3 Ways to Develop Patience

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with many full throttle, goal-oriented, hardcore achievers. Some of these people have been very inspirational. Although, this type of intensity comes at a price. Mostly it’s a price on one’s health. When it’s go-go-go all the time, it’s challenging to truly understand the principle of patience. 

I find it funny when a CEO tells me they need me to teach them how to be a great orator in a weekend. I get it, they want to ace that shareholder meeting, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes practice and a lot of hard work to learn stage dynamics and how to capture an audience. 

If you’re a type A personality that needs to get stuff done, and you know you need to adopt a spirit of patience, then I want to share some thoughts with you. Since you always want to get somewhere in a hurry, I thought I’d share some concepts that I’ve learned over the years to help you quickly adopt a mindset of patience (even though it’s funny to use the words, “quickly” and “patience” in the same sentence). :-)

The poet, William Langland, was right when he wrote the words, “patience is a virtue.” Although, learning virtues and then living them out doesn’t need to take us a lifetime to learn. We can learn how to adopt a spirit of patience quickly. It may not be easy, but the perks are worth the effort. Plus, once you wrap your head around the rewards of patience, you’ll be able to develop the grit needed to take on the most daunting circumstances.  

Ponder these concepts when seeking more patience in your life: 

1. Make patience your top priority. Every day for 21 days, commit to making patience your #1 goal. Yes, you will want to continue to get stuff done at rapid-fire speed, but make a conscious effort to be in the present moment. By utilizing self-talk, tell yourself that you will ONLY continue a task if you can respond with a spirit of patience. It may sound simple, and it is, but don’t confuse “simple” with “easy.” This is NOT easy and it will take a lot of work.
2. Think before you open your mouth. Since I make my livelihood out of helping leaders become exceptional speakers, I’ve become a bit of a nerd when it comes to studying the craft. For me, every presidential debate is like watching the Super Bowl. I love words and the idea that we can strategically position our messages to inspire those around us to action. There is tremendous power in what we say. This power can give life, or can completely dismantle a situation. That is why it’s so important for us to think before we speak. Taking the time to properly process a response infused in wisdom, can put us in a position to give a well-thought-out, calm answer. By doing this, we will set the stage for civil discussions. You can think of it this way, hyper-reactive people are rarely seen as intellects. If you give more thought to your words, you may even end up looking like a genius.    
3. Help the less fortunate. Recently, I was coaching an executive on how to tell his story for an upcoming conference that he was going to be speaking at. I was impressed with this individual on multiple levels, but specifically his passion for helping the less fortunate. I wondered if he was raised in poverty and felt a sense of duty to give back, but that was not his story. This individual was born into wealth, but loved helping the less fortunate. He not only believed that it was the right thing to do, but he felt that he was learning something that was invaluable; he was learning patience. He told me that through a nonprofit that he ran to help the less fortunate, he saw crazy stories of people struggling to survive. After seeing so many instances of people having to decide on feeding themselves or taking medicine that they desperately need, it changed his perspective on what a “challenge”really was. He told me that “by seeing their trials, you quickly realized that you can stop worrying about most of the things that give you anguish.” Since that conversation, I’ve made an effort to get around people that are in dire circumstances. I wanted to put myself in a position to experience life through their eyes. It amazed me that impatience was the last thing on their minds; survival was. I believe that if you take this same approach, you will not only be giving back, but you’ll learn patience as well.

Often, having patience seems like a fleeting possibility that we won’t ever properly achieve. Although, if we focus and make a conscious effort for a specific period of time, it will become a part of us. Think of this, by practicing patience, your psychological, emotional, and physical wellness will benefit.