30 Things I’ve Learned By 30.
Am I adulting yet?
Who wears jeans at the beach?
I am 30 years old and depending who you talk to I’m either an old man or a baby.
People over 30 say that 30 is young. People under 30 are terrified.
Perception is reality.
How does it feel to turn 30?
Age is just a number.
The past decade has been a roller coaster of fun, hurt, pain, growth, and experiences. It’s those memories and how they shaped me into who I am today. That’s what turning 30 feels like.
What did I learn?
People..humanity..life..the world..business.. and more.
1. You are the average of the people you spend your time with.
You’ve heard that quote that goes something like “You’re the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with”?
It is true. When I look back on my life there’s a direct correlation between my growth and who my circle was at the time.
Surround yourself with people who party, you are somebody who parties.
Surround yourself with high achievers, you become a high achiever.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
2. The sooner you stop letting the judgement of others affect you, the sooner you can listen to your own voice and make your own decisions.
We’ve all heard quotes that say “stop caring what other people think” or “Don’t give a fuck about other peoples opinions about you.” While this is partially true you can take this a step further.
Don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions of you, but at the same time respect the shit out of them.
Not everyone who has an opinion of you is out to hurt you. There are people in your life who love you and want to help you. If they have an opinion, it is worth hearing. Even if they don’t come from a best place, there may still be something to learn. Try to be open and objective.
What you do with these opinions is totally up to you. Just remember that nobody knows YOU as well as you know you. They can’t read your mind. They don’t know whats going on. Only you do.
3. Most people buy things they can’t afford to impress people they don’t give a fuck about.
Leasing a BMW with a high monthly payment to improve your perceived social status.
Buying expensive name brand clothes
Getting plastic surgery to look more like Kyle Jenner to increase your Instagram following and likes.
Buying a house you can’t afford in a nice neighborhood so you can brag to your friends and family that you’ve made it.
These are just a few examples that all share one thing in common:
It comes from a place of insecurity.
Most people have deep seeded insecurities and they try to mask them with shiny new objects. This leads to social validation that justifies these actions and thus confirms that they should keep performing those actions. It’s a viscous cycle.
DISCLAIMER I’m NOT saying that it’s bad to buy expensive things or get plastic surgery or any of that. As long as you’re truly doing it because it makes you happy. I’m speaking to those who perform the actions from a place of insecurity and seeking validation.
In my opinion, living your life this way is a sure way to live a life unhappy. Chasing the next “big toy” will put you on a never ending path to seek validation and happiness.
You’ll never get there.
Instead, make decisions for YOU. Even if they’re not popular or trendy.
4. People are inherently good.
I wrote a piece about a year ago on Optimism Versus Pessimism.
Essentially, viewing the world optimistically will naturally lead to a much more fulfilling life than viewing the world as something bad.
This is both more important and more difficult than ever.
We are experiencing a global pandemic
We are experiencing historic racial reform in America and the world.
Yemen is going through one of the worst humanitarian crisis in over 100 years.
America is more divided than ever.
We lost Kobe this year.. (I cried)
etc. etc.
It would be easy to view humanity as inherently bad.
Bare with me for a second.
Our ancestors who lived thousands of years ago were part of tribes. There was unity, connection, love for one another, and more.
Those tribes evolved into complex societies with their own unique cultures. Its quite amazing what homo sapiens have accomplished in such a short amount of time (relative to the age of planet earth)
Globalization and technology have brought us together while simultaneously shifting the very fabric of what a tribe was to our ancestors. We may feel more alone than ever in 2020, but I believe we will adapt to the times and come together because it’s in our DNA.
Speaking of DNA. Babies.
When we’re born we are a sack of meat with a brand new brain. The DNA in babies is millions of years old.
All babies want to do is have fun, be loved, and be happy.
Babies don’t see color or race
Babies don’t have ulterior motives.
Babies aren’t evil.
While there are a very small % of humans who are born with defects like sociopathy or mental illness that lead to evil traits, the large majority are born good.
Humans are good creatures.
5. The Human Brain & Mind are far more advanced than we think.
Think of the human brain as a computer.
