3 Transformative Changes for a Joyful Life

Hey!

I hope you're having a good week!

It's been a memorable couple of weeks since my last article. My world changed.

Our beautiful little boy was born on Saturday, 24th June. Both mom and baby are doing well. I've been lucky to witness some amazing moments in my life, but this tops it by far.

To help balance my time, I'm changing the format of these newsletters to cover one topic per week for a couple of reasons:

1. It allows me to go a little more in-depth on the topic, hopefully making it more useful to you.
2. It allows me to be a bit more efficient with my time for the immediate future.

Quote of the week:

Sometimes all you need for exceptional results is average effort repeated for an above-average amount of time.

James Clear (May 11th 3-2-1 Newsletter)

I wasn't ready to be a father. That was a moment of realization that hit me around 18 months ago.

Prior to the birth of my son, I no longer feel like I'm not ready and am currently experiencing all the feelings that come with being a new father.

Fatherhood was something that played on my mind, and I knew that if I wanted children, I needed to make some changes.

In this week's article, I reflect and share the three most effective changes I made to live a happier life and why, in doing so, I'm now in a better position to be a dad and enjoy fatherhood.

1. Energy Alignment

I was very good at energy misalignment. Those who know me well know that I give it all or nothing on most things. When I'm invested, I'm invested with everything I have, and I demand a lot from myself in terms of time and effort.

During my time freelancing, I wore all the hats. I was the producer, the director, the crew, the editor, the strategist, the copywriter, the social media manager. It was a lot. I was physically tired and still expecting myself to show up with a cheerful attitude because I thought working hard was the right thing to do.

It wasn't.

I became more and more unhappy. I couldn't tap into my creativity because I just needed to get things done, fast.

My rule of thumb now is that I'm going to be very, very happy, and then do everything I have time to do after that.

For example, this newsletter is two weeks late, and while it has been a slow burner in my drafts, my priority was to spend crucial time with my family because it's what I wanted during this period. It's what made me happy.

Did I feel like I was letting myself down on a commitment I made to myself to write a weekly newsletter? Yes.

Was it worth substituting the time I had to write this to spend time with my family instead? Yes.

In five years, would I feel silly for missing crucial time with my family to write a newsletter? Yes.

In this scenario, the reflection on the last question made me see sense of where my energy was leaning towards, and it was an easy decision to make in the end without feeling guilty.

Instead of burning the candle at both ends where I could have spent time with my family AND stayed up later, sacrificing rest, sleep, and health, I now make better decisions to keep myself in balance WITHOUT sacrificing both ends.

For me, it's longevity over any short-term satisfaction, and this rule of thumb keeps me consistently aligned with the direction of my energy.

While I believe consistent action is necessary to make progress in anything, I also believe that alignment is an important piece of this, and consistent alignment is what makes the action effective.

2. Controlling My Vibration

When we feel fear or doubt, it's because of our thinking.

I learned through many challenging experiences that we get to control how we feel because we get to choose the thoughts we think. Read that again. We get to control how we feel because we get to choose the thoughts we think.

The majority of us live life responding to the circumstances that surround us. And this is a problem because we then try to control the impossible—we try to control circumstance. I'm still often guilty of this, although I'd like to think it's less now.

When we try to control outside circumstances, it becomes frustrating, and we also put ourselves in a more vulnerable position.

Contrary to how I'd feel when I controlled my own vibration. When I practiced learning how to control my own vibration, I learned that I am able to control everything that has everything to do with me. I learned that I was able to control how I felt 99% of the time. As a result, life was easier to live and navigate instead of trying to put out fires with fire.

My point here is that reaching for the thought that feels best is just as accessible as reaching for the thought that doesn't feel as good. We have the choice to choose which thought we reach for at any given moment, which leads me to my third point: the art of allowing.

3. The Art of Allowing

Practicing the art of allowing has probably been the most powerful for me. This means reaching for the thought that feels best.

Sometimes reaching for the thought that feels best is unnatural and feels like a waste of time because there is no instant gratification. As a millennial, I’m aware that we're constantly looking for instant gratification. It's easier to reach for the thought that is real or the thought that tells it like it is, but by doing this, we close the door and remain exactly where we are.

Instead, if you reach for the thought of how you want it to be long enough, you will begin to feel it like you want it to be real. And when you want it to be real, you begin to act like it is real. And when you act like it's real, it becomes real.

There is no time limit on allowing. When I practice allowing, it's more from a place of allowing myself to consciously access more of what feels good. I'm not trying to create anything that's out of this world or unrealistic. I'm just accessing the thoughts that feel good. For example, what feels good right now is accessing the thought that someone, somewhere is reading this and finding it incredibly valuable. It's something they have never thought about before but has now been introduced into a new way of thinking that serves them better. As opposed to what the thought could have been: no one's going to care or read this, so what's the point.

You can see which thought is probably easier to access, but practicing the art of allowing will allow you to access the thoughts that feel better and, from this place, live a better life.

Aligning my energy, controlling my vibration, and allowing myself to reach for thoughts that feel better have fundamentally changed my life. It's why I no longer fear being a father. I know that from this place, I give myself, my son and my family the best opportunity to live a fulfilled life.

I reached a little milestone of 100 subscribers for this newsletter. Thank you!

It wasn't a number I considered, but I'm incredibly grateful that it's providing some value to you. ??

If you found this useful or inspiring in any way, I'd love it if you could share this with anyone whom you think might receive value from it.

Speak soon ??

Milesh