3 Things I’d Tell My Younger Self

Is it just me, or is this “What I’d Tell My Younger Self” topic getting a lot of traction lately??

What would YOU tell your younger self??

In this TEDTalk , Coey Poirier summarizes the main things that come up when he poses this question to leaders and successful people.

One common theme is to forgive yourself for mistakes and “don’t beat yourself up over the decisions you make when you’re younger.”

Sure, hindsight is 20/20. Some people find that thinking about the advice you’d give to Younger You can create a sense of forgiveness for what you carry in your head as “mistakes.”

Younger You didn’t know that was the wrong job, or a toxic boss, or a bad relationship.? Current You does.? Be more forgiving.

The second theme is that the things you’re worrying about might not matter. Something you stressed over incessantly in your 20’s turns out to not matter to you in your 40’s.???

Here’s a suggestion: the 5 x 5 Rule - if it’s not going to matter in 5 years, then take 5 minutes to worry and move on. (Love this!)

I could easily create a list of at least 54 things to share with “Younger Andrea,” one for each of my years…

Here are my top three. (Yes, always the power of 3!)

1. ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET?

Take risks and focus on learning, no matter the outcome.

The most significant learnings often come from the things that don’t go as planned, don’t they? Looking back at the breakups, the co-author who tried to sabotage me, the promotion that didn't come as fast as I hoped,... I learned so much from these trying experiences.?

I’d tell my younger self to celebrate failure. Lean in to your growth mindset. A growth mindset always wins.

2. FOCUS ON YOUR OWN UNIQUE PATH

I'd also tell myself to think deeply about what I love to do. Then go after it.

Focus less on conforming to expectations. Instead, focus on my unique skills and passions - the things that light me up.

Today, I'm happier in my career than I ever could have imagined. My only regret is not pivoting sooner.

This is consistent with what I now coach in terms in terms of personal branding. You will be your happiest and most successful self if you focus on your unique skills and passions. Focus on your own unique path.

3. SLOW DOWN & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

I’m still working on this.? I constantly need to remind myself to pause, take a deep breath, and reset.? It’s like I idle at too high an RPM.

It's not that I'm focusing on things that I don't enjoy - I love my job, I love my kids,.... I spend very little time on things I don’t enjoy. But rushing from one thing to the next makes me feel stressed and unsettled. And I rarely “take time for myself.”? And I’ve always been like this.

Listen up, Younger Andrea: Self-care is not selfish!?

I distinctly remember hearing this adage and thinking, “but actually, self-care is selfish!” (Ugh)

I would tell my younger self to be mindful. Slow down. Seek awe.? Sit in the sun, eat dessert, walk in the woods - enjoy the little things. They add up to a wonderful “big thing”.? Tomorrow is important but today is MORE important.??

This is why you put your own oxygen mask on first on a plane.? You’re no good to others if your battery is run down.? I would tell Younger Andrea to rest when she’s sick, say “no” more often, and don’t hesitate to ask for help.?

Be kind to everyone - including yourself!

Homework

I’ve got two things for you to think about this week:

• What 3 things would you tell your younger self??
• Are you living consistently with these 3 insights today?

Like I said, I’m working on it!

I’d love to hear what you come up with. Please share your comments below.

Talk soon,

Andrea

Dr. Andrea Wojnicki is a Harvard-educated executive communication coach. She founded "Talk About Talk " to help ambitious executives communicate with confidence and clarity by focusing on topics such as personal branding, overcoming imposter syndrome, listening, demonstrating leadership, and formal presentation skills.? Andrea provides 1:1 coaching, workshops, keynote speeches, and online courses. She also shares her thought leadership as a columnist at Inc. magazine and she hosts the Talk About Talk podcast , with over 150 episodes and counting.