Some computers have more or less processing power than other computers.
Some humans have a higher or lower IQ/EQ than other humans.
Computers have software that make it run efficiently and effectively.
Humans have the mind/soul, personalities, and beliefs in order to live efficiently and effectively.
You can upgrade a computers software.
You can upgrade a humans software
For more on this check out one of my favorite authors Benjamin Hardys book Personality isn’t permanent.
You are much more capable than you think.
You were born a genius.
You need to upgrade your software to realize your full potential.
6. You can’t read minds. Stop judging others.
I previously said not to let others judgement affect you because you can’t read that person’s mind. Same thing on the flip side.
You don’t truly know who somebody is.
You don’t know what series of events in their life led them to be the person they are or make the decisions they make.
When you judge someone, you are boxing them in or labeling them into a group of people like them you’ve met and experienced. Your world view is different from their world view.
Instead of judging — listen.
Hear them out. What events in their life lead them to this very moment? How can you help them? How can you lift them up? If you can’t help them, then at the very least don’t judge them.
Unity > Division.
7. YOLO
You only live once.
Did you know that the odds of being born a human are 400 Trillion to 1?!
If you’re reading this, then you won the fucking lottery.
Congratulations.
I once volunteered at a senior center. People ranged from their 80’s to 100+. Most of them had maybe a few years or months left. They shared their stories willingly.
What I found was that people regretted the things they DIDN’T do more than the things they did.
I wish I asked Mary Jane out on a date..
I wish I started that business..
I wish I traveled more..
I wish I was a better mother/father..
I wish I was a better son.. A better grandson..
I wish I didn’t let that stupid fight ruin our friendship.. We haven’t spoke in 70 years..
I wish.. I wish..
When it’s your time to to sign out, game over.
8. Remember that you are going to die — Memento Mori
I’ll leave you with this quote from Steve Jobs.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
― Steve Jobs
You have one shot at this strange thing called life. Give it your all.
9. Climate change is real. Global warming is caused by humans.
If you don’t believe this, then please get educated on this topic. There are thousands of scientific articles as well as 98% of the scientific community agreeing that humans are destroying the planet.
If we don’t take drastic measures in the next 10 years, our children and grandchildren are going to suffer. Humanity will suffer.
The planet needs to rid itself of fossil fuel, dependence on coal, and embrace renewable technology
Cars and planes need to go 100% electric.
The agricultural / farming industry needs to end. I’m NOT saying you need to go Vegan. In the future you can get your meat from animal cells grown in a lab. It will be healthier, tastier, cheaper than the meat off the slaughter of an animal.
(..And a final note. If you don’t believe in global warming/climate change, what if you’re wrong? Because, if I’m wrong, that would mean we have a bright future ahead of us. But if you’re wrong, humanity may cease to exist. Are your beliefs worth that risk?)
10. You can be both intelligent and ignorant
When I was younger I was flabbergasted at how many smart people I knew, or looked up to, had really disgusting views on things. Just because you’re smart, doesn’t mean your beliefs, moral compass, or perception of reality is smart.
11. Travel More
The planet is beautiful. Immerse yourself in new cultures. It will help you grow as a person.
12. Read More
Whether you physically read or use a service like audible, invest some of your time in consuming information, stories, etc.
Spend less time scrolling Instagram, less time watching mindless videos, less time watching Netflix.
13. Meditate More
Give it a try.
Read more on the benefits of meditation
14. Work out More
Running, walking, lifting, yoga, pilates, cross fit, sports, whatever it is, try and do 30 minutes a day.
I know it may seem obvious, but in times of stress, when I’m NOT working out, I’m more stressed. It’s no fun.
15. Eat Clean
While I have a plant based diet and I’m not saying you should have a plant based diet, I would say try and cook your own meals, avoid processed foods and sugars, and avoid fast food. Embrace whole foods.
You are what you eat.
I’ve been on lows where I’ll eat pizza and del taco every single day and when I look back on those times all it did was give me a quick dopamine rush followed by regret. That shit is designed to make you addicted.
Why, chemically, McDonalds is addictive.
