3 Steps to Setting (and reaching) Your Goals! 2/3

Note: This is the second article in a series of three. If you missed the first one, check it out here.

It's now less than 48 hours before my marathon on Saturday. I'm in the last few days of preparation - resting a little more and eating very carefully (Well except for the cheese enchiladas I had for lunch yesterday. Um....and the frozen yogurt for dessert.) to give my body every possible boost for Saturday's effort. At this point I've put in a few months of training and preparation and I'm not about to blow it by eating hot wings Friday night and spending 26.2 miles regretting it Saturday morning. Quite honestly, I enjoy the last couple of weeks before a big endurance event. For one thing, my dedication to training and eating well (except for the enchiladas and yogurt) always results in losing a few pounds and getting lean which is always great going into the holiday season. 

“One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole.” ~Gandhi

I always choose one or two endurance events every year. Mostly it's a marathon, although it has been a 70 mile mountain bike race or an adventure race from time to time. I enjoy the preparation because I find that I push myself harder when there is a definite goal in site. I don't really like to run more than 10 miles. It just plain hurts by mile 15 and I'm not sure if I'm really doing anything healthy to my body by mile 20. Setting a goal gives me something to work toward. 

Don't get me wrong - I don't just set goals for the physical side of my life. I set goals for the social, spiritual and mental dimensions of my life too because wellness means being whole. If I am out of balance in one area of life, I will be out of balance in another, so I must carefully focus energy on all four dimensions (physical, mental, social, spiritual). For example, for the mental (personal development) dimension of my life, this year I set the goal of reading 50 self development books in 2015. I very carefully and intentionally set goals for each area of my life, every year. Why? Because I know without a doubt that I will focus my energy better when I have a goal and an action plan to reach it. If I leave it up to a vague "Gee I'd like to lose 5 pounds" then it will never happen. Nothing worth having happens accidentally. No one accidentally makes it to their dream of owning their own business or completes a marathon by accident. Overnight successes usually are years in the making. 

You should have already identified your personal mission and values in Step One. If not, stop NOW, and go back and complete step one. I know it's tempting - but don't skip this part. I assume if you are still reading, you have completed Step One and are ready to move to Step Two of Achieving Your Goal. It doesn't matter what long term goal we want to set. We must set the goal and then create the action plan to reach it. This is a process, so don't rush it.  For me, health is a value and priority in my life and I make sure that I dedicate time and energy to it. So, I set a goal each year related to my health and fitness as part of my overall wellness. I cannot reach most of the other goals in my life if I'm not healthy enough to keep up my energy, spirituality, sanity, and positive outlook. So, if you have completed Step One - then read on for Step Two.

Step Two - Identify your overall goal for each of the important “hats” you wear or “roles” that you play in life. For example, you might want to identify one goal for your role as a spouse, one as a parent, one as a boss or employee and so on.

One of the things that Stephen Covey talks about in his book, First Things First, is how we have different roles in our life. That means that we have several roles as individuals. You might be an employee at work, but you are a mom or dad at home or a spouse. You might have another role as a volunteer for the food bank. All too often, we see these roles completely independent of one another. In reality, we should look at our lives as a whole. Each role that we play is part of our interrelated, whole being. Each part impacts the other parts. Gandhi said, “One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole.”

If we haven’t yet identified our mission, purpose and vision of our life, then our roles are probably defined in large part by others. If you spent the time after video one to really connect with your inner values and mission, it will be much easier for you to identify the roles that are important to you and why. For example, if one of your values was family, then your role as a spouse or as a parent will be one of your important roles. One of my values is helping others to achieve their goals, so an important role for me is my role as a life and success coach. If one of your values is community leadership, then your role as the Rotary Club President might be one of the most important roles you play based on your values.

Let me just say here, it’s not necessary to list every single thing that you do or role that you play. Try to keep it to the top 5 or 6 and if that’s not possible, focus on grouping some of your roles together.

Our roles become the channel to live out the vision for our life and values. Each role is important and success in one role doesn’t justify failure in another. This is how we find harmony – when each role is being fulfilled.

It’s important to identify our roles and then overall context goals for each of our roles. This doesn’t mean that each role gets equal time and attention every day or every week – life is full of seasons. Last summer, my husband Mack and I completed the Whole 30 program, which is nutritional reset program where you eat only whole foods for 30 days straight. That meant, no processed foods, no sugar, no bread, no dairy, no chocolate…well you get the picture. Now we could have as many fruits and vegetables as we wanted and lean meats but I had to cook almost everything from scratch and I spent a tremendous amount of time chopping vegetables and cooking, even ketchup had to be made from scratch. So, it was “Whole 30 season” for a month….and my role as a wife providing food for my family got more time and attention during that season.

At times it is necessary to focus short term on one role more than another to accomplish our overall mission. This is why we must look at our life from a “Big Picture” perspective.

Goals should be aligned with Mission and Principles. When they are, they are fueled by passion, and create quality of life when set and achieved. They are motivating to us because they are driving from inside – intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic goals (personal growth, significance in the life of someone else) are much more satisfying overall when we reach them as opposed to the empty feeling that can come from achieving extrinsic goals (wealth, fame).

I’ve provided you with a worksheet to help you with this part. Work through this during your quiet time and remember I'm here to help if you have questions along the way! Look for Step Three coming next week - I've got to go get ready for a marathon! 

Look for Achieving Your Goal Step Three later this week!  Sign up for my mailing list to have it delivered to your email.

Ria is a motivational leadership speaker and life coach with a powerful story of overcoming adversity and transformation from victim-to-victor. Ria shares her story of triumph in her most recent book, Ria’s Story From Ashes To Beauty.