3 Things Shy People Should Consider on Job Interviews
J.T. O'Donnell
Founder & CEO, Work It DAILY | Board of Directors, McCoy | Career & Professional Development | Job Search | HR & Recruiting | Employer Branding | Recruitment Marketing | Talent Management | Executive Coaching
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Being shy is tough. I know the emotional stress it causes. Shy people are thoughtful. Their shyness partially stems from a desire to say and do the right thing in social situations - like interviews. The idea of making a mistake scares them so much, it's easier to hang back, observe, and say nothing. I get it. It's actually a physical response of the human body. When put in new, unfamiliar situations, our body's Amygdala kicks into gear in a attempt to decide whether to fight or take flight. Shyness is taking flight while still being in the room! Which is a huge problem if you are a job seeker.
Put Yourself in the Interviewer's Shoes
When I coach shy people in their job search, especially regarding interviews, I ask them to imagine the impact their shyness has on the interviewer who is trying to connect with them. They are feeling stress too. The shyness makes interviewers feel like they are doing something wrong. Which, I know is not the intention. Which means if you're a shy person, hearing this only makes you more stressed, right? Well, the good news is there are three things you can do to improve the situation for both you and the person interviewing you.
1. A joke can put both your Amygdalas in check.
Studies show one of the best ways to bond with a stranger is through play. When we laugh and feel joy together, the Amygdala backs down. It no longer feels a threat, and therefore, lets us relax. Shy folks can use the simple technique of making a small joke to let interviewers know that while they may come across more reserved, they don't fear them. The joke conveys a sense of humor, which is a subtle means of showing your confidence and intelligence. You don't have to be an over-the-top jokester. And, I'm not suggesting you disrupt the interview and ask to tell a joke. What I'm saying is you find a spot early in the interview to share something funny related to what you're discussing. It might be about the weather, the traffic, or some other aspect of your local geography. All it takes is a quick comment, a smile, and some eye contact and you'll put the interviewer more at ease.
2. Go on the offensive about your shyness.
There's nothing wrong with calling out the elephant in the room. You're shy. Which means you're pensive and sensitive. Those are great qualities to have. It's okay to say, "I know I can come off as shy, but I just want you to know I like to think things through before I comment. I'm just trying to make sure I'm articulating my thoughts as best I can." Giving them some reasoning behind your approach is a wonderful way to educate interviewers on your personality and share a little bit about yourself.
3. Leverage the super-power of your shyness.
Being shy has its positives. Knowing how to use them to your advantage in an interview is key! In the video below I explain how you can take your strength as a shy person and use it to your advantage in job interviews. It's one technique my clients have said time and again has helped them transform their interviewing skills.
Software Engineer
3 年The person who wrote this article can't really grasp what shyness really is. "I know I can come off as shy, but I just..." . Most shy people talk in 1-2 words sentences and if you put them a technical question even if it's infinitly easier than their knowledge , they won't know how to answer it , they might mumble something but very rare , most of the times they will be like : "Yes uuuh , that... uuuh". I know people that if you send them an email to do something they will do it 10 times better than you asked for , but once it's face to face it looks like they never done that in their life. Those people even had interviews and did not went to them because of their shyness. I guess it's mostly the fear of making a fool of yourself and that you must get that interview or else you might not ever have that oportunity ever again (which is false). To all the shy people : the only way to get over it is just do it multiple times. Yes the first 10 times or so it will make you feel even worse because of your performance during those interviews and you clearly won't get the jobs (it might make you look like you are mentally deficient), but with time you get more confident and it becomes second nature. At the end of the day is not like the interviewer will remember who you are 1 month from then.
MS in mgt science from abasyn university peshawar.M.com from uop, doing job as Divisional Accounts Officer
5 年Great
Head of commercial department of international roaming and other services in ETECSA
5 年Thanks a lot for those tips! Sometimes is not enough to know your skills yourself, any interview always put on so nervous to everyone and many times we dont't know what to do in a determinate situations to give the best of us. A help always is good!
HR Navigator, HR Business Advisor, Activator, Leadership Coach, HR Project Manager, Change Agent, People Connector, Helper, Career Coach. Let me help you thrive in your HR career or job search.
5 年#2 is a great tip to use a joke to lighten things up, be likeable and build rapport. The interviewee will appreciate it and you #3 is another great tip to help the interviewee understand you and show your self- awareness. Turn it into a strength!