16. Be 100% Honest and Transparent with yourself
The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself. If you lie to yourself, you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, you’re lost.
I read a book by Ray Dalio called Principles.
His very first principle goes like this:
“1. Embrace Reality and Deal With It
1.2: Truth, an accurate understanding of reality, is the essential foundation for any good outcome.
1.4a: Don’t get hung up on your views about how things should be because then you’ll miss out on learning how they really are.
1.4c: Evolution is the single greatest force in the universe; it is the only thing that is permanent and it drives everything.
1.4d: Evolve or die.
1.5: Evolving is life’s greatest accomplishment and its greatest reward.
1.6b: Remember “no pain, no gain” Evolution won’t always feel good.
1.7: Pain + Reflection = Progress. If you can develop a reflexive action to psychic pain that causes you to reflect on it rather than avoid it, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving. If you push through this process of personal evolution, you will naturally ascend to higher and higher levels. Go towards the pain rather than avoid it. The quality of your life will depend on the choices you make at those painful moments.
1.8: Weigh second and third-order consequences. Often the first order consequences are the temptations that cost us what we really want, and can be the barriers that stand in our way.
1.10a: Think of yourself as a machine operating within a machine and know that you have the ability to alter your machines to produce better outcomes.
- 10c: Distinguish between you as the designer of your machine and you as a worker with your machine.” — Ray Dalio.
You may not like yourself fully. I know I don’t at times. But if you are honest with yourself you can CHANGE and become someone you like.
17. Build your dream life with a significant other
Full disclaimer: I can’t speak from personal experience on this. I’ve had 2 serious relationships lasting a combined 3 years. I take the blame for how they ended and the hurt I put on those two women. (One of my “decade goals in my 30's” is to achieve what I speak of in this point.. More on this in a future post)
This point comes from mentors, friends, and people I look up to who have already done it.
People like Bill Gates, Tony Robbins, Tom Bilyeu, then a few close friends who are doing it. Life is just overall better when you’re building it with a partner in crime.
18. One night stands suck.
Full disclaimer: I CAN speak on this from personal experience. Being a “fuck boy” or a “fuck girl” does not make you feel fulfilled, enlightened, or happy. It makes you feel empty, numb, and gross (Goodbye college days!)
19. Online dating is a giant social experiment
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, etc.
What even is online dating? You download a square from the rectangle in your hand, that square pops up pictures of men and women and you then judge them on their looks.
I’m not here to bag on these platforms, I know people who have found significant others, gotten married. Heck, I met my last girlfriend on Tinder!
Dating platforms are tools. How you use those tools are up to you. If you’re looking for a significant other, you may find them. If you’re looking for a one night stand, you’ll definitely find someone. If you’re looking to chat with a stranger, yup you’ll find them.
I’ve downloaded and deleted these apps more times than I can count. ˉ\_(ツ)_/ˉ
The final 10 things I’ve learned are around business, entrepreneurship, and leadership. I’ve been running a company for about a year now.
20. There are few entrepreneurs, and many wantreprenuers.
Entrepreneur has become a buzz word.
You see those ads on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, on “How I made 8 figures working from home only 4 hours a week while driving a Lambo at 19 years old” Those ads are annoying as shit.
Here’s a really good definition of what an entrepreneur actually is.
Entrepreneurship is the pursuit of opportunity beyond resources controlled. In other words, the entrepreneur is anyone who spots an opportunity and decides to pursue it regardless of the resources currently at their disposal. They see what could be and find a way to make it happen, even if they don’t have everything on hand to do so right now. It’s a leap — a risk — but someone has to take such leaps if we want to develop innovative new products, build better organizations, and keep our companies and the larger economy strong and healthy.
A wantreprenuer is just that. They want.
They want to take control of their lives.
They want to own a business.
They want to make a lot of money.
They want to live a lavish lifestyle.
They don’t want a boss.
They want to be the boss.
Being an entrepreneur, or business owner, is hard as fuck.
I’ve been running my company for a little over a year and it’s BY FAR the most pain I’ve ever experienced. The lows are EXTREMELY low.
