[31] Craving Attention

One-Line Summary: Finding a balance between seeking attention or love and taking care of oneself and others.

One Paragraph Summary

Craving attention or love is a common human experience that stems from the innate need for connection and validation. It can manifest in different ways, such as seeking attention from others, constantly seeking approval, or feeling a need for constant affection from others. While it's normal to have these desires, it's important to recognize when they become excessive or overwhelming, as they can have a negative impact on mental health and well-being. It's important to find a balance between seeking attention or love and taking care of oneself, building healthy relationships, and engaging in activities that bring personal fulfillment. If the craving for attention or love becomes excessive, it may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.

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People seek attention for various reasons, like:

• To feel validated or to boost their self-esteem.
• To fit in with a particular social group or to feel like they belong.

Additionally, social media and technology have made it easier for people to seek attention by sharing their lives online and connecting with others virtually.

However, it's important to note that the desire for attention is not always a negative thing. Many people enjoy the attention and love they receive from friends and family, and it can be a source of joy and support.

However, when the desire for attention becomes excessive and leads to negative consequences, it may indicate deeper underlying issues such as low self-esteem or anxiety.

“Have you ever wondered why we can be addicted to attention, lies, and drama?” (Tugaleva, 2017)

The desire for love and affection is a natural human need as they provide a sense of security, comfort, and fulfillment, and they can be essential for our emotional and mental well-being.

For many people, love and affection serve as a source of:

• Validation, helping them to feel appreciated, valued, and worthy.
• Motivation, inspiring people to be their best selves and to strive for more in life.

In some cases, people who have experienced rejection, neglect, or abandonment in their childhood may be particularly susceptible to a strong desire for love and affection.

In these cases, the need for love and affection may be a way to compensate for past experiences and to seek a sense of security and comfort.

Knowing this how can manage the desire for love and attention in a healthy way:

• Practice self-care: Focus on taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can help you feel more confident and self-assured, reducing the need for external validation. Check Self-love Acts Article.
• Cultivate healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who love, support, and respect you. Focus on building meaningful connections with others, rather than just seeking attention or validation.
• Be generous and present: If craving attention is something that we all share, What about paying attention (genuinely) to yourself, to others, to the task? (Gordon-Levitt, 2019). What about being completely present, immersed in the moment and experiment flow?
• Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries and to be assertive about what you need and what you are comfortable with in your relationships. This can help prevent you from feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of.
• Develop a growth mindset: Focus on personal growth and self-improvement, rather than just seeking external validation. This can help you feel more confident and self-assured, reducing the need for external validation.
• Find alternative sources of fulfillment: Pursue hobbies, interests, and passions that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help you feel more balanced and content, reducing the need for external validation.
• Seek help if necessary: If you feel that your desire for love and attention is impacting your mental health negatively, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can help you develop coping strategies and provide support during this time.

Remember that everyone's needs and experiences are different, so what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to find what works best for you and to be kind and compassionate towards yourself.

“Experiment, learn and continue experimenting and learning.”

References and/or Recommended Resources:

• Domowski. (2016, August 25). Attention Seeking Behaviors | Patience’s Behavior Therapy | Child Therapist in Chester County, PA | Patience Domowski. Patience’s Behavior Therapy. https://patiencesbehaviortherapy.com/blog-behavior-tips/2016/8/25/attention-seeking-behaviors
• Gordon-Levitt, J. (2019). How craving attention makes you less creative | TED Talk. https://www.ted.com/talks/joseph_gordon_levitt_how_craving_attention_makes_you_less_creative
• Tugaleva, V. (2017, November 16). Why I Was Addicted to Attention, Lies, and Drama. Tiny Buddha. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/addicted-attention-lies-and-drama/

Credit to:

Vincent A. Shang for sharing the Ted Talk “How craving attention makes you less creative” (Gordon-Levitt, 2019) in the LinkedIn Global Emerging Leaders group.