3 things that help me battling depression

Life is tough for most people. I would not be certain enough to say that life is hard for everyone, but I would not be surprised if some scientist comes up with a statistic to prove that everyone gets it hard, more or less. To me personally, life is very hard, and I feel like it is supposed to be that way. Hardship is inevitable, just like death and taxes. Ironically, when I was young, I used to think that life was easy, and everybody else was just living the wrong way. I felt like people around me just invited troubles to their lives, and made it complicated to themselves, even my own parents. As I grow up, and writing this article now when I am 21 years old, struggling with depression, I completely change my prospective about it. Depression is agonizing, and it is not fugazi or a fairy tale, nor something to be taken lightly. From my experience, I can describe it as “the feeling when life itself is against you”. Sounds exaggerated right? But coming from a person who used to think that depression was a fantasy, I can assure you this is how I felt when it hit me, as I lost control of my life and nothing for that moment meant anything for me, not even my family or my life. I don’t want to get deep into how I got into depression, because it is a long story and I don’t want to bother you with that complicated story, but I want to share 3 things that helped me a lot while I was battling depression (and still do).

First thing, remember that you are not alone, and there are always people who get it worse than you.

Surprise! You are not the only one who gets a bad life. In fact, I bet most people around you are already battling depression to a certain level. As I said, most people have it rough, so you have to understand that it is normal for you also to go through this hardship. Some people have bad childhood, a toxic relationship with their partner, a bad financial situation, problems with their health, with their ego, etc. If you want to go to the extreme, millions of Africans don’t even have food to sustain their lives. I don’t want to belittle your problems, because who am I to do it when I don’t know your story and circumstance? But I am inviting you to remind yourself that you are still having things in life that are better than a lot of other people, and these things are worth for you to live and fight for. So, remind yourself of these things, and be grateful for them, because you might lose them one day too if you are not careful and keep going deep down into this rabbit hole of depression.

Secondly, you have to do something about it!

This is something that I realize a lot from friends and acquaintances, on how they deal with depression and setbacks of their lives. They will either try to ignore it, forget it or distract themselves with other temporary solutions, such as alcohols; drugs or meaningless sex, to name a few. It is very uncomfortable to admit and face your problems, but from my own experience, it is one of, if not, the best ways to deal with depression. Unless you are just being depressed because of a mental disability that requires medications and there are no other ways to solve, then I am truly sorry for your circumstance and I wish you the best in life. But other than that, you can do something about it, and probably you know it. If your depression comes from insecurities you have in life, then do something about it. Are you insecure about being overweight? Start a diet, go to the gym, do sports, do every possible thing you can to get fit. Are you feeling like you are not talented enough? Learn something new, find out your passion, and try to be the best in what you enjoy doing. Are you feeling like you are not getting the partner of your life? Try to look better aesthetically, practice to be more confident and attractive, learn how to effectively communicate with others, etc. Or maybe, you are insecure about your height, something that you cannot change? You can make it up with something else, always. My point here is, its okay to be sad, depressed and insecure. These feelings are so human, and they came in a package when you were born already. But it is definitely not okay to do nothing about it, to just wait and do absolutely nothing to counteract them.

And the last thing, time is your ally!

So, what do I mean by this? Two amazing things I realize about time that I want you to know. First is that time heals. It heals broken hearts and wounds - both physically and mentally. With just enough time, by itself, helps you tremendously with the problems in your life. Secondly, it dictates your growth. You have to understand this fact, remind yourself, and accept this fact to be successful in life, in my opinion. These 2 things lead to one concept that I truly want you to appreciate, and that is patience. In fact, I think, patience is one of the most important virtues in life. No understanding can immediately cure you from sadness. Been there, done that, as I have tried to remind myself so many times that I was not such a loser (even when looking back, I was not a loser at all). No wound can be cured in a day. And the same thing with progress, you have to wait a long time to see any progress with anything, may it be muscle gain, learning a new skill, losing weight, etc. If you lose patience, you will find quick-fixes, or go back to your flawed habits, which will ultimately lead to more problems and more depression. Patience is a skill, a necessary one for everybody.

And there they are, these are the 3 ideas that I helped me a lot with my own depression. To be honest, this is written with my heart and soul. I am not a professional, nor anybody that should be looked up to as a source of wise knowledge. But I can proudly say that I am doing way better than I used to be, and I am moving forward, with these ideas as the base understandings of my journey. Reading and understanding these ideas are easy, but to practice them is the key to change. Remember, learning without application is not learning at all!

Written by Nguyen Dinh Van