3 Ways to Stop Doubting Yourself

Ask Avinash Ananda?

This is a series of questions and answers where the questions are asked by participants of Avinash Ananda's "live" seminars and workshops, and the answers are transcribed from Avinash's responses.

Question from Tejas:

Avinash, how can I stop doubting myself? It happens automatically and makes me feel terrible!"?

Avinash Ananda Answers:

Doubt should not be mixed up with self-reflection. Reflecting on your areas of improvement and working on learning to be better in those areas is healthy and necessary. But doubt can be debilitating and should be eliminated. Doubt is negative energy that makes you feel bad about yourself.?

Let me share with you three ways to stop doubting yourself;

1. Develop positive self-belief.

To stop doubting yourself?you must first have faith in yourself. You must believe that you are unique and special. Unfortunately, there are many people who believe they are not good enough and even if others try to tell them to be positive and believe in themselves they still have doubts. Let me share with you a funny story.?

There was a man who believed he was a mouse. He went for treatment to a psychiatrist for ten years and finally, he was cured. The doctor asked him, " Are you sure now that you are not a mouse?" He said, " Yes, Doc! I'm sure. I believe I am not a mouse. In fact, I know I'm not a mouse. I'm a man!"?

The doctor said, "Good! Good! It's taken ten years to cure you! But better late than never! Congratulations!"?

The man left the doctor's clinic and after 30 seconds ran back into the doctor's room. The doctor was puzzled. He asked, "Why did you come back?"?

The man said frantically, " I was leaving... but in the corridor, there was a big cat! "?

The doctor said, " Oh no! But you are not a mouse anymore! You know that now, don't you?"?

So the man looked at the doctor and whispered, "Doctor, you know I am not a mouse, I know that I am not a mouse, but does the cat know that I am not a mouse?!"?

Doubt, doubt, doubt all the time!?

Krishna told Arjuna in the Bhagwad Geeta...

'Shanshayatma Vinashyati'

which is Sanskrit for...

"He who doubts, destroys himself!"?

So stop doubting yourself by believing more in yourself. Positive self-belief will destroy the doubt. Doubt the self-doubt! Choose to believe in the good in you. Even if you don't know for sure! At least it will give you confidence and help you move ahead. Replace doubt with faith. And positive action.

2. Stop comparing yourself with others.

Another way to stop doubting yourself is to stop comparing yourself with others. There is a famous example where an elephant, a bird, a fish, and a monkey were all lined up in front of a tree and the lion was going to give them a test to see who is the best amongst all of them. He finally decides to give them a test. He says, " Let's see who climbs up the tree the fastest!" Now is that a smart test? No way! You know that each animal has its own unique abilities... you cannot judge them all by their ability to climb a tree or do any one thing!?

Similarly even each human being is unique. Howard Gardner has a multiple intelligences theory which, few people know, is inspired by Shri Aurobindo also who said that every child is intelligent! They are just intelligent in different ways! Some are more musical, some are more mathematical and logical. Some are emotionally intelligent and some are more visual, artistic, or even more kinesthetic, which is about being better at sports! And many of us are intelligent in more than one way and all these can be developed even more! So we should not compare ourselves with anyone else and feel bad.?

3. Stop over-analyzing?

The third way to stop doubting yourself is to not analyze things too much. Sometimes even when we are good, we doubt ourselves because we over-think things.?

Let me share with you one more story.?

There was a frog. The frog was admiring a centipede. A centipede is an insect that’s got 100 legs, whereas a frog has only got 2 legs. The frog looks at the centipede he says "Wow!" He goes to the centipede he says "How do you do it?!"?

The centipede is surprised, and asks, "What are you talking about?"?

The frog says admiringly, "You are amazing! How can you so beautifully balance when you walk? Your 100 legs are working in such a beautiful rhythm...how, how do you do it man?! Look at me, I have only two legs and I wobble around and hop around in such an awkward way. How do you manage with 100 legs? How do you know which leg to put first and which leg to put second... Wow!!"?

The centipede says, " I don't know. I never thought about it!" And the frog goes away. The centipede starts thinking now. For the first time, he starts thinking about how he is able to walk so beautifully! He asks himself, "how do I do it? How do I put my..." & the centipede trips over his own legs and falls down! The centipede falls down because he’s thinking too much. Too much thinking is too much analysis! I call this analysis paralysis!! Extra thinking creates extra doubt. Just have faith in yourself. If something is working well for you, you don't need to overanalyze it.

So we have spoken about three ways to stop doubting yourself... the first one is to believe, the second is to stop comparing with others and realize you are unique, and the third is not to overanalyze what's working.?

Even in your work, some aspects of your job may be easier for you and some may be more difficult for you. It may be different for your friends. So believe in yourself, stop comparing with others and just put in more effort to learn what is more difficult for you and do fantastic in what's easier for you! Stop doubting yourself... not only will you be more confident but you will also be happier!?