But then the highs are EXTREMELY high. It’s a roller coaster to say the least.
21. Being a business owner isn’t as glamorous as the internet makes it out to be.
Elon Musk, serial entrepreneur and billionaire business owner said something along the lines of “Starting a company is like chewing on glass and staring in the abyss.
As somebody who is a year into this journey I can confirm that he is right. I spend 7 days a week putting out fires. There’s really nothing sexy about it.
The lambos.. watches.. gucci bags.. private jets.. those are all marketing stunts. People flex on Instagram to grab your attention and sell you a course on how to make money online.
22. There are a lot of fake gurus in the “make money online” space.
Back to influencers flashing their lambos, watches, gucci, private jets, hot chicks, etc.
People often tie materialistic wealth with owning a business.
They promise that if you click the link, watch the free webinar, and buy their course for $997, you too, can have what they have.
Before you yell SCAM! Hear me out.
Yes there are people who use manipulative tactics to get you to click and buy something. These people may or may not know what they’re talking about.
There are also people who are legit. They found a way to make money online, and they want to share this with the world. It would be stupid of them to give this away for free.
This is part of how I got started. In fact, I spent over $20,000 in 2019 on courses. Some burned me, some helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. (Shout out Sebastian & Bryan at Agency Hyper Growth. If you’ve ever wanted to start a digital marketing agency, these guys are the real deal. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them!)
23. Invest money in coaches, courses, mentors
“But Michael, aren’t there a lot of scammers out there?”
Yeah sure, but the only way you’re going to upgrade your life 10 or 100x is by learning from somebody who’s already done it.
These people are high achievers, and they aren’t going to teach you for free.
You need to INVEST in yourself by INVESTING in a mentor/coach or even a course to teach you a skill.
I invested over $20,000 in 2019 on coaches/mentors and courses. If I didn’t, I’d still be stuck at my day job dreaming of the day I’d start my own business.
24. Your business is a mirror into your mind
Are you healthy? Happy? Thriving? Growing?
If yes, then your business is also healthy happy thriving and growing.
Are you distracted? Unhappy? Unmotivated? Lazy? Unproductive?
If yes, then your business is failing.
Your business is a direct reflection of you.
The ONLY way to run and grow a successful business is to be 100% committed. If you lie to yourself, if you cut corners, if you aren’t pushing the boundaries, if you’re a wantreprenuer, then your business will fail.
If you’re not 100% in, you’re 100% out.
25. The reason why 99% of businesses fail.
You’ve heard the saying that 99% of businesses fail within the first year? It couldn’t be more than true.
Referring to point number 24, your business is a reflection of you.
If you don’t hold yourself 100% accountable.
If you can’t handle criticism, blame, or micro-failures.
If you don’t work your FACE off.
If you don’t work on yourself (habits, personal growth, etc)
Then your business will fail
I don’t say all of this to scare you. It’s just the reality of the situation. I think everybody should try to start their own business. If it fails, it’s not the end of the world!
26. Failure doesn’t mean death.
I started my digital marketing agency Z4 Solar in early 2019.
Every day I had to put out a fire. Many days in the early stages of my company I didn’t know if it would work. Failure was right around the corner.
What I learned quickly and with the help of mentors/coaches was to not stress or overthink.
When you stress, you stop making decisions. When you stop making decisions you don’t progress.
When you overthink, you overcomplicate simple things. Your business needs to be taken in small steps that add up to the grand vision. Don’t try to reach that vision in a week, it won’t happen.
How do I stay calm, focused, and productive?
Whenever I was in those lows, those scary moments, I would imagine myself as a heart surgeon or a Marine.
Dr. Zampiglia, this patient has a 50% survival rate, if you make one micro mistake, they will die.
Sergeant Zampiglia, I need you to lead your platoon into battle. It is up to you to bring these men and women home. *Gunshots in distance*
Holy Shit.
If my business fails, I won’t get sick, I won’t die.
If my business fails, I won’t make other people sick or make other people die.
If I make mistakes, who fucking cares.
I have nothing to lose.
Everything to gain.
