3 Steps to Avoid Conflict and Restore Peace at Home and Work This Christmas

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The 2021 holidays are here, and many of you are cringing at the thought. As you deck the halls and roast chestnuts, it's possible that?a?political argument?or two will erupt with Uncle Larry or Cousin Sue, with some family members expressing vindication while others experiencing total annoyance.

With all the tension?over?politics, the pandemic, and the real or perceived loss of individual freedoms--not to mention colliding workplace and family issues--how can we restore peace both at?work and with family members?this holiday season?

According to research by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, the?New York Times?best-selling authors of Leading With Gratitude ?and co-founders of?The Culture Works , few things are as effective as gratitude at unshackling people from toxic emotions and providing stimulating effects on the brain, which can help?create?a more positive attitude this holiday season.

Gostick and Elton, who've chatted with me on the?Love in Action?podcast , offer three?ways to bring more gratitude into your holiday-season festivities:

1.?Connect by playing fair

Fairness may seem like a simple concept, but whether approaching a negotiation or an important conversation, a good rule of thumb is to first state your intention to treat anyone you are talking with fairly--and then live up to that goal.

During this holiday season, as you meet with family members it's a great idea to state that all conversations you engage in will be fair. Elton shares, "That means if at any point someone doesn't feel they have been treated fairly, then you go back and fix it." Gostick adds, "You'll find people are more grateful when they believe they've been treated with fairness. And when they feel grateful, they are more amenable to hearing others' viewpoints and listening with empathy."

Real connection can happen only when people feel they are on the same level and know that there will be no power moves or disproportionate voices.?

2.?Assume positive intent

When conversations get political, the authors note that it's important to resist the urge to scold people for their pronouncements or strike back. Instead, "we recommend trying to walk in their shoes," says Gostick.?

If someone expresses disappointment with the state of the country--even in harsh terms--ask the person how they've been affected and if they're doing OK.?Thank them for sharing what they're going through. Keep in your heart an assumption that everyone--whatever their political leanings--truly does want what's best for their family and the country.

"Oh, and one more thing," shares Elton. "Part of assuming positive intent is to be openly grateful to those of your loved ones whom you see trying to connect with others who have different ideas to find common ground."?

3.?Tailor your gratitude to each person

As a final tradition this holiday season, the authors endorse the act of "tailoring specific expressions of gratitude to each person you love--letting each family member or friend know exactly why you are thankful for them."

One example is sending them a specific video message or a handwritten note detailing how they've made your 2021 a little more bright. This kind of gratitude can also be a terrific way to cap off any holiday party you are able to have, letting each person take a turn to express whom they are thankful for at the gathering. "The only rule," says Gostick, "is that they have to pick someone who hasn't been thanked yet, and they need to explain?why?that person is deserving of gratitude."

After all of this, if someone you love is still bothered by politics, empathy can go a long way, note the authors. "Get personal by asking them how their situation has been affected by who won the election or how the country is doing," says Elton. This can convert a divisive red versus blue debate into an empathetic individual-to-individual dialogue that shows you care about them.

Your turn: Which of these will you put into action in the coming days? Share in the comments.

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On episode 111 of the Love in Action Podcast, I sat down with the lovely Robin Ganzert, President and CEO at American Humane , an organization dedicated to ensuring the welfare and safety of animals while strengthening the bond between them and humans. She is a global nonprofit executive who has been featured on CNN, World News Tonight, Fox Business News, and other notable media outlets. Robin is also an author, radio host, and the Executive Producer of the hit television show: Hallmark Channel’s American Humane Hero Dog Awards. Her recent book,?Mission Metamorphosis: Leadership for a Humane World , is an inspirational guide to increasing business revenue while effecting positive change in the world.

This was a deep conversation about an incredible turnaround story of America’s oldest national humane organization.

6 Key Highlights from This Episode

• On philanthropy: “Often, when people start working in a philanthropic organization, they’re so in love with the mission that they forget there’s a business that is needed behind running the mission. That’s when they can lose their way. That story about marrying the mission to a business model was necessary to tell," shared Robin.
• On courage and being tested: Robin shares some of the tough decisions she’s had to make over the years as leader of American Humane. “When you’re a CEO, a leader, you have to have the moral courage to make those tough decisions in the toughest times when you’re really being tested, and you have to have a [strong] belief in the mission and your own vision,” she adds.
• On culture: You can have a great business strategy, but if your organizational culture is one that doesn’t support the organization’s mission, it will be all for naught, Robin advises. When people aren’t inspired to do work that is noble and excellent, they lose their sense of pride, and the culture suffers.

• On her journey: There were many institutional obstacles in Robin’s professional journey by virtue of her gender alone. She talks about the challenges she faced being a working woman in the South.
• On breaking the glass ceiling: While it’s easier to break the glass ceiling in the nonprofit world, it doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park. When Robin was hired at American Humane, there was a huge gap between her salary and the salary of the interim CEO. Robin also addresses the lesser-known acts committed against women leaders, including online sexual harassment.
• On her mission: “I believe that we can all build a more humane world for people, animals, and the world we share,” Robin remarks. “I would like everyone to join that effort.”

Listen now: Web | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Download

This episode was made possible by Duck Creek Technologies. Built for insurance, by insurance. Visit?www.duckcreek.com ?to learn more.

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An invitation to develop your management team

I have created the ‘From Boss to Leader ’ course to teach?new and emerging?leaders and managers?the leadership skills they need to succeed in post-pandemic times. Watch this?2-minute video ?to see if it may be right for your management team. Then I invite you to?book a 15-minute call with me ?so I can personally hear your organizational and leadership challenges and offer some free advice.

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About Marcel Schwantes

Marcel Schwantes ?is a global speaker, leadership expert, executive coach, author,?podcast host , and?syndicated columnist ?with a worldwide following. He teaches emerging leaders the skills to build great work cultures where people and businesses flourish.