3 Steps to Perform Through Big Emotions and Stressful Situations

I had a bit of a parenting/coaching fail over the weekend – I let my son have a sleepover the night before a basketball game and when he showed up to play on Sunday, he was tired. ?If you’re a parent, then you know that a tired kid equals an emotional kid. So, when a few things went wrong in the game, he was upset – really upset – more than he typically would have been. We’ve all been there, right?

As he came off the court in the first half and sat next to me on the bench, he was frustrated. At one point in his rant, he said that the other kids were fouling like crazy, and the refs weren’t calling it. So, I dug into my performance coach experience and tried to bring him into neutral thinking. I said, “That may all be true, but you’ve got over half a game to play still. What are you going to do about it?”

You see, when times get stressful and emotions run high, the best performers, on and off the field/court, default to neutral thinking (if you want a great book on this, check out Trevor Moawad’s It Takes What It Takes). Meaning, that the best thing you can do is focus on what it takes to move forward.

Here’s three steps to do just that:

Step 1: Take a Breath and Pause: In the midst of overwhelming emotions and stressful situations, it's crucial to hit the pause button. Take a deep breath and allow yourself a moment to step back from the intensity. This simple act can create a space for clarity and prevent impulsive reactions. Whether it's a few deep breaths, a short sit-on-the-sidelines, or a moment of quiet reflection, giving yourself this break can make a significant difference in how you approach the challenges ahead.

Step 2: Radically Accept the Situation: Radical acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing the reality of your current circumstances, even if they're difficult or not what you expected. Instead of resisting or denying the situation, choose to accept it wholeheartedly. This doesn't mean you have to like or approve of what's happening; it's about recognizing that some things are beyond your control. By adopting this mindset, you free up mental energy to focus on finding constructive solutions rather than dwelling on what you can't change.

Step 3: Identify and Execute Your Next Move: Once you've taken a moment to center yourself and accepted the situation, shift your focus to the actionable steps you can take and what you have control over. Break down the challenges into smaller, more manageable tasks. Ask yourself, "What needs to be done next?" Prioritize these tasks based on urgency and importance. Having a clear plan of action can help you regain a sense of control and empower you to navigate through the stress. Whether it's seeking support, making decisions, or taking incremental steps, identifying your next move, and executing it with purpose will propel you forward.

Remember, these steps are not a one-size-fits-all solution, and the key lies in adapting them to your unique circumstances, but by incorporating these three steps into your approach, you'll be better equipped to handle big emotions and navigate stressful situations with resilience and grace.