3 things CXOs can do to rise above blaming!

Hello and welcome back to my LinkedIn newsletter! In this edition of the newsletter, we will talk about ‘CXOs who have a tendency to blame’. Happy Reading!

Things go wrong. I guess there are no surprises here. In fact, things go wrong on a pretty regular basis! Many of your plans do not work, the way they were expected to. What is your first reaction?

Do you react by trying to fix the blame? You start looking for responsible people immediately? Do you feel restless till you do the root cause analysis of who is responsible? Do you look for ways to make sure that it is not you who is responsible?

It is understandable that a setback will affect you. But how deeply does it affect you, and for how long? And what do you do after a setback?

If you think you tend to get into the blame game very quickly, here are 3 things that will help you rise above the blame game and get you ready for the next level of leadership growth!

Becoming self-aware: The part where you ignore any potential changes in your own self is the biggest hurdle for your own growth. You must remember that you are also a part of the equation, and for that you must be self-aware.

I have seen many leaders who are not even aware that are trying to fix the blame. ?In CXO roles, self-awareness is a critical strength. When you are self-aware you will see the situation/setback in a more holistic manner. Without self-awareness, it may not even be possible to discover a real challenge, let alone take a corrective course of action. If you are not aware of what are your own growth areas and challenges, you will tend to find fault in others. You will blame circumstances or other people for the lack of progress.

Published in MIT Sloan Management Review, the research by Ginka Toegel and Jean-Louis Barsoux focused on “How to become a better leader”. The study claimed that good leaders make it look like work is easy, but they have been working hard in the background to overcome some of their own career-limiting traits. That, in order to succeed, one has to be aware of one’s strongest tendencies and develop the capabilities to manage them.

You can learn more about how to become self-aware in this eBook.

Handling your emotions: Emotional intelligence is an area of development that leaders tend to ignore. Many leaders are either not able to or choose not to relate to their own emotions or that of their colleagues. They focus on results and accept no-excuses. They punish the messenger of bad news, rather than thanking him/her. That may not be the best way to work with people in the long run. It kills creativity and reduces employee engagement.

At that crucial time of setback, take deep breaths and calm yourself. When you are calm and composed, you get access to the part of your brain (prefrontal cortex) which is more creative and strategic.

Do not let yourself react during the time that you are angry or upset. Note down your response but delay it. When the worst moments have passed, review your response, consider what could be a constructive way of bringing up your thoughts, and reframe the response in the most effective manner.

As a regular activity, it is important to pause during the day and reflect on how is it going for you? At the end of each day, take note of your best meeting and your worst one. Consider your feelings in each of them and reflect upon the factors that helped create that feeling. Note these triggers and be aware of them.

Read chapter 12 of the book, Get Your Next Promotion to learn more about EI, read some real examples from the story of a leader and get some practical advice.

Taking Feedback Positively: Rejecting good feedback will stop your own development. At CXO levels, it is very important to keep taking feedback so that you know how others are perceiving you. You must actively seek feedback. Ask others about their feeling when they are with you. You will have to create a safe environment to get this information, as normally people would only talk good. You can also get some anonymous 360-degree surveys done to get this piece of crucial information. Once you know how you make others feel, you can then consider ways of improving their experience. Active listening is important when you work with your team or seek feedback from peers. Have a look at this short post to learn more about how to listen well and use feedback to improve! Also, read this amazing article by Judith Glaser on the subject.

Keeping calm, being aware of your emotions as well as those of others, and being curious while listening with an intent to understand more about the feedback is what may get you to the next level.

Build your skills, stop blaming others or circumstances and keep working with others to achieve the results you so love! This way you will grow professionally, and improve employee engagement, overall creativity as well as the competitiveness of your organization. Remember, when things go wrong, the only thing you really have control on is just yourself.

Keep learning, Keep Growing and Keep inspiring!

Thank you for reading this instalment of the newsletter. I welcome the ideas and topics that you would like to see in the future editions of the newsletter. You can send me a message here on LI or write to me at?[email protected]?.?

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Wish you good health, happiness, and success always,

Manbir