate to the US.
Don: How about the Swedes?
Elon: Nope, same deal.
Don: What about that country that has that weird capital name Hellsanka.
Elon: You mean Finland.
Don: Yup
Elon: Nope
JD: How about France, they're white aren't they?
Don: JD get with the program, but maybe this idea has some merit, but I'll get some advice from Vlad. Don makes a quick call. And gets back to group.
Don: Vlad says it is pretty easy really you just have buy off a national celebrity and get them elected in the country and then you can get them to do anything. I'll give Wayne a call.
Don: Wayne I'd like to make you an offer you can't refuse, how would you like to be the Governor of Canada.
Wayne: Sorry Don I hate speaking in public, but have you got any need for a celebrity endorsement for a product. One thing you might want to consider though to soften Canadians up is figure out a way for them to get access to more hockey on TV for free.
Don: Wayne's idea is great, I know who to call.
Jeff: So what's up Don?
Don: Wayne had this great idea of using hockey to soften up the Canadians can you help me out on this Jeff.
Jeff: That's a great idea Don, I think we could offer hockey on Prime on Mondays, and to get all of north America to buy in, we could feature CDN/US teams.
Don: Shit here comes Marco with the KFC. We never had this conversation, right boys!