3 simple ways to make an unforgettable first impression

Hi it’s me Al. Welcome to this issue of The Speakeasy.?

Did you know that it only takes 30 seconds for someone to make up their mind about you?

30 seconds. That's all you've got.?

It’s not fair. Some days I can’t even get both my shoelaces tied in 30 seconds.

It’s also not accurate. We’re complex creatures! How can a potential employer possibly determine the extent of your professional abilities in such a short space of time? (For one, I only get to my first magic trick at around minute three of a job interview. Maybe I need to move the famous Davis handkerchief-sleeve gag up the order…)

The answer is: they can’t. But unfortunately, as the ancient Greek proverb goes, ‘Them is the breaks.’

So, rather than complaining about it, we’re better off understanding this phenomenon, and crafting our pitches/presentations and job interviews to fit it.

So let’s do that. First we need to understand what is going on…

First impression bias

Behavioural scientists call this phenomenon the first impression bias. It’s described as ‘A limitation in human information processing that causes us to make quick and incomplete observations about others based on the first piece of information we perceive.’

In other words: if our brains are computers, we're still running Windows ‘95.?

Most likely an evolutionary hangover from a time when quick-decision making was a matter of life or death, it’s a process that we all undertake when meeting someone for the first time.?

In some instances it is possible to change someone’s initial opinion about you. But that requires time. And even then (if you follow politics at all, you’ll know what I mean), it’s a monumental challenge to get someone to re-evaluate their biases.

“When we have to change our mind about a person, we hold the inconvenience he causes us very much against him.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Time is not on your side

When it comes to job interviews, sales, or presenting, we don’t have the luxury of time to even start that process. In the words of Mr. Rogers:

‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.’ - Will Rogers

You need to make those 30 seconds count. You need to nail that first impression. We can do this by making sure that our verbal and non-verbal cues are communicating the kind of impression we want to create.?

3 things you need to do to nail your first impression

I want you to imagine that you’re the owner of a new restaurant. How do you get people off the street to come in?

• The overall appearance. The signage, the lighting, the decor etc. These visual cues are the first point of contact.

When it comes to making a first impression, it’s the same. Those visual cues are your body language. Take note of your body position. Are you open? Are you making eye contact? Most importantly, are you smiling? Smiling is the easiest and most important visual cue. It elevates your message and lets your receiver know that you are on their side.?

• The mood. Along with the visual cues, the acoustics complete the mood of your restaurant. Soft music, low chatter, pleasing sounds… as the French like to say ‘Ohmbeeyaaance!’ (that’s me trying to spell ambience with a French accent, not spell Beyonce. Apologies to all Beyonce fans).

When it comes to making a first impression, the ambience is your voice! The two most important factors to control in your vocal output are volume and melody. By speaking with the correct volume and with melody (instead of monotonously), you signal that you are calm and in charge and make your listener comfortable, engaged, and receptive to what you say.?

Good volume and melody can be achieved by good breathing (belly breathing). I break down how to achieve this in this newsletter on belly breathing. Give it a read!

• The food! Last but not least, of course, is the menu. The menu is the final hook that makes a potential diner want to stay.?

When it comes to speaking, the menu is your words! In those first 30 seconds - those precious moments you have to create a first impression - the most important thing is to present yourself as someone who is confident, competent and professional. The best way to do this, vocally, is to speak with no filler words.?

That means reducing your ‘umms, aaahs’ (preferably to zero!). Using too many filler words makes you sound less confident and less knowledgeable, which will negatively impact that first impression. Good breathing and getting comfortable with pausing is key here. Here’s an article I wrote on how to get comfortable with pausing when speaking.

Those are the three most important things to get right to make an excellent first impression. Remember:

Your body language pulls them in. Your voice makes them comfortable. What you say makes them want to stay! - me

See you next week for some more on how to speak and present better than ever before. If you want even more in-depth explanations and exercises for how (and why) the tips above work, check out my course on how to take your digital meetings to the next level.

In case you missed it…

I love hearing your comments and learning about the particular challenges you’re facing when it comes to speaking confidently. Check out some of the recent discussions from our LinkedIn community about presenting online, negotiating in the flesh, or simply being more assertive and confident in meetings, and leave a comment. I answer 100% of questions asked!

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