3 steps for working with critical feedback

There’s nothing like critical feedback to knock you down.

Maybe you got tough-to-swallow feedback from a superior at work, a client, or a partner.

Critical feedback can invite the self-doubt monster to creep into your day.

How do you feel about feedback?

If you said, “I love glowing feedback or none at all,” you’re not alone.

There is an art to giving good, effective feedback, which is something every manager should learn, but at the end of the day, you will receive critical feedback at some point.

How you manage, it is up to you.

Let’s work with the feedback you received.

STEP 1: Write down exactly what the person said.

If you have a written review, look at the facts and the exact words.

STEP 2: Write out your thoughts and feelings about the feedback.

Some thoughts may generate negative feelings, sadness, anger, and defensiveness. It’s important that you allow yourself to pause and feel those negative emotions.

Feelings are just neurochemicals pulsing through your body. If you give the sensations a little attention, they will dissipate in another 90 seconds. If you don’t process the emotion, it will come out somewhere else. Over-eating, over-drinking, too much social media, shopping, or any other vice of your choosing. Typically we do this because it's easy to avoid than process and feel.

It’s our thoughts about the feedback that can make us feel so uncomfortable.?

When defensive, it’s nearly impossible to be in forward motion or productivity mode.

STEP 3: Figure out what you are making it mean.

No one likes it when I ask this question. It’s annoying. I get it. But it’s also one of my favorites.

What are you making the feedback mean? What are you letting it say about you?

Maybe you let the feedback mean you are bad at your job. Or unworthy of a promotion. Or not good enough yet.

But feedback is just data. You get to decide how you want to feel about it.

We usually get triggered because there's a little piece of the feedback we either believe is true or we so desperately don't want to believe is true.

If you said I was dumb, I would laugh. It wouldn't stick. If you told me I was impatient, I would look for all the ways to try to prove you wrong. Because my thoughts tell me being impatient is wrong, and I don't want to be labeled that way. But I am impatient. And when I am managing my mind, that impatience serves me well. I got for it. I achieve. I sign the deal.

I get to choose how I think about the data (the feedback).

You fall into thought errors when you let the feedback mean, weigh, or dictate more than it is worth.?

Are you struggling with some critical feedback at work? I’d love to help you see through a lens you might be missing. Book a free mini-consult HERE and let's channel your wins into your next big move.