3 things mental health experts want parents to know about raising kids with anxiety

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Childhood anxiety disorders impact one in eight kids, making this a condition many families grapple with. There are tools that can make life with an anxious child a little more seamless. Here’s what psychologists recommend all parents of kids with anxiety disorders keep in mind.?

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Staying calm is crucial

Thea Gallagher , PsyD, a clinical assistant professor at NYU Langone Health and a cohost of the Mind in View podcast, points out that moods can be contagious. If you find that you’re struggling to stay calm when your child’s anxiety is elevated, she recommends talking to their therapist for tools you can use or considering therapy for yourself. “The best thing you can do with your child when they’re getting worked up is to be as calm as possible, reiterate their options, and talk about the choices they can make,” she says.?

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Sometimes you have to let them ride the wave of anxiety

“If your child is at peak anxiety—a 10 out of 10—sometimes we need to ride that wave,” she says. That can mean just being there for your child, hugging them, or giving them space to be by themselves until they calm down, Gallagher says. This is a good time to help them practice the skills they’ve learned in therapy, like taking five deep breaths together, counting backward by threes, or any other techniques their health care provider has shared.?

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Don’t avoid the things that cause your child’s anxiety

If something makes your child anxious, it’s understandable to want to do what you can to help them avoid it. But the “decision to aid them in escaping sometimes exacerbates those fears for the child,” says Hillary Ammon, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety & Women’s Emotional Wellness.

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Instead, parents should “compassionately foster bravery skills” with anxious kids, says Izabela Milaniak, PhD, licensed psychologist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. That means reiterating expectations by saying things like, “I know this is hard for you and going to school is one of your responsibilities, like going to work is mine.”

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Gallagher also recommends talking to your child about “bossing back the anxiety,” stressing that they can be in charge of their emotions and not let anxiety take control.?

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