3 Ways to Start Nurturing Your Network

Unless you're a mushroom, you won't thrive in dark isolation. In fact, you'll wither away in body and spirit. Yet plenty of entrepreneurs cut themselves off from others, essentially stunting their growth and hindering their ability to achieve work-life balance.

Human connection is a critical component of personal and professional success. I've spent a lifetime building relationships in and out of the office to boost my mental and emotional health, not to mention cushion me from bearing the full brunt of the tough stuff.

Case in point: In the late 2000s, my children's toy startup teetered on the brink of closure. My co-founder and I were in over our heads. Instead of burying our heads in the sand, we bared our souls—and books—to the team we'd built. To our relief, our employees didn't run for the hills. Instead, they rose to the challenge of picking our company up off the floor. Within two years, we all celebrated at being named one of Inc.'s fastest-growing companies in the U.S. That achievement would never have happened without a heckuva lot of authentic relationships forged on trust and honesty.

My experience is supported by the research of Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a psychotherapist, and New York Times best-selling author. When asked by The Aspen Times about the importance of having a network to turn to, Dr. Bryson explains, "How we make decisions, how our whole frontal lobe functions—it's related to the quality of the connections we receive." In other words, we cannot fully function without friends.

Yes, it can be notoriously tough to find the time to cultivate friendships as an adult. But I urge you to try. You don't have to become best friends with everyone, you know. However, you should be ready to show a little vulnerability and openness.

Here's how to start connecting today:

1. Join the water-cooler yakkers.

You'll never meet anyone by sitting at your desk all day. Head out the door and find the gathering place where co-workers gab. Getting to know everyone on an informal level brings you into new spheres of influence and provides perspective. Plus, you'll be the first rather than the last to know what's going on because you won't seem elusive or walled up.

Toiling in the C-suite? It would help if you made time for water-cooler conversations. Alison Gutterman, president, and CEO of Jelmar, has made chitchat a habit by routinely stopping by to spend a few informal moments with people on her team. "Not only does this open communication between my employees and me, but it also satisfies our collective need for human connection and meaningful conversation," Gutterman says.

2. Prioritize 'we' time.

You've already heard about scheduling "me" time. Now, I'm asking you to add some "we" time to the mix. In this situation, the "we" are friends and family. Block off time in your schedule for everything from your community center's weekly basketball pickup game to your lunches with an awesome former boss. Consider those dates sacred, and try not to cancel or postpone them once they make it to your jam-packed calendar.

If you feel like this is initially a sacrifice of private moments, remind yourself that it's essential for long-term gains. As Foundr contributor Jonathan Chan notes, "Start treating your personal life like it's a job and your family as if they're important clients." And when you're in each situation, be there. Your full presence (sans phone in hand) shows you value the other person.

3. Build up your karma account.

For the next week, practice a mantra of helping whenever you can. Don't wait for someone to ask for assistance: When you see someone in need, take action. After all, you'll need the favor returned at some point, and the more karma you've accrued, the likelier it is to come back to you. You'll be amazed how many friends and colleagues will come to your rescue in your toughest moments when you've been there for theirs.

Besides, it's just appropriate and respectful to do the right thing, even if someone doesn't immediately reciprocate. Yes, it's tough to be friendly to the awkward newbie in accounting who snubs you in the elevator. But maybe she is socially uncomfortable, and your smile is what she needs to come out of her shell. Truly caring teachers often hear from troubled students decades later who claim their compassion was pivotal. Being altruistic in the moment can elicit positive ripples generations into the future.

Feel like you're behind in the friendship building department? You can't change history. Luckily, you can change the here and now. Set up breakfast with a teammate or host a dinner party for friends you haven't seen in a while. You can only get stronger in every possible way when you nurture your network.

How do you nurture your network? Please share your ideas so others can benefit. 

Interviews That Inspired Me This Week

As I was thinking about how to be better at nurturing relationships, I wanted to share an interview I did last April with Dr. Paul Corona about his book Lee's 3 Habits: A Handbook for Stronger Relationships and Greater Happiness. When interacting with others we tend to tell, talk and take too much. Telling, talking, and taking doesn't make us happier -- asking, listening and giving do. Ask, listen, and give. These three simple habits strengthen our relationships with others, and stronger relationships (not more fame, fortune, or achievement) are the real keys to greater happiness. The book is a great read and made me realize I talk too much sometimes. Get your copy. 

I sat down with Elizabeth Gilbert last month for a conversation about life love and loss. Elizabeth is best known for her 2006 memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, which as of December 2010, had spent 199 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list, and which was also made into a film by the same name in 2010. We talk about her new book, CITY OF GIRLS, that is in stores now. 

I host Power Lunch Live on LinkedIn weekdays at Noon EST. I have conversations with top CEOs, thought leaders, and best selling authors to find out their secrets to success. My LinkedIn newsletter summarizes the key takeaways from those interviews that can help us all be better at what we do. Listen, subscribe, and let me know what you think. Next week, get ready for another inspiring week of conversations with today's leaders on Power Lunch Live.