3 Team Building Practices that Weaken a Sense of Belonging in Your Team

Human beings want to belong. We are innately collaborative and flourish when we feel connected to our teams and our company culture. A sense of belonging fuels trust and engagement, and an engaged team is an effective team! When we feel we belong, we contribute more, we communicate more openly, we are more likely to show vulnerabilities. All of these create a sense of a safe productive environment where new ideas can flourish.?

As a project leader, I’ve managed a variety of teams—large and small, with team members from different cultures, backgrounds, and (occasionally) time zones and countries! Being from Russia myself and working in the USA, I personally leave out the journey of diversity every day. When you bring together a team with diverse talents and backgrounds, cultivating the sense of belonging becomes even more imperative, because it does not exist organically.? It has to be cultivated with care.?

There is so much to be said about belonging and engagement. With the world reopening and team members going back to office, I want to talk about team building practices that might actually be deteriorating a sense of belonging for your team.?

• Marshmallow and spaghetti tower game. I come across this fun team building activity very often. I have played the game, I’ve seen other teams playing this game, I’ve seen it referenced in books! So what is this game? The marshmallow and spaghetti tower game is a challenge where a group of people is divided into teams. Each team is given the same number of spaghetti and marshmallows. Then teams compete to build the tallest tower using these materials.?Sounds fun, right?? The play element of this exercise is wonderful! However, there is a catch that I want to bring attention to. And that’s the attitude toward food in different cultures. If you come from a culture or environment where food was scarce, or you were brought up to regard the food as a valuable resource, playing with food might feel offensive, wasteful and straight up wrong. The trauma around food scarcity is far more common than you might think. It’s such a personal and painful subject that people are unlikely to talk about it.? So instead of a joyful experience of bonding and fun having, playing with food might leave someone feeling uncomfortable, unattached and sometimes resentful.

I want to tell you very briefly about my own story with food. I was brought up by my grandparents who both grew up during WWII and the following years of recovery. They experienced famine, and it shaped their attitude towards food. I have a lot of friends and colleagues who have similar stories, growing up with heightened value and appreciation for food. To this day, I will not throw away bread, and I repurpose any leftovers so that they are not wasted.?

Solution: If you are looking to have some playful exercise with your team building something out of marshmallows or potato chips, I want you to take a pause. Does it have to be food? My recommendation is to still have the exercise, but use neutral materials that can be found around the office: pens, pencils, paper, glue, tape, etc. Can you imagine the tower that can be built with paper clips and sticky notes! How fun is that??

• After work events that include social drinking. Socializing after work is a great indicator of healthy team dynamic. However, if you are arranging a dedicated team building gathering that will be after work hours and will include social drinking, it is good to consider a couple of things.?Team building events after work are more likely to ostracize team members with commitments outside of work, for example team members with families and small children. If your team event forces someone into a decision between family time and work, it probably will not do much good to increase a sense of belonging.?Afterwork events with social drinking might also be problematic for people who don’t drink or who are uncomfortable around alcohol consumption.?

Solution: team building events are important, so is the timing. Consider having your team building event during work hours to include your team members with the commitments outside of work. Also, bonding over social games, interactions and activities are equally effective as bonding over a drink.?

• Game of Trivia. Trivia is a game in which players (who can play individually or in a team) are asked questions about different topics and they have to get as many correct answers as possible. Normally contestants are organized in teams and the team who gets the higher score wins. Trivia contests are common in team building events, so how can we make it most fun and really supercharge the bonding experience??Imagine an international team brought together for a game of Trivia. It is Christmas time, so we can expect the questions to be about Christmas and winter festivities. How fun! Well, all of the questions in the contest were based on American TV shows and movies popular in the 70's and 80’s. So team members who did not grow up in this cultural context in the 70's and 80’s had no point of reference or context to really participate and engage in the game. Let alone - win!?

There are several solutions to this situation:?When you put together a game of Trivia, it’s a good idea to ask your team what their interests are and include questions that would reflect the diversity of your team. In the case of a Christmas-themed game of Trivia, it’s a good idea to diversify it with questions about other winter holidays and traditions from the cultures and groups your team members identify with.?Use it as a learning opportunity: diversify your questions to give voice to different life experiences, interests, passions and cultural context. Teams learning about each other in a gamified way build common understanding, appreciation and uncover hidden assumptions.?

A sense of belonging brings teams together, strengthens relationships and employee loyalty. It is such an important component of not only team but also personal success and happiness.?

What do you guys think? Do you have a sense of belonging and how do you nurture it in your team? Are there any team building activities that you enjoy that helped you create a sense of belonging? Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you!?

? Courses that I am watching this week - I made this course free for you with the links below:

Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging by Pat Wadors - https://linkedin-learning.pxf.io/Gj0mV2?

Icebreakers for Teams, Meetings, and Groups by Dr. Daisy Lovelace and Dr. Carolyn Goerner - https://linkedin-learning.pxf.io/AoyWVR?

?My course - Managing Project Stakeholders - https://linkedin-learning.pxf.io/VybmeR?

#diversity #inclusion #teams #belonging #projectmanagement #leadership