30 Lessons by 30

? 360 Degree Feedback: you need to let your boss know what you expect of them! This is a two way street, not a dictatorship. Do you want career progression? Make sure they set you up for that. This is YOUR career and YOUR life, be damn sure you are the one navigating it.

? Mind Your Business: Early in my career I was always in competition with other people wanting to be the best and getting heated when others got awards/promotions they didn't deserve at times. Once I started to focus on nothing but myself my career took off.

? Yelling Doesn't Work: I never yelled at my airmen/employees but I did see other people who used that method. Very few times does it scare them into whatever it is you want. Instead, I use the "disappointed mom talk"...it's much more effective. Think about it, seriously. When your parents yelled at you it had much less impact than when they hit you with the "you disappointed me" line. You can craft that into more of an adult version and it's much more effective than yelling.

? Set Boundaries/Say No: People like to take advantage of others, it just is what it is. It's your responsibility to ensure that people don't do that to you. If you are really nice, you are susceptible to not knowing how to say no to people that want to pawn things off on you. This takes away time which can then take away your efficiency. You are the one responsible for this, so ensure your not getting swamped with other people's work, which in turns takes time away from your own. This is something I've learned from observation of others. If you're a leader or manager seeing this happen to your people, step in and stop it and then tell your employee why they need to build a resistance to that crap.

? Mental Health > Money I was at a job that paid well, but my mental health was suffering along with nearly everyone else at that company (terrible treatment and morale). I had a big choice to make: quit or get back onto my anxiety medication... & once I hit that breaking point I knew enough was enough. I'd be damned if a company was going to stress me out to the point where I needed medication to cope. That's asinine. BEST CHOICE of my career! I felt liberated and intuitively knew I made the right choice even though I did not know if the next job would pay as well and that a few months of being unemployed might suck financially...it was #worthit

? Learn from people what NOT to do. Some of my very best lessons were from working for or around people who I wanted to be nothing like. Be cognizant of how others react to these people and why being the opposite is the way to go.

? SLOW DOWN!!! I was always fast at getting things done, still am really. However one day as an airmen working on jet engines, I was going super quick on something and missed a step. My flight chief called me up at what was probably 2am once they realized what happened. Guess who had to hurry up and get their tail to work and fix it? This girl lol. From that moment on I pumped the brakes. My supervisor did not even have to rip into me because he could see it written all over me I was going to do more beating up on myself than he ever could. Never did that again though! Lesson in slowing down is that it is much more important to be thorough than the "fastest".

? Interviews are two way street. Make sure you interview them as well, because you want to make sure that company is also good for you and your career. If they ask me my weakness I tell them verbatim "I don't do well with micro-management at all" because if that's how they do things I don't want to be a part of it and they wouldn't want to deal with my reaction to it so it's a Win-Win that we all know that from the beginning.

? If you're a hiring manager, don't throw out a great candidate over a mediocre interview. For the example: on paper this guy was great, but his interview was only so-so because he was nervous and had a lot riding on this job. Most would have held that against him and I didn't. Hired him and he ended up being one of our best assets.

? Stop Hoarding. You ever have a boss that just wouldn't let anything go? (Such as a responsibility or task that could be helped with) This is exactly what I am referring to. Not only does this scream "I don't trust you to take this" or "I don't think your smart enough"...it also SCREAMs I have terrible leadership & delegation skills and I have zero concern about your growth. Fix it or do not have direct reports.

Bonus ? Stop Hoarding 2.0 : Whether up the steam, down the stream, or laterally...hoarding important information that could be useful to everyone is a selfish move and it shows poor character, period.

? Personal Time, take it. I've always made this a top priority, however I see others who don't and those same people are burnt out and usually less efficient. You cannot pour from an empty cup. The world isn't going to stop, because you took a vacation...let's be serious. You only have one life to live and it isn't to just work and die, so go enjoy some time off. Your leaders should encourage it and if you are a leader you should encourage your people to as well, don't be selfish.

? Brevity is beautiful. When a man or woman can use few (but powerful) words to get a point across, they are not only more effective, but also more liked by the masses. People who talk just to hear themselves talk (we all know them) are frankly the worst & people will start tuning out even if the message is important, because they get use to these people dragging everything out unnecessarily.

