3 ways to stop comparing yourself to others

We all do it. We look at what others have (or where they are in life) and we feel terrible about ourselves in the process. We compare, we single out what's missing, and we repeat the vicious cycle. A small dose of envy every once in a while can be productive in certain cases, but when you find yourself engaging in this sort of behavior more often than you'd like, it's time to start modifying your thinking patterns. Here are 3 steps that have helped me (after a whole lot of trial and error)

Step 1: Label the behavior

When you start comparing yourself to others, take a step back and notice this behavior. Recognize it. Label it. Shed light on it. This technique is quite similar to using awareness to battling anxiety. Once you label something and recognize it, you detach from the emotional reaction. You distance yourself from the toll it's taking on your body and mind. Instead, you begin to watch yourself instead of getting involved. It's trippy and strange, but it works. All it takes is practice. So go ahead – put a label on it.

Step 2: Replace envy with inspiration

Now that you've somewhat distanced yourself from the comparison, it's time to look at the bright side. Instead of being envious of what somebody else might have, think about what you can learn from this person and this moment. Is their career making you green with envy? Let their accomplishments inspire you. Get practical and set a realistic goal that you'd like to achieve. What skillset are you missing? Personally, I've often envied people who are well-read about a variety topics as I often feel like what I offer is very limited: series, fitness, and mental health. That's why I recently got proactive and started to make it a point to read up about politics and business - two subjects I feel I know little about. Envy is a learning opportunity, make the most of it.

Step 3: Focus on one (or two things) you have that are "better"

This sounds arrogant, it's not. It's subtly reminding yourself that you have a lot to offer. Perhaps the person on the receiving end of your jealousy is more successful in terms of job title, but maybe you have a caring spouse or closer ties to your family. Nobody has it all (although social media would love to convince you otherwise). The point of this exercise is to remind yourself of your strengths instead of focusing on your "failures". Remind yourself that every one of us is on a different journey with its own peaks and valleys. Comparing yourself will get you nowhere. In fact, it does a disservice to your unique experiences.

Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to others in an unhealthy way? What tips have helped you in the past? I'd love to know!

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