27. It is okay to work a 9–5
One of my drivers for leaving the 9–5 lifestyle to running a business was that I hated having a boss, being told what to do, and not having complete control over my destiny. When I was running my company similtaniously with a day job i really hated the 9–5 lifestyle.
Looking back, it is OKAY to have a 9–5! Job security, less risk, less stress, a biweekly paychecks.
At my last day jobs I was in sales. I worked maybe 30 hours a week, worked from home 2–3 days a week, and made six figures. It wasn’t a bad gig. When a family memeber was sick and needed me and I was out of vacation days, they didn’t allow me to take those days, I had to take them unpaid. Was it worth the money they were paying me to tell me I can’t take care of family?
28. People want to feel valuable, worthwhile, and important.
I had a professor in college who would always say that in order to be an effective manager or leader you need to empower people to feel valuable, worthwhile, and important.
Being the CEO and having a growing team under me is bringing this into light.
Management is hard as fuck. People are complicated. Much more complicated than the actual work.
There are so many horrible bosses out there and the biggest reasons people hate their jobs. (Bad management worse than the job itself)
You need to praise in public
Criticize in private.
Empower your employees to grow personally and professionally.
Pay them what they’re worth.
Allow them to make mistakes without fear of getting attacked.
If you do this then they will be loyal, hard working, and be the key to your business’s success.
29. Learn how to recover from these six things.
- Technology
- People
- Work
- Food
- Fitness
- Being Awake
Technology
We are addicted to technology. I’ve written a lot about this. You need to manage how you use technology.
Some tips:
Spend a few hours over the weekend not checking your phone. Go on a hike, go on a drive, go hang out with friends but don’t bring your phone. This will help you be more present.
Put your phone in another room when you sleep. Use a separate alarm like Alexa, Google, old school alarm, etc. When you wake up you will then not check Instagram. You can then be PROACTIVE about your intentions for that day versus REACTIVE to whatever your phone tells you to do.
People
Being around people isn’t a bad thing. But not spending time being alone with your thoughts is bad. You need time to recover from people in social settings.
Work
I’m a workaholic so this one is important for me. If all you do is work, think about work, breath work, then your life fucking sucks.
Take breaks.
Do something fun.
Just chill out.
Sip a whiteclaw if you’re into that.
Food
As an Italian I’m a foodie, and it can be easy to just snack all day. Food drains energy if you don’t consume it right.
Don’t do it.
Fitness
If you don’t give your body a break from fitness, then you won’t see results. Give each muscle group 48 hours to rest.
HIIT (High Intesity Interval Training is AMAZING)
Hot Yoga
Give yourself variety to keep it fun.
Sleep
Sleep is a big one. I’m a minor insomniac and getting more than 4 hours a sleep of night takes consistent and constant effort.
I wear an Oura ring to track my sleep. It helps.
Learn what your chronotype is. Try and make your sleep schedule around your chronotype and do it consistently for better sleep.
Recover from these six things, and your life will be so much better.
30. Discovery your why
Why are you on this planet? What is your purpose? What is the meaning of life?
These are tough questions but the sooner you find your purpose (your “why) then sooner you can take steps to design your dream life.
I HIGHLY recommend reading the book The Buddha and the Badass — The Secret Spiritual Art of Succeeding At Work by Vishen Lakhiani.
Vishen teaches you how to uncover your SOULPRINT.
But also try shit.
Sometimes it can be a process of elimination.
Take that new job.
Go on that trip.
Change your major in college.
Try shit.
You’ll probably find out you don’t like a lot of things. That is good! Eventually you’ll narrow it down into a few things you like. You’ll then find that thing or things you LOVE. Once you find that, learn how to make it a career, your business your life, your passion. Your meaning. Your purpose.
— — —
Also when you turn 30, you need to match your socks. I never matched my socks in my 20’s. I’m a big boy now ;)
Thank you for reading this article! I haven’t publically written like this in a while and it felt good. If you have any questions or want me to go deeper on any of these points find me on my socials (@zampig Instagram, [email protected]) and we can chat! You’re awesome. :)