3 tips to be a Supercommunicator!
Communication is humanity’s superpower.
However, unfortunately most of us are terrible at it!
However, the good news is that it is a skill we can learn.
For example, when we are speaking it is important to recognise that we are essentially taking part in one of 3 different types of conversation:
Practical - what's this really about?
A practical conversation is usually to assess options, decide on a plan, or reach an agreement.
These types of discussions are essential for exploring potential futures, evaluating alternatives, considering ideas, and setting goals and strategies
Emotional - how do we feel?
The purpose of an emotional conversation is to deepen understanding and strengthen relationships by exploring feelings. This could involve sharing personal stories, discussing emotional experiences, or presenting individual perspectives.
Social - who are we?
Social conversations are primarily about figuring out where you fit into various groups and how you see yourself and others within those groups. These often revolve around relationships and social dynamics, such as those in the workplace.
If you don't know what kind of conversation you are having it is hard to connect.
To communicate effectively, it's crucial that you recognize what type of conversation you're having. People often enter discussions with different goals based on the conversational context. By identifying these differences, you can ensure your interactions are in sync.
Additionally, by adjusting your speaking style and tone to match the other person's preferred mode of discussion, you can improve understanding. This involves asking relevant questions, modulating your voice, and using strategic conversational techniques to better align with their perspective. Doing so enhances comprehension and strengthens your connection.
Once you have established what type of conversation you are having here are 3 tips to help you connect better:
1) Deep questions
Instead of what did you do this weekend try "what was the most interesting thing you did this weekend?"
In general Supercommunicators ask many more questions than the average communicator.
Questions that probe emotions, beliefs, and personal histories elicit more revealing answers than those that just seek facts. This leads to a richer understanding of the people involved.
Asking questions in a way that encourages others to share their beliefs or stories shows a willingness to build meaningful relationships.
Asking follow-up questions during a discussion demonstrates not just active participation but also genuine interest, ensuring everyone feels heard. Your approach conveys respect for others' contributions and your commitment to the conversation.
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2) The loop of understanding (particularly useful in difficult conversations)
Firstly, ask your question
Secondly, repeat back what you heard "What I hear you saying is..."
Thirdly and finally, check if you got your understanding right.
"Did I get that right" or "If I understood you correctly...."
It's important to realize that conversations are not just about exchanging information - they are complex interactions that involve an intricate dance as people navigate unspoken rules and goals. During discussions, people trade information while also subtly steering the direction of the conversation through various tactics, offers, and responses to influence the interaction.
The aim is to understand each other's core needs and figure out how decisions will be made.
This requires insight into the social dynamics at play to negotiate the implicit rules of communication. We modulate our participation in a conversation to encourage others to do the same, following the "rule of reciprocity."
The goal is to develop a shared understanding rather than simply winning an argument.
3) Non-verbal communication
A lot of communication (some experts say more than 50%) is non-verbal such as body language and facial expressions.
Mirroring is a good skill to learn.
Often Supercommunicators will smile or laugh even if nothing particularly funny has been said.
They are simply showing that they want to connect.
Mirroring is a form of emotional intelligence (EQ).
When you match your emotional expressions to those of others, it validates their feelings and shows you are attuned to their emotional state. This strengthens the connection and understanding between you and your conversational partner, increasing the likelihood of sharing insights and perspectives.
These 3 tips alone will transform your communication skills and have a major impact on your career and personal development.
If you are interested in becoming a Supercommunicator and learning additional skills, whether it be for interviews or career progression purposes you can can DM me on LinkedIn or email me at [email protected].
Alternatively, you can book a free 30-minute consultation here??