? Trust BUT verify I learned this from one of my favorite leaders/boss in the military. He showed me there was nothing wrong with trusting your airmen/employee yet still verifying their work (at times). It covers your 6 as well as theirs. Some may think it's a conundrum, but in all actuality it's pretty black and white. Trust your people but verify when needed. It provides learning opportunities for everyone involved.

? You can't please everyone. Thusly, do what's best for you and yours.

? Be open to mentors at every stage of your career and it is ok to have new ones who teach you different perspectives.

? Network your a** off! It is one reason I was able to get into some of the great opportunities I have in my career. It has also helped others I care about too, from knowing someone who could help them out.

? Humility. I use to think it was beneath me to admit my faults. Now I'm all about it, only because I've grown from those fails and missteps. It makes me much more approachable as well, I suggest getting some if you have none. It does the soul good...

? Pick up on vibes. There are many people out there that do not pick up on social cues or vibrations, I accept that not everyone is gifted with empathy...however, you can actively try to notice whether or not a coworker, boss, or employee is acting "off". Once you then notice this you can offer an ear or just let them know you're there if needed. You'd be surprised how far that goes. Some people's day can be made just knowing someone cares, so don't be above that because frankly you're not.

? Use your words. Open your mouth! If you see a process that could be streamlined or done better, say something. Stop being apart of the problem by letting things continue on the way they always have (if it ain't working) which segues to my next lesson...

? "If you have a problem, you better bring a solution too" as my favorite leader would say. Complaining just to gripe is annoying and not helpful, however bringing up problems with possible solutions is the way to go about making change. Yes of course there are times where you may not have an answer, but there should be a high amount of effort put in to try to come up with one.

? Camaraderie will never be the same as it was in the military. It is a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. It's not to say that civilians don't have good teamwork, but in the military when you work with people it's like you are literal family...at work and outside of it. What they feel you feel, you all go through it whether home or work. It's hard to explain, but I am done searching for it on the civilian side and I will just be appreciative I had that amazing bond with people at least once in my life. It is something to aspire to though and it is one of the reasons why our military is the best in the world

? Sacrifice. Sometimes you're going to need to skip that party, reschedule a date, and miss out on a concert (you catch my drift)...because you need to obtain a goal. I did sacrifices "some" personal time (not all trust me on that) to do what I needed to do to improve my life. Studying for rank, taking classes to graduate, and willingly working a 28 hour day to ensure jets got in the air (civilian job)...these are examples that were 100% worth it, because now at 30 yrs old I am on the trajectory I want to be for where I am going. Obviously not stopping here. Prioritize, just don't go overboard with it and take away too much time from your loved ones. Find balance because I don't care what anyone says, if I can do it there is no reason you cant #period

?Treat "higher ups" like humans, do not be scared of them. I have more experience than most in this arena, so I feel like I can say this with the upmost confidence...it makes you look weak to these type of people when you cower. They won't respect you if you do that & brown nose #period

?Treat janitors, admins, secretaries, & other staff the SAME way (or better) you would a "higher up". It shows a lack of character when you treat people as if they are beneath you & it's insanely disrespectful.

?When you gain a position of what some would deem "power" do not abuse it and let it get to your head. We have all seen it time and time again, so stay humble and don't forget where you came from.

? Recognize your people. Thank you's go a long way but let's go one step further and give people what they want >>>

? Not everyone receives appreciation the same way. Some people want an award, some people want praise, some people would rather just have money & none of them are wrong for it. You need to know your folks, not everyone is the same much like training styles, etc.

? Listen to your intuition. Whether it be hiring someone, letting someone go, or a career move...you know deep down what the right thing is, so go with that. I can say from not listening to it, it has done me more harm than good...now I listen.

? Change Management is much harder than some make it out to be. It is actually one of the hardest things to gain traction that I have seen no matter what work environment I have been in. This is due to leadership not following through from the top down on said change. Without top buy-in, you are in for an unnecessary fight #period

? One Team, One Fight...as they say in my beloved Air Force. It truly is a statement all should implement for success within their business. WE, not I. WE are ALL going for the same goal, let us ACT like it. & Last but NOT least

? NO one & I mean NO ONE, looks out for YOU better than YOU. You are responsible for your success. You are responsible for your life. Take control & make it happen. Do what is best for you & your career. Do not let others live vicariously through you and do not let others damper your career.

Hope these lessons can help others as they have for me. Please feel free to share with people of ANY age or stage of their career.