3 Tips to Stop People-pleasing and Get Ahead at Work

Do you get anxious if you can't make everybody happy,?First name / my friend?

Are you exhausted and overcommitted because you struggle to say No?

Do you have a hard time arguing against the majority opinion?

Are you afraid to disappoint your loved ones by following your own path?

Do you feel your boss and coworkers don't know the real You at all?

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If that sounds familiar, you may be experiencing?

the downsides of ?the “mother of all good girl habits”:

PEOPLE-PLEASING

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Let me tell you, my friend, this habit does?not?serve you?

if you want to build a satisfying life and career for yourself.

Even if your brain is telling you otherwise.

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Which it will, of course,?

because people-pleasing keeps you squarely “in the pack”,?

without standing out.

It’s safer this way (says your lizard brain).

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But unlearning people-pleasing can also lead to your growth and wellbeing.

If that's what you want?(and I'm sure it is if you're still here!)

I have three tips for you where to start.

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#1 Look into your FOPO?(fear of other people's opinion)

It's perfectly normal to be upset when people question your expertise or criticize you. But if you anticipate their reaction beforehand and worry so much that you adapt your behavior, you're having a major bout of FOPO.

That usually happens in an area of our life that is super-important to us and in which we are rather performance-driven. Because performance leads to competition, no matter if that's at work or in your family or with your hobby.

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Question:

In areas in which you feel very performance-driven and competitive,?

can you find something else that really fuels you – without burning you out?

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#2 Challenge assumptions and beliefs

All of us carry around certain “truths”?(spoiler alert: they aren't!)?that lead us to play by the rulebook of others, no matter how hard it feels, as those norms clash with our needs and values.

Realizing what we (or others around us) take for granted and allowing ourselves to brainstorm alternatives helps us to stop doing things just because “that's what you do”.

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Question:

If you put aside the belief that what you really want is impossible and just did it,?

what's the worst that could happen?

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#3 Replace expectations with agreements

Unfortunately, it's hard to grasp that others do not think exactly the way we do. What we may consider “totally obvious and logical” may not even make sense to them, and vice versa.

As a people-pleaser, you may be meeting expectations your counterpart doesn't even have!?

How's that for not serving you well?!

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Question (for yourself and the other person):

How can I support you to do your best job?

And can I tell you what you can do for me so I can do my best job?

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Stepping out of the people-pleasing habit takes time,

like every habit or routine you want to change.

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So please be kind to yourself,

and if there's anything I can do for you,

send me a message and let me know!?

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Love, Micha

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P.S.

If you haven't registered yet for my upcoming masterclass,

just go to?bit.ly/ShiftIntoConfidence ?to sign up.

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