30 Years - My Journey of Twists, Turns and Shame since Graduating Business School

30 years ago this month I graduated from the 美国纽约大学 - 斯特恩商学院 with an MBA.

It was the early 90’s and I was incredibly proud of having just graduated from a top tier business school. I was 25 years old and the world lay ahead of me as a wide open road of possibilities.

Well, not exactly.

The truth was that at the time of graduation (to which I did not attend) I was 10 months into my first year of marriage and my husband and I were soon to begin trying to have our first child.

Having commuted to NY for two years while in school, I was now returning permanently to my home in Connecticut and had just taken an interim job at a local non-profit in anticipation of starting my family; a choice that garnered quite a bit of judgment from my fellow classmates and a number of my peers.

Fast forward 30 years.

That interim job transitioned into a permanent role, which began a 20 year career in nonprofit fundraising and management.?

I was fortunate enough to have no trouble getting pregnant, and had two sons before divorcing in 2004, a transition that began a powerful and transformational journey back to myself.

Over those years I navigated life as a single mother, and all of the challenges that come with it.

Despite my pedigree, I was a woman in a career and industry that afforded me nominal compensation,

I was facing the financial complexities that come with divorce,

and I was raising two children as a young, single mother.

They were hard years,

really hard.?

At the same time, I was carrying so much shame and embarrassment,

wondering how a “girl like me” with a “pedigree like mine” could have gotten to that place.

I felt so small and worthless,

ruminating on what could’ve, should’ve and was supposed to be.

I didn’t feel worthy of my Stern MBA, yet at the same time it was the one thing that sat deeply inside me as the core of what was possible. It was the source of whatever courage and confidence I had. When people found out that I had this degree, they took me seriously and believed in my potential.

But because of my shame I didn’t engage as an alum. I had stayed away thinking that my life and career journey were inadequate, and that I was in no way exemplifying what an alum should be.

Then, in 2017, when my youngest son graduated from high school and left for college, I sold my house and began a career transition to align with my passion for supporting people to design lives they love and develop as leaders.?

I had started my own private coaching practice, Unfolding , years before; a practice devoted to supporting women navigating complex transitions in their lives, personally and professionally.

Now I would join a boutique consulting firm, InspireCorpsCo where I would be working for a team of incredible women whose vision is to radically change the workplace through activating inspiration as a fuel for balancing performance excellence and wellbeing.?

It was at this point that I did the hard work to let go of my shame, reclaim my power, and reimagine what was possible for myself.

I realized that I could not be the only woman out there with an MBA from a top tier business school whose life had not gone as planned. And in fact, whose life had evolved in extraordinary and unexpected ways giving her experiences, gifts and talents far beyond her imagination.?

So after 25 years, with as much courage as I could muster, I reached out to Stern's Office of Alumni Affairs and asked if I could get involved as a woman alum, and I was immediately invited to sit on the Stern Women in Business Council (SWIB).

Over the past few years that I have served on SWIB, my life has been expanded in so many ways. I am now part of a wonderful community of extraordinary women; they are smart, interesting and fun; each has a unique and powerful journey of her own. I am still serving today and am lucky to call many of them my friends.

I sit here reflecting today and can’t believe it has been 30 years;

choosing to share my story now as a reminder for all of us,

and especially so that every one of you will know that you are not alone.?

I don’t know anyone whose life has gone exactly as planned,

and who hasn’t had twists, turns and shame mixed in.??

I have done incredible things,

added tremendous value,

and supported thousands of women as they build lives and careers that align to what matter most.

I am deeply grateful, and proud of having gotten my MBA,

and to have the honor and privilege of being a part of SWIB and the wonderful community of women I have met.?

I am also deeply grateful for the life and career that I have worked so hard to create,

it is perfectly imperfect.?

These 30 years have been the unfolding of my life,

and while the journey is not yet over,

I wouldn’t change a thing.?