3 Things to Do When You're Around "Bad Boss Energy"

In today's newsletter, I give you 3 steps to strengthen your emotional power when your boss—or your coworkers, your clients, or even your kids—are driving you bananas.

BREAKING NEWS! Inc. Magazine just named 'Energy Rising' 1 of 5 books that will transform your leadership: https://rb.gy/wsepn

At their core, tough relationships are always about intense emotions.

Based on how the brain works, here's a major shift that—if you make it—will allow you to build emotionally extraordinary relationships: Your relationships do not break down because your problems get too hard; they break down because your feelings get too big.

Here's 3 steps to strengthen your emotional power in even the toughest relationships.

1. REFOCUS YOUR ATTENTION: Much dysfunction on your team comes because you're paying too much attention to other people. If you have a difficult boss or coworker, you might find yourself ruminating: Why are they so unmotivated? Why can't they be more self-starting? Do they like me? Are they mad at me? Stop. Refocus on yourself.
2. AVOID TOXIC EXCHANGES: A relationship is always an energetic exchange between two people. Sometimes the medicine is tough to swallow, so here goes: We are often perpetrators of our own misery. We readily give enormous amounts of energy to a dynamic?we already decided we hate. To overcome pain in your relationships, reflect on how you’re emotionally contributing to the very dynamic that doesn't feel good to you. Ask yourself:Am I wasting my free time talking about them?Am I using my energy to complain, gossip or vent about them?Am I letting their behavior dictate my mood?
3. EMBODY THE ENERGY YOU WANT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Neuroscience demonstrates that emotion is a thing of contagion—people catch each other’s feelings like we catch colds. You can be the source of the energy you want your team to "catch." Do this by identifying what is missing on your team: Inspiration? Patience? Efficiency? Clarity? Recognize that as you create the energetic signal you think is missing from your relationships, people will respond differently.

For a more in-depth dive into how to specifically work with your emotions to create a life that feels good, check out "Energy Rising." For those that pre-order, I hope you'll consider joining me for a live event in October where we apply the 8 codes to your life: https://lnkd.in/gVSdXqXh#EnergyRising?

AMAZING NEWS ABOUT ENERGY RISING!

1. Named best of HR books: https://www.hrmagazine.co.uk/content/features/best-of-hr-books-august-2023
2. Named 1 of 5 books to transform your leadership: www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/5-books-on-leadership-that-will-transform-how-you-run-your-business.html. ?
3. Energy Rising helps you overcome anxiety and micromanagement: https://hbr.org/2023/09/the-anxious-micromanager

I had a great time talking earlier this week to Salon Media Group, Inc. and Big Think . Thanks to Marshall Goldsmith , Harvard Business Review and many others for their support!