3 Things About Relationships That No One Wants To Admit

The older I get a certain realization begins to take place in me. There's a deep longing in the heart of every human being for love. It's by God's design. HE made us that way. HE decreed over Adam that it wasn't good for the man to be ALONE [all-in-one].

People seem to cherish independence because others applaud them for it and gives the connotation of strength and certainty. Is independence the final frontier? The holy grail? Nah. It isn't. Interdependence is what we've really gotta master. God has built us to be strong and have the ability to become fiercely independent. STILL, we've gotta be careful and tread thinly when it comes to walking in the strength of independence. It's a double-edged sword. It cuts both ways. What I've come to see is that if not handled properly it'll sever love, freedom and growth out of our lives when we hold and embrace it to strongly.

If I were to define the word relationship, it would read like this:

Relationship: The ability to RELATE in a MUTUAL way.

This means that there MUST be another party/person present in order to have a relationship. AND, therein is the perceived problem. Many don't want to GROW in ways that will allow a mutual contribution. It's tough receiving different ideas and views from those ideas we've become accustomed to living with. So below are three things about relationships that no one really wants to admit.

1. Everybody Wants A Relationship MINUS The Work It Takes To Have One: It will be hard for anyone to become their BEST outside of a relationship. God declared of the first man that it wasn't good for him to act totally independent. Think about it. Independence LEADS to independence. When we really decide that we want to grow we'll begin to learn how to embrace and receive others in a mutually satisfying relationship.

2. Relationships Bring Out All Of Our Fears: Therein lies the reason we avoid them. We all hate to sit with the pain of relating to another person that we cannot and shouldn't  attempt to control. It raises all of our ideological "red flags" and causes us to avoid becoming vulnerable to another human being. The only way to grow in life is to confront your independence and embrace your God-given ability to thrive in a relationship.

3. Our Ability To Be In A Healthy Relationship Is Linked To Our Understanding Of The Gospel: Many are in relationships. Unhealthy ones. What good is it to say that you've been married for 30+ years if all you've done is tolerate one another and have never accomplished anything designed around your purpose for coming together. Sadly, millions do that. The gospel is about a relationship between God and man that is grounded in love and ignited via the freedom to choose.  Understanding this should color all of our relationships going forward.

Keep pushin'

Frank Henderson is the Lead Pastor of XCEL Fellowship Church in Raleigh, NC and is called to "Empower People" all over the globe. Find out more about him and the XCEL movement at www.xcelnation.org