3 Ways to Walk Away without Looking Like a Failure

3 Ways to Walk Away without Looking Like a Failure

The following is adapted from Trash the Trophies.

I opened Stage Door Dance Productions in Raleigh, North Carolina, in June 2009—right smack dab in the middle of the housing crisis and recession. My ego was youthfully strong, and nothing was going to get in my way. I threw myself—and my students—into competitive dance with unmatched fervor.

But after a few years, I had grown tired of the competitive attitudes, the emphasis on winning, and the tears of children who felt they weren’t “measuring up.” I realized that the pieces of my professional life that spoke to me most had nothing to do with winning trophies. They involved empowering and inspiring others through the performing arts. 

So I walked away. I rebranded my studio around the values of service, performance, experience, and empowerment. And I couldn’t be happier. 

When I tell people about leaving the competitive dance industry, the number-one question I receive is: Weren’t you afraid of what others would think? Yes. Absolutely. I was terrified. But there’s a point where the commitment to the cause is greater than the fear of criticism, and I reached that point. 

We often think of walking away as a sign of failure, but in some cases, walking away is actually a form of strength. If you strategically prepare, confidently communicate, and passionately believe in the outcome, I guarantee you will come out stronger on the other side. 

1. Strategically Prepare

During strategic preparations, it is important to identify your ideal outcome with a major transition or change. 

For my journey, I needed to first make sure the root of the problem was actually what I perceived it to be. I sat down and made a list of all of the toxic aspects of competitive dance to verify that, yes, the problem was a byproduct of the culture perpetuated within the competitive dance industry and not some other type of influence or source. If you want to improve your situation, you have to take an in-depth inventory and get to the bottom of the problem. 

Second, I needed to research and activate ways I could replace the positive components of the competitive dance industry so that I could still offer reputable training for our dancers interested in pursuing dance/performing-arts education at a more intense level. It’s easy to complain, but moving on requires you to find a solution. Don’t get fixated on the problems; use them as a stepping stone toward solutions. 

Finally, I set my sights on an ideal outcome. I knew I wanted to create a program that was a stronger, more meaningful return on investment than the competitive dance scene. If this was a successful transition, I was confident we could boost our overall enrollment, mission, and impact.

Those are the three components of strategic preparation: identify the problem, research solutions, and know your goal. That way, when you walk away, you’ll have a clear idea of what you’re walking toward. 

2. Confidently Communicate

People are programmed to resist change. Human instinct tends to lean into the fear of the unknown versus embracing the excitement of possibility. That’s an important piece to consider when you are preparing to communicate your change. While you’ve been observing, preparing, and activating strategy, the other party has continued to subscribe to the status quo. 

Here are some important strategies to use when communicating your new plan: 

Determine the appropriate medium so the information will best be received. Is it an in-person conversation, or is it better suited for a written format? What are the risks relating to miscommunication or misperception? 

Envision and practice every scenario imaginable. I always start with “What’s the worst that could happen?” From there, I practice and strategize every imaginable possibility. 

Knowledge is power, so do your backend research, so you can be prepared for questions, suggestions, thoughts, and feedback. Keep your tone even and avoid condescension, even if you feel you have been wronged.

The other party will likely want to be heard. Even if we do not agree with counter-arguments or opinions, if we listen, we gain a deeper understanding of the human condition through empathy. This helps us make better decisions and choices in the future.

Finally, be steadfast. If you are about to go through a pivot or a change, this is not the time to waver on your beliefs or actions. Be strong, confident, and committed. Frame your narrative with hope, excitement, and enthusiasm. 

Conversations about change are never easy, but if you follow these strategies, they won’t be such an uphill battle. Focus, resolve, research, and good listening skills are necessary if you want to communicate a better vision.

3. Passionately Believe in the Outcome

When we decided to make the change, I wasn’t looking for greatness. I wasn’t chasing the label of “game changer.” I simply wanted to get back to doing what I love, and I wanted to be in full control of our trajectory and direction. Take your actions, your words, and the noise that keeps you up at night and determine how you will level up, scale, and pivot a strategic vision that fits your passion and your purpose. You’ll pave a path, and you will make this world a better place. 

With purpose-driven work, there’s a stronger mental capacity for managing the chaos. As a leader and innovator, it is important to know your triggers, what you will and will not stand for, and who you truly are as a person and what you represent. There’s nothing wrong with self-advocacy, and with experience, you’ll gain wisdom regarding what’s wrong, what’s right, and what requires distance.

When you’re in the storm, remember: Conflict leads to innovation. Innovation creates change. Change brings opportunity. All will be met with varying levels of resistance. But on the other side, there is passion, vision, and success. Rev up your mission. If you feel passionate about your purpose, you will feel passionate about its outcome. 

Walk Away with Purpose

People are often terrified of change because they feel like they’ll be judged or they convince themselves that “quitting” is for losers. So, they push their personal needs and feelings to the back burner and stick with the status quo. I did that for years. I went with the flow and told myself, “If I walk away, it means I’m a failure.” 

Nothing could be further from the truth. Listening to your intuition and walking away actually requires a lot more thought, courage, and a greater sense of purpose. You should pursue what feels right, even if it contradicts the societal or industrial standard. 

If you follow these three steps, you’ll see that walking away can be powerful. When you’re prepared, clear, and passionate, you’re not just walking away. You’re walking away with a sense of purpose. You’re following the path to a better future. 

For more advice on walking away, you can find Trash the Trophies on Amazon.

As the owner and artistic director of Stage Door Dance Productions, Chasta Hamilton is reinventing the dance education model by focusing on character development and community involvement in addition to technique and performance attributes. She is the founder and president of the nonprofit, Girls Geared For Greatness, and the founder and former editor of The Dance Exec. Chasta was recognized by Triangle Business Journal as a 2014 40 Under 40, and in 2016, a Women in Business, Future Star. Proud to call North Carolina home, Chasta lives in Raleigh with her husband, John, and their Scottish terrier, Elvis.



Jennifer Durbin Tuffy, MBA, PCC

Executive Coach | Speaker | Author

4 年

What great advice Chasta Hamilton! I particularly like your call out that "walking away actually requires a lot more thought, courage, and a greater sense of purpose." So true!

回复

要查看或添加评论,请